The Way You Love Me

18. Heart Beats Faster

A/N:

I don't usually post a note in the beginning of a chapter but here I am. It's been so long since I last updated. Have you forgotten what happened in the previous chapter? I mean Chapter Eighteen that was updated in November. I've taken it down because I was really, really, stuck due to it. And if you still remember what had happened in that chapter, then try to forget. This is chapter Eighteen.

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~Chapter Eighteen - Heart Beats Faster~

At that moment, I thought maybe I was too conceited when I didn't receive any answer from Blade. He wore a blank look on his face. I wondered what he was thinking. His intense gaze started making me feel uncomfortable. There was no happiness on his face. I was so sure that he liked me. But the sight in front of me made me rethink.

How many boys have confessed to me in the past? I can't even count them. But I know the number not small. Along the way, because of that, I got pretty confident on my ability of making boys fall for me. And that's when I confessed to the boy I loved. Unfortunately, he didn't return my feelings. That was a huge blow for me. I didn't want to accept that. But I became aware of the reality.

Once again, I felt like I was being rejected. His chocolate brown eyes were trained on me. I opened my mouth to ask the question again. Because he hadn't given me any answer. I was not flat out rejected. And if he rejects me right now, I won't hope much. It will save me from big deal of heartbreak.

My phone started vibrating in the pocket of my jeans. I cursed mentally and reached out for it. It showed Hailey's name. She had sent me a mail asking me to meet her at the parking lot as soon as possible.

"Blade," I looked at him. "Please give me your answer later."

I ran from there without hearing a reply.

The truth is I turned away from a situation that troubled me. Even though I had decided to face it. I ran away when my confidence was crumbled by Blade's silence. I tried to tell myself that I don't have to regret it and take it as an opportunity to end all this. But in reality, deep down, I was scared of being turned down once again. I desperately needed a lifeline to get me out of that problem. And Hailey's call served as that lifeline.

But what am I going to do now? What will Blade say?

The next day, I didn't want to go to school.

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I was waiting near the locker for Blade. There were no signs of him. Everyone in my group was already dating. The only single person left was I. And I had just asked a boy out but received no answer from him. I was anxious and I felt unsettled.

When Blade didn't show up, I decided to go to his locker. I knew where it was. As I made my way to my destination, I wondered why Blade hadn't shown up. Was he late? Or was he avoiding me?

That thought made me stop in my tracts.

Why would Blade avoid me?

The boy had always been the one to bother me. Always showing up his face when I didn't need him. And now he is avoiding me.

Does that mean he really doesn't like me?

Then why was he acting like he liked me from the beginning. He's the one who approached me first. He's the one who made me feel comfortable around him. His actions didn't say he only wanted to become friends. Not to forget all those flirtatious remarks.

My confidence took a massive blow from Caleb's rejection. If Blade also rejects me then the confidence won't exist anymore. I won't confess to any boy ever again. It's all because of this over confidence that I lose important people around me. What will happen if I lose Blade also?