The Eighteen Year Fallout

Chapter 7

The fallout of Alexa's pregnancy revelation resulted in neither of her parents speaking to her for almost a whole month but when they realised just how scared she really was – especially having lost the support of Carson- they acted like the adults they were meant to be and took control. As October came her mom had insisted on making her watch a video on childbirth. She was guessing her mom expected it to scare her into changing her mind about having the baby but it just made her realise just how beautiful birth really was. Her mom didn't push the matter again though. Alexa guessed she realised her mind wouldn't be changed and in a way she thought  she was quite proud of her for taking responsibility. Maybe she wasn't but the way she had enveloped Alexa warmly in her arms suggested otherwise. After all this wasn't something her mom did very often.

Her father on the other hand was not as enthusiastic as her mom. Although he was talking to her again, he never looked directly at jer. When he did – which wasn't often- there was a look of sheer disappointment and disgust on his face. This hurt Alexa greatly, being a daddy's girl for most of her life she wasn't used to disappointing him, but what's done was done, he couldn't change that and acting like an immature twat – for lack of a better word – wasn't going to change it either. She just hoped that in time he would realise that she needed his support just as much as her mom's and step up to the plate.

November came and another month had past and she had not laid my eyes on Carson since that day in her bedroom. She assumed he was just avoiding her and she was grateful to him for that. She didn't want to see him. He had made himself very clear that day. The gossip about her pregnancy had eventually died down at school but was replaced by the concern for Carson's whereabouts. Rumours spread like wildfire. Some said he'd disappeared coming home from football practice, others said that he was in hospital. A few people had been brave enough to ask Alexa, but she told them she didn't know where the hell he was and she really didn't care either. In return she was given a sympathetic look. She was the girl who was pregnant and the baby daddy had done a runner.

No one was certain about his whereabouts though. Not until the day when the whole school was summoned to the assembly hall. 

The announcement came during homeroom telling everyone that they were all required to attend. Everyone had turned to look at each other, puzzled as to what was happening. It wasn't every day they were summoned by the headmaster. Entering the hall and seeing the figures standing on the platform, the whole school was unusually quiet. They all knew what it was about without having to ask. They all knew exactly who they were here to talk about. Carson.

Alexa felt nauseous as they settled into their seats and a police officer stood at the podium. She'd assumed Carson been skipping school to avoid her, but if the police were involved she knew it was serious. The police officer was a middle-aged man with short grey hair and a beer belly. He had a concerned expression on his face as he cleared his throat loudly and addressed them.

"Most of you will know why we are here" he signaled to the two other police officers sitting behind him, "The parents of Carson Michaels alerted us, with concerns regarding the whereabouts of their son when he didn't return home, almost a month ago."

He looked down at us all, as if he was searching for a reaction. The hall was silent though.

"If any of you know anything at all you need to tell us. His parents are very concerned as they say he was behaving out of character before his disappearance.  They assumed he had went to stay with a friend but after contacting everyone they could think of they came to us. Because of his parents worrying description of his behaviour in the days prior to his disappearance, we need to find him, before he hurts himself or someone else."

Alexa gasped. This was all her fault. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, he wouldn't have left home or gone where ever the hell he was. This was entirely her fault and if anything happened to him it would be on her conscience, no matter how he'd treated her that day in her bedroom.

Tears were streaming down her face at this realisation and her growing anger at Carson for abandoning her. She stood up abruptly and everyone turned to look at her, including the police officers. She grabbed her bag off the floor before pushing herself through the row she was sitting in and running out of the hall. Alexa knew she'd made a scene but her anger paired with this new found guilt was too much for her to handle to care about what people thought right now.

His words were echoing in her mind. "I don't want anything to do with it or you”, "It's nothing to me. Nothing"  She remembered the harsh tone of his voice emphasising that he meant every word that he said. He didn't give a shit about her or our baby.

Eventually Alexa stopped running and realised she was outside, beside the football pitch – how ironic. This made her sob even more. She slid down onto the bleachers, her head in her hands as she broke down. To be honest, she didn't even know why she was so upset. Yeah it was her fault Carson had left but it's not like she should care. She didn't like him, in either a platonic or  a loving way. He was just her baby daddy. Her baby daddy who wanted nothing to do with her or his baby. In a way she should have been happy he was gone. She wouldn't have to face his rejection every day and the regret of getting involved with him to start with.

"Oh Kiddo" she recognised Taylor's voice behind her but she didn't move from her position.

She heard the clacking of Taylor's shoes against the bleachers as she made her way down and sat beside her. She wrapped her arms around her and Alexa rested her head on her shoulders, crying into her.

"I don't know why you're crying about that son of a bitch" Taylor stated bluntly, pushing her hair back from her face.

Alexa giggled, "Me either. I think it's my hormones. I think it's just the realisation that he wants nothing to do with our baby."

She nodded sympathetically before grinning, "Alexa junior doesn't need that ass, she has got Aunty TayTay to look out for her"

Alexa laughed, "Who said it was going to be a girl eh?"

She snorted, "No offence babe, but seriously Carson junior? I think I'd have to disown you" she winked to show she was joking.

"I know" she sighed, squeezing Taylor#s hand, "As long as my baby's healthy I don't care"

She nodded her face serious. Alexa couldn't help think about what she'd said though. Could she deal with seeing a baby every day that had Carson's eyes or his hair or his crooked smile?

That would be the ultimate challenge and she didn't know if she could overcome it.

No matter how hard she tried, a part of her ached for him. Whether it was for her baby or for herself she wasn't sure. Either way it didn't really matter. Carson was gone and there was nothing she could do about it.