The Way You Love Me

13. Argument

~Chapter Thirteen - Argument~

I stood frozen there for a moment, only staring at Caleb. Surely, he had asked me out several times in past but only as a friend. Those were the times when I looked too much into the situation and ended up falling for him. We never went to a ball before but there were still some rare parties which we were forced to attend because of our mothers. Our parents being friends usually shoved us in situations where we would enjoy only each other’s company.

But in past few months, I’ve never enjoyed the company of my best friend. He is more of a stranger now. We land up in awkward situations or silent disagreements. Even though we try to keep everything normal. We both know things are not normal. Maybe this is a chance to bring everything back on track.

Why did things steered off the track at first place? Because I confessed to him. Because he got a girlfriend.

“Why are you asking me? Why don’t you go and ask Natalie?” I frowned at him. My mind was a jumbled mess. Sure I felt happiness when the question had left his mouth but now my head is filled with numerous possibilities. I’m over thinking. But this is how my mind works. I think too much.

“I asked her but she refused. She is going out of the town with her parents. So she can’t come.” He replied.

“Then why are you going too. Why not stay and home and chat with your girlfriend over phone?” I suggested. My heart sees this as an opportunity. But my brain, it’s telling me I already have a date fixed with Blade.

People say always listen to your heart. Should I listen to my heart this time? But listening to heart is not always right. The best example of this is my confession to Caleb. I can’t forget how brutally my heart got broken back then.

I’ve rejected so many boys in my life. They come to me and confess and I say no. But being rejected for the first time made me realize what an awful feeling it was. That reflects my selfish nature, right? Some of the boys who had confessed to me might have gone through the heartbreak, the pain. I never felt their pain. Insensitive me. And then I felt heartbreak for the first time. Caleb didn’t feel my pain and started dating Natalie. So, does that make him selfish too?

I guess everyone is selfish to some extent. And there’s no doubt, I’m more selfish than any of my friends. I’m more closed off. They prevented Caleb from talking to me so that I didn’t have to go through this confusion, this pain once again. When I think about it, I would have never been able to do something like that if one of my friends was at my place. I would have just sat at a corner and watched the scene unfold in front of my eyes. I am so selfish. So inconsiderate of someone’s feelings. Maybe that’s the reason why I got my heart broken.

But this is not the time for self-reflection.

I have to decide. And I decide to listen to my brain. Because all heart does is act immaturely and cry in the end.

“Caleb, I’m sorry. I can’t go.” I told him calmly.

He blinked and then frowned. “Why? It’s not like you have something to do this weekend. Why don’t you go with me?”

For some reason, his words were getting on my nerves. I didn’t know why but I felt like he had no right to talk to me that frankly. He lost that right when he rejected me. No matter how many times I tell myself that it can be alright between the two of us, moments like this erase all my wisdom and I’m filled with anger.

“I am going on a date with Blade. So I can’t come.” I refused once again.

“What the hell? So you are dating Blade now?” He asked leaning towards me.