How It Could Have Been ~ The-Mockingjay-xx

Chapter 9

     "Katniss!" Johanna uses the last of her energy to holler my name before she collapses onto the road.
     "Johanna!" I yell in return, and manage to break my arm free of Gale's. It doesn't matter, though, because he is running down the path with me. Effie mustn't have realised because when she turns to see what we are running at she gasps and her hands shoot up to cup hem mouth. Luggage is hurled in all directions as Gale tosses Johanna's bags anywhere away from her body, and I somehow manage to find a head in the decreasing pile of bags. She's a strong person and I think she'll be able to cope, so I sit her up, her head down between her knees, and I rub her back with my hand.

"Not exactly the homecoming party I was hoping for," Johanna smiles. Homecoming? That would explain the excessive baggage. I'm glad Johanna's moving in, I enjoyed being her roommate in District 13. Despite her stubborn attitude and angry temper, she can be a very pleasurable person to be around when you get to know her. I would class her as a friend. A good friend. And we might even grow from that. It's funny, I've made more friends, real friends, from my experience in the Games and the war than I had before. These people are the only positive things that have come out of that torturous experience.

     Using my fingers, I run my hand through her hair and gently divide the knots.
     "Well you always have been one to make an entrance," I joke back. Johanna is now able to sit up properly, but her face is still a ghastly shade of white. She smiles and makes an attempt to stand up, but comes crashing back down again. "Here, let me help," I say, holding out an arm. She sighs and reluctantly links her arm in mine, I guess she never has been one to like to show weakness. "Seriously, you just collapsed and you won't even take help," I smile.
     "I wouldn't want to be outstaged by you again Girl on Fire," Johanna grins. "I've had that happen enough, I'm strong enough to drag myself to my new house." She just manages to lift her free arm up and point in the general direction of the Victors' Village houses which lie about one hundred metres down the path. By now I have managed to haul her to her feet, but to prove to her that she isn't strong enough to walk yet without assistance, I let go of her arm.

Fortunately Gale noticed what I was doing, because when Johanna's weak legs give way and she tumbles backwards, he is behind her to catch her. Johanna looks up at him and winks flirtatiously before saying, "I didn't know I would be falling for you already Gale. Although I have to say Katniss was stupid pretending to love Peeta all this time when in doing so she could have lost you. You're very handsome up close." A sarcastic sigh escapes my lips and I roll my eyes at her. Effie and I manage to peel her off Gale and she holds Johanna up as I approach him. I tuck my body as close to his as it will go, place my hand on his chest, and turn my head back towards them. Gale places his arm around my waist and begins to stroke my hair with his free hand.
     "Sorry Johanna," I say. "Already taken."

     Tears begin to appear in Effie's icy blue eyes at the sight of Gale and I so happy together. Capitol people get so choked up over gestures such as this ; I guess that is how I won the Games, by pretending to be in love with Peeta to get sponsors. I think at one point I did love him, during the Quarter Quell, when he hit the force field and I thought he had died. That's when I realised. But then he was taken to the Capitol, and changed. We've tried to bring him back to how he was, and he is considerably better than at first. I guess he isn't trying to kill me anymore. But it's not the same. No matter how many games of "Real or Not Real" we play, he will never be the same. Although there are much worse games to play.

     I always have loved Gale, in one way or another. Until after the Games when he told me how he felt, I could only see us as best friends, practically family, but not lovers. I guess now everything's changed. We've changed. For the better or for the worse is hard to tell. First we were whole, but caged like animals ; now we are broken, but free. My lifestyle is much better now, no fear or worry threatening to swallow me whole, but me personally? I still don't know. Moving forward I need to learn to love again, a lesson which only Gale can teach me. And it will be hard, but I am determined not to let either Snow or Coin have their victory. Because the war is not yet over, now is the time which determines who really won. The hardest part is not the fight, but the aftermath. Not the physical scars, but the emotional ones. Not the loss on the outside, but on the in. Although I guess one thing leads to the other.