The SONS Daughter

Nine

He came in and sat on the bed, and i sat down next to him. I had so many mixed feelings going on. I was angry, jealous, upset. I was so curious as to what went wrong again. I knew deep down i couldn't be mad at him, we weren't even together at this point in time, and i had just done the same thing to him. It was different though, or at least i thought it was.

"That night with Lilah, it was a mistake. I was drunk, and she was practically throwing herself at me." I folded my hands in my lap and looked down at them, distracting myself by playing with my thumbs.

"You can't keep blaming shit on being drunk Ope."

"You did the same thing last night." He pointed out, and i wished he was right. I wasn't drunk enough to blame what happened with Tom last night on the alcohol alone. Truth is, i was hurt, and he reminded me so much of the man that i really wanted to be with that night. Those two things alone are enough for me to do what i had did. As much as i wanted to tell him the truth i couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to potentially ruin my chances of me and Opie being together again.

"Where did we go so wrong Opie?" I felt my eyes start to water.

"I'm so sorry for what i did." I tried to hold back my comments, but i couldn't. It had built up and now i couldn't stop it from finally erupting.

"What exactly is that? Having sex with another woman, having no remorse for it, or leaving me alone in stockton for 13 months?" I stood up, and put some space between us, facing my back towards him. "I called you everyday for months, and you never answered. You never visited me and your name was at the top of my list. I never even got a letter from you Ope." The tears started to fall down my cheeks, leaving wet streaks on top of the almost healed bruises. "I should've been the one to ignore you, but i didn't, I couldnt. Even after what you did all I wanted was you." I wiped some of the tears, awaiting for his response.

"Sorry will never fix what I did Jacklyn, you know that."

"Then what's your excuse Opie?" I turned around and faced him. He was looking at me, tears falling down his cheeks in the same pattern as mine.

"I thought you didn't deserve me. I tried to push you away so you wouldn't have to be hurt by me ever again. It took so much for me to ignore your calls, all i wanted was to hear your voice, but i couldn't." His lips trembled and he looked down at the ground. "You deserve so much more than me."

I didn't know what to say to him. I knew he meant what he said, but it hurt so much. Knowing that the one person i was trying to get to, was doing the opposite to me.

"You should've let me decide that Opie." He nodded his head in agreement. "If i was better off without you, i would have left 5 years before that." My lip trembled and i started sobbing. Opie was my weakness. I have always been tough, and I built my walls up with reinforcement. Those walls always came with a door when I was with Opie, one that only he could walk through and see the other side of me. "Opie, I still love you." I spoke quietly, almost as if I didn't want him to hear it.

He looked over at me and met my tear filled eyes. "You shouldn't."

He stood up and left my room, shutting the door behind him. I screamed out in anger and confusion, embarrassed by how honest I was. I turned around and my natural reaction was to punch the first thing i could. My fist collided with the mirror hanging on the wall, breaking it into pieces. My knuckles instantly poured blood in response, and shards of glass got stuck. I sat down on the ground next to my bed, crying so hard i had started hyperventilating.

After a few minutes of calming myself down, and bleeding everywhere I finally stood up. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my hands, putting on some sunglasses before walking out to face people. I walked down the hallway and to the main room, my eyes searching for Chibs, the one person who i knew could help stitch me up. When i found he wasn't in the room, I decided to head to my mom's, hoping she could do something. I quietly left the clubhouse, and walked to my Jeep, knowing now wouldn't be a time to ride. Just as i got to my Jeep I heard my name being called. I tried to ignore it and climb into my vehicle but before I could, Jax was behind me.