The Mermaid Pirate

Chapter Twenty-Four: Our Song

Holy poop! It's been awhile huh?

Nate's POV

Sighing heavly, I give the final commands to Howell to take over before heading back down to my chambers to retire early. We'll reach our destination within a day and a half then I'll be that much closer to finding Charlie. Howell looks at me with concern in his eyes, his greying bushy eyebrows pulled together in a small frown. He opens his mouth to say something else to me but then decides against it and only nods to let me know he understood. 

I turn away from him, unable to bear the stares of my crew any longer, all surpised to see me retire early. Howell must have noticed their stares and barked out orders causing some of them to jump, springing into action. Their heavy thuds against the wood scramble in perfect working order, readying the ship's sails for nightfall. 

I look out to the vast ocean and the heavyness around my heart seems to have gained weight, causing my entire body to feel heavy. The sun has started to hang low in the horizen, it too, getting ready for darkness. And for a moment, I wish it could be light all day. The darkness of the night is much too similar to the ever growing darkness in my soul. 

My mind is constantly haunted by the logical answer that Charlie just didn't disappear, she's dead. But my heart fights back in a losing battle, clinging onto the sliver of hope that since we didn't find a body she's still alive. She drowned you moron, of course you didn't find her body! The darkness snarls in my head and I press against my temples to try and get rid of the throbbing pain that never goes away.

I climb down the steep steps stiffly and ignore the mouth watering smells that come from the cook's kitchen. My stomach rumbles in protest but still, I ignore it. I realize I haven't eaten since morning but my rumbling stomach provides me a distraction from the emptyness I feel. 

Moving on their own, I find myself being lead by my own feet down the hall where Charlie's chambers are. Before I know it Im standing infront of her door, looking up at the custom stained glass window that Gin made for her. Her name is spelled out in solid black iron surrounded by colorful pieces of glass. 

I swallow hard and grasp the cold metal handle but hesitate before pushing it open. I'm breathing heavily as if I had just ran ten miles, my heart slamming against my chest. After a few minutes I swig the door open and step inside for the first time since her disappearence. 

I'm greeted by the large french window at is at the bow of the ship with the sinking sun directly infront of the window. Her thick crimsion curtans remain pulled open, tied back with gold rope in perfect bows. The long plush window seat is empty, looking naked with Charlie laying there with a book in her face. She's always there in the evenings. Always reading. 

I choke back a sob, angerly willing myself to not cry. Crying will get me nowhere, I firmly tell myself. Looking away from the window her large bed fit for a queen is too empty and my heart falls to my stomach, crushed by stupid false hope she would appear out of the blue. 

The sun's rays causes a glint to catch my eye. Her grand piano in the back corner of chambers stays silent while it collects dust. I run my hand on top of the smooth surface and sit on the tiny stool. Memories hit me full force, drowning me in sorrow and regret. Guilt swallows me whole how I couldn't protect her. 

"Watch after her Nate... your sister is a special little girl." The only words I remember from my mother suddenly rings loudly in my ears. My forehead tingles from the faint memory of my mother's lips kissing me briefly before leaving me with my sister in my arms, crying out for our mother. That's my earliest memory, and the only one of my mother. Chalrie was only 4 at the time and I was no older than 10, left helpess on the beach.