How It Could Have Been ~ The-Mockingjay-xx

Chapter 4

The sunlight creeping through the gaps in the curtains signals morning has arrived. I feel Gale's chest slowly rising and sinking against my back and turn over to wake him up by gently prodding his arm. I take a moment to look at him as he sleeps, he looks so peaceful, so happy, so content.
     "Gale," I say softly, now stroking his soft, dark hair back into place, "Gale." His eyes flutter open and his face lights up as he whispers,
     "Hey Catnip." I smile gently and whisper back,
     "Hey Gale."

I kiss him softly on the forehead before pulling back the sheets on my side of the bed and sliding out. The sudden exposure sends a chill down my spine so I put on my dressing gown which hangs over the back of a chair next to my bedside table and wander downstairs. A pang of longing for Prim suddenly takes over and I feel the urge to be near her, but of course she can't be buried because there is nothing left of her. So I sit on the bench in my front garden as the fresh morning air blows through my hair and I admire the delicate flowers that Gale planted next to where I sit: primroses. A tear rolls down my cheek at the thought of her, so sweet, frail and gentle just like the flower for which she was named, yet so strong and so brave. My little sister, the only person I was sure I loved, gone.

I'm so wound up thinking about my little sister that I don't even notice Gale come and sit next to me until he speaks.
"Prim?" he asks, as if he can read my thoughts. I turn to look at him, my expression curious as to how he knew what I was thinking.
"How did you know?" I say. Gale's eyes have turned icy in the morning light and I can see how cold he feels, not physically from the frost which coats the blades of grass in a thin layer of winter despite it being early spring, but emotionally, on the inside. I guess this is how Gale and I cope, when we feel sad or cold we borrow each other's spark in order to set alight again. Now he needs mine. But this time it is different, he doesn't need the rebellious fire that roars within both of us, what he needs is a tender flame to warm his heart. A tender flame which only I can give him.
"I know you too well Katniss. I planted these in honour of Prim but they also seem like a sort of place you can come to be with her, not just to think of her but to sit with her. Since she doesn't have a grave of sorts, I knew this would be the first place you would go to when you missed her." He is looking down at his hands now as he plays with his fingers to avoid eye contact. "I'm so sorry." And that's when I see it. The whole world seems to stop as it falls to the ground and explodes leaving a perfectly circular hole in the web of frost. A tear. Not one of mine, one of Gale's. And this is the first time I have ever seen him cry. The fierce, strong, dependable soldier that I thought I knew is stripped down to reveal a person just as broken as I am, and guilt builds up inside of me. I have been so busy worrying about myself that I haven't even thought about Gale.

     Now it is my turn to look after him. I lay my head on his shoulder to let him know that I am here for him and he rests his head on mine.
     "Don't blame yourself Gale," I say quietly.
     "But I-"
     "No," I cut in. "I have forgiven you, now you need to forgive yourself."
     "I'll try," he says.
     "Thank you," I reply and I look deep into his eyes. "Oh Gale, I've just realised."
     "What? Are you ok?" he asks, running his eyes up and down my body for signs of injury.
     "No, nothing like that. I've realised we haven't been hunting together since the start of the war." Gale smiles at the idea. "Well are you coming, I'm hungry and it's not the same without my hunting partner." I stand up and offer my hand to Gale to pull him to his feet before disappearing back into the house to get changed.

     After changing into my hunting clothes, I braid my hair back into its usual style.
     "Come here Mockingjay," says Gale. I walk towards him curiously and see him take something off my bedside table. My mockingjay pin. He attaches it to my shirt and says, "there, I wouldn't be able to recognise you without that."
     "There's the Gale that I remember," I exclaim. "Well I'm hungry and I miss the Capitol food so are you ready?"
     "After you Miss Everdeen," he says as he holds the door open for me.
     "Wow, a true gentleman!" I trill in the high pitched Capitol accent as I walk out of the room.