How It Could Have Been ~ The-Mockingjay-xx

Chapter 13

     The soft grey light of early morning seeps in under my curtains. The dawn of a day that I should be looking forward to has arrived. But I'm not looking forward to it at all. Even though I love Gale, which I do more than anything, I find it difficult to see Peeta moving on after everything that happened between us in the Games. This day has been looming for a while now and I thought I would be ready to watch him tie the knot with Delly, but now more than any other day I realise that I am unprepared. If Gale was awake now I know that I would be ok, but it's early and seems unfair to wake him. Gale can make anything seem ok.

Quietly, I crawl out of bed and slide into my hunting clothes. They are as soft and familiar to my skin as always. Without disturbing Gale I sneak out of the house and set off at a pace down into town. District 12 seems dead. The shutters of the shops are closed, the lights of nearby houses unlit. It's cold this morning, the air almost frosty which is odd for mid June. My breath floats out into the light in a chilly, grey cloud and I pull my collar up over my mouth to keep it warm. I am just strolling past the bakery when I hear a voice.
"You here to finish me off, sweetheart?" At first his voice startles me, but I know instantly who it is. He said the same words to me when I found him by the stream in our first Games.
"Peeta?" I ask, searching for the source of the sound. I find him slouched against the wall at the side of the bakery, munching on an apple. "What are you doing here?"
     "I should say the same to you."
     "Well I was going for a walk, actually. To clear my head."
     "Oh. Want an apple?" Before I can answer he tosses one in my direction. My arm jerks to the side and the apple lands neatly in my hand. "Nice catch."
     "Thanks," I say. He takes another bite of his apple. "Anyway, you never answered by question."
     "Same as you really. I just set off walking and my thoughts brought me here."
     "And the apples?" I ask inquisitively, sinking my teeth into my own.
     "A tree I spotted on the way. I was hungry."
     "Oh," I slide down the wall and sit next to him. There are a few seconds of silence which are finally broken by my voice. "I can't believe you're getting married in a few hours," I say.
     "I know, it seems crazy."
     "Are you nervous?" My eyes shift from my feet to Peeta.
     "Slightly... but don't you go telling everyone!"
     "Of course not!" I laugh. "...Although I think Haymitch would like to hear it."
     "Telling Haymitch is practically telling everyone. Just give him a bottle of whisky and the whole of Panem will know!" We both chuckle. When our laughing dies down, Peeta continues, "Well, I guess I will know in a few hours."
     "You'll know what?" I raise one of my eyebrows. What will he know? Whether he loves Delly? Surely he knows that already, otherwise he wouldn't have proposed to her.
     Peeta pauses for a second, before saying, "Whether I made the right decision." He takes another bite of his apple and tosses the core in the bin on the other side of the alley. Before I have the chance to ask another question, he's gone.

     Peeta's words ring in my head all the way into the woods and back home. About an hour after setting off I arrive back at my house, still going over our conversation in my head. What did he mean? I think to myself. What did he have to decide? I ponder these questions all the way up to my front door, when I am greeted with a relieved Gale.
     "Where have you been?" he says.
     "I-" before I can finish Gale grabs me and pulls me into his arms. Startled, I just freeze with my empty game bag in my hands as he hugs me tightly.
     "Sorry," he apologises. "I had no idea where you had gone. I thought since it was... well, today... that you had disappeared somewhere."
     "Wow, thanks for being faithful," I retort sarcastically, sliding past him into the hallway. He follows me into the kitchen and I plonk my empty game bag on the table.
     "I didn't mean it like that," he says with a sigh. "No game today?"
     "I didn't feel like hunting. Just went for a walk."
     "Oh, anything interesting happen?" I stare awkwardly at my feet.
     "I saw Peeta."
     "Where?"
     "Sat by the side of the bakery, eating an apple. I was walking past and he recognised me. We started talking, about... later. There was something he said though; I can't get it out of my head."
     "What did he say?"
     "Something about finding out whether he made the right decision. He disappeared before I could ask him what he meant."
"Hmm, oh well. You are ok, right?" he looks at me softly.
"Of course I am, I have you." I smile and walk back into his arms. They are as warm and stable and comforting as they always are.