How It Could Have Been ~ The-Mockingjay-xx

Chapter 3

"Gale," I say and run at him as tears of joy stream down my face. I fling my arms around him and burrow my head in his neck; I must have taken him by surprise because at first he jumps back slightly but the feeling of his strong arms pulling me into him reassures me that he has missed me too. He hasn't changed at all. He still smells like the woods, like freedom. I have craved this smell for so long.
"I'm so sorry Katniss," he says as he pulls me back with his hands on my shoulders. I see tears begin to well up in his eyes and know he blames himself for Prim's death before another word even escapes his mouth. I've never seen Gale cry, not even when he was whipped; this is one of the things that I love about him, he is so strong, so dependable and I know when I am with him I will always be safe. "It was my fault that Prim died, I designed the bomb, I... I wanted to protect her, I never thought that my bomb would be used against your sister. I don't think you will ever be able to forgive me but please know that if it was possible I would change my life for hers in a heartbeat and -" I can't bear to hear him blame himself for this anymore and I need a way to make him stop talking so I take his face in my hands and kiss him hard on the lips. After a few seconds I pull away.
"Gale I don't blame you. I was so worried you would think that and wouldn't come back home. It was Coin's orders to bomb the Capitol children not yours."
"But I designed the bombs," he cuts in. He looks so desperate, so helpless. I can't stand to see him like this, he has always been here for me, for my family, now it is my turn to look after him. I place my finger on his lips.
"Shhhhh. You were only following orders, something I should have done more of!" I give a slight laugh to try and cheer him up and he smiles sadly. "You have looked after Prim for so long, kept her alive, I know you would never want to hurt her. If there is one thing I have learned from Peeta it is to forgive people and now I am forgiving you. Please, I love you Gale. Just do this for me." He smiles then and I see his grey eyes light up.
"I'll try Catnip," he replies as he pulls me into him again. I have missed this feeling of security that runs through me when he holds me tight like he is doing now. I have missed his presence. "I planted these in honour of Prim, they are evening primrose." Our eyes meet and I know he is truly sorry, I know this because I can see the pain that hides within him.
"Thank you," I say. Now I realise that I love him, that I always have but I have been too busy caught up pretending to love Peeta. How much have I hurt him? It must have been a lot, but he hasn't given up on me.

I finally break the silence which has occurred for about 30 seconds. "Come in! I am about to make tea and you must be starving," Gale laughs and picks up his gardening tools before following me inside. After about an hour of tinkering with different cooking utensils which I didn't even know existed and juggling multiple pots and pans, we sit down to enjoy a succulent meal of rabbit stew and vegetables. "So why did you come home?" I ask.
"To find you," Gale replies without hesitance. "I knew if you were ever going to forgive me I had to speak to you face to face but I never thought you would."
"What would you have done if I didn't?"
"Well I was offered this big military job in District 2 once the war finished. They begged me to accept but I turned them down," he says. I am stunned. Why would he turn them down? He would have got payed a lot of money and he is very attractive, any girl would be stupid to reject him. He could have lived the perfect life but he said no.
"But why?" I ask inquisitively, "You would have got payed excessively and any woman would be an idiot to turn you down Gale, you are all anyone could ask for. Why come here?"
"You can't put a price on true love Katniss. I don't care if the job was to become President, I came here for you," he explains.
"I'm not special," I say.
"Then you're stupid," he shoots back. "Don't you remember what Peeta said in his interview before your first Games, you are all anyone talked about at school. Literally every boy wanted to go out with you."
"Not every boy," I say, doubtful that what he said was entirely true.
"I did," he replies. "I always have but I was scared that if I told you and you didn't like me in that way that it would ruin what we had already. So I never told you."
"Gale," I look at him, unsure what to say next. That I do like him in that way now? That he has no competition from other boys? That I love him? Maybe I do. "Gale, I... I don't know what to say. I know there has always been something between us but I was too afraid to acknowledge it until now. But here I am." He stops eating and looks at me in disbelief.
"You are just saying that out of pity, you still haven't let go of Peeta," he says and looks back down at his plate.
"If I still loved Peeta why am I here with you?" I snap back at him. I can see him process the thought and know he realises that I am right. "I want you Gale, please believe me."