The Forest and the Savior--Tate Langdon (AHS) Fan-Fiction

Chapter 4

I'm ice cold. My body only feels numb, and breathless, like I stepped on an icy lake, when the ice was too thin, and I'm sliding through, the chill and ice shards piercing through me, like glass. Sinking deeper and deeper, my mind begins to wonder, why? Why am I here? Why am I like this? Why aren't I happy? Why aren't I dead?

If you asked me what hurt worse, being trapped in the world concious, or being trapped in my subconcious during slumber, I wouldn't be able to answer, from how equally painful both realities are. Being awake, you can't escape everyone, but being in your deepeste slumber, makes you not able to escape yourself. But, in both, one things hurts worse than anything: silence.

"Is she alright?"

"It looks like she has been through a significant amount of emotional, and mental trauma, but also has a very fragile physical state... She will need to be sent into a foster system until we can find a proper family to take her in."

Thats all I hear in the conversation between the man who found me, and the excuse for a doctor who implies he "cares". Slamming my head back in the tough, firm pillow, I look upwards, seeing all my memories flash up, into my mind, trying to distract myself, but it being too imbearable to ignore. If I wanted to be in a foster system, and have a new family, I would of done that myself a long time ago, when I was alone. But did I? No. So, why would I have to be sent to one? I sit up on the bed, contemplating which route is best to escape: Slamming my head on the tile floor, or jumping out the window from my room, on the 13th floor. Suddenly, jumping, I hear the door open, hitting the wall, with a small bang, making me into my bed, triggering an episode of heavy breathing and painful anxiety rushing through me. Ben steps into my direction, in a rush, attending to me obvious anxiety.

"Its just me, Ben. I'm sorry to have starttled this you this bad."

"Startle me? You didn't fucking startle me. Fuck off."

Once I spit that out, angrily, I turn, curling into me knees, not wanting to hear any words from him.

"Lillian um.. I wanted to tell you of something.. Dr. Threadson has informed me that you have to go into a foster care system, since it is seen that you have no family, or proper home, to be able to contact or have you go to... and since you're not a legal adult yet, you can't bee seen on your own. But, I wanted to give you a choice. Would you rather, go into the foster system, or would you like to be living with me, and my family..?"

His eyes pierce into me, with kindess and care, like a blade dowsed in fire, to make it less painful inside, but still sting, and make the blood dry up before exiting the newly made wound. The offer races through my head, making me whirlwinded and confused. Why is he doing this..? He only just met me, why does he want to help me so bad?

"I don't want to be some charity case, Mr. Harmon. You might as well just leave me here."

"I want whats best for you.. Im just looking out for you, Lillian. But, you decide."

Ben finally leaves the bed, into the hallway again, as I sit here, shocked and confused, my mind at a blank, not knowing what would be the right decision to make, out of three options I have set on:

Going into foster care for endless amounts of pure torture with strangers,

Killing myself in the endless methods I've thought of to die, or

Go on and live a seen eternal hell in the hands of a man who just met me, but presumably cares.

The thoughts run through my head like horses competing in a race for their lives, pounding their hooves down and banging through the earth to the core. The choices all run through my head, making it conflicting to decide my fate. Maybe life with him wouldn't be so bad.. Maybe you could be hap- no, stop it.

No matter how many times I think of the second decision being my best route and a final end to everything I've endured, I think about what would be my best shot, to be able to survivie just a little longer. Wearily, I call Ben into the room, blood racing to my head, my heart pounding in pure fear. I see him walk in, and I take a deeo breath.

"Yes, Lillian?"

"Mr. Harmon.. When would you want to take me to your home?"

Before being able to say anything anymore, he immediately says "Tomorrow morning, ten o'clock tops".

Hearing the words breaks through my heart, making it feel something slightly other than pain, and I nod, laying back down, in a sense of clarity, for the events further in my life, than this point. Hopefully, it was right to do.