The Eighteen Year Fallout

Chapter 12

"Honey, you need to get some sleep" Carson grunted and turned around to face the nurse.

Her dark brown hair was tied up in a high-pony tail, framing her face. The wrinkles on her face indicated she was in her late forties. She attempted to give me a stern look but it faltered as she realised that he was going to give her the same response as he had the previous nights.

"I'm staying here" he stated bluntly turning away from her rudely, and stroking Alexa's  hair.

He heard her let out a high-winded sigh before she retreated out into the corridor. He was surprised that she'd let it drop so easily but he guessed she was getting fed up arguing with him every night.

For the remainder of the week, Carson had stayed at Alexa's bedside in the hospital.  At the beginning, various nurses would come in during the night and tell him to go home and sleep, but he refused. He needed to be with her and the baby. They were his family now and he wasn't going to run, not again. Although he knew he owed Alexa for all the pain he'd put her through in the last few months he was also surprised to find he wanted to be at her bedside. No matter what anyone else said they had been on the road to becoming good friends before Alexa had dropped the bombshell that blew them apart.

After what seemed like a hundred attempts to get him to leave, they seemed to give up. They saw that they were losing a winning battle. Carson would be there until she woke up, whether they liked it or not.

The baby was starting to get used to Carson now, although she was very young. When he would speak, she would recognise his voice almost instantly and fuss until he came over to the incubator. She was still very weak, being born at least three months earlier than expected, but she was a fighter. He craved to cradle her in his arms and hold her close but she was hooked up to various machines to help her stay alive. He could deal with not holding her if it meant she was healthy and alive. That was all he wanted right now.

The baby still was being referred to as ‘Baby’. Carson hadn't wanted to name her without Alexa, that was a task for both of them to do. Together.

It was a Friday night, exactly a week since Alexa had been admitted and there were no signs of improvement in her condition. The doctors were very tight-lipped, unwilling to give them hope that she’d be okay but also unwilling to take their hope away. They just kept repeating the same phrase every time Carson or Lissa had asked “Until she’s awake we cannot determine anything.”  Somehow though, this gave them hope. After all, they said “until” and to Carson that meant she had to wake up, that they were expecting her to.

“Carson?” the female voice was unfamiliar.

Carson turned around from his position beside the baby’s incubator to see a concerned looking Taylor standing by the door. Her usually, carefully groomed hair, was tied back loosely and her face was stripped of makeup. She was wearing a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms and matching jacket – not her usual attire – and he couldn't help letting out a chuckle at the sight. He noticed her hands were shaking by her sides as she came towards him awkwardly.

“How...how is she?” she whispered, a look of fear in her eyes.

“The same” he sighed running his hand through his hair. 

An awkward air lingered between them as the room fell silent and they looked at each other uncomfortably.

“I had to lie at the desk” she chuckled awkward breaking the silence, “We’re sisters now. That bitch wouldn't let me in every other time I tried to visit”

Carson nodded. Because of her condition, it was family only but he knew Alexa classed Taylor as a sister so it was only right she was here, whether it made him uncomfortable or not. He stood up and offered her the seat he was sitting on out of politeness. She smiled gratefully but she stopped when she saw the incubator. She gasped as she saw the baby, her hand trailing over the edge of the incubator.

“Hi baby girl” she cooed kissing her forehead gently.

She turned back to face him, a pained expression on her face. He knew exactly what she was thinking but he tried to push it from his mind. He couldn't feel guilty about the past right now. His daughter needed him here in the present caring for her. The past had to stay in the past.

It appeared Taylor realised her downfall as she grimaced uncomfortably before asking Carson was had happened. She had attempted to ask Lissa multiple times on the phone but she would end up getting upset and as curious as Taylor was, she wasn't downright cruel. Carson explained everything that had happened up until this point and she remained silent long after he stopped talking. Her eyes were fixated on Alexa, lying motionless in the bed. They glazed over as everything he’d said sank in. Her hands were gripping the arm of the chair, tightly.

“She has to be okay” her voice was barely a whisper.

For the second time in the last week, he felt powerless, unable to comfort those who needed it. First Lissa, and now Taylor.  He had to leave the past in the past. but he knew Taylor was devastated right now so he took a step forward and patted her shoulder awkwardly.

“She will be" he replied simply, his voice telling her not to argue back.

His words, as simple as they might have been, seemed to have been some comfort to her as her shoulders relaxed and she sank into the chair, letting out a defeated sigh. She smiled as the baby curled her tiny little fist around her finger and she ran her other hand across her cheek affectionately.

“She has Alexa’s eyes” she smiled, turning slightly so she was facing him.

“Mmm”

She was right in what she said though. Whenever he looked at the baby, he saw Alexa and he prayed that he’d be able to look into her eyes again. The baby was a miniature Alexa and he yearned for them to be a family; all three of them. Him, Alexa and their baby.

But was was almost as worrying as the thought of Alexa not waking up was the reminiscent look on Taylor's face as she looked between him and the baby. This was his family now and he had to make sure nothing came in the way of that, especially the past and the secrets it concealed.