Love Isn't Just For Me

Love, no matter how long, waits.

But, what if I’m sick of waiting?

What if I’m tired of pretending?

What if seeing him happy with another girl makes my heart breaking?

What if being numb seems to be the only way to ease the pain?

What if love isn’t just for me?

Should I blame myself? Or should I blame the people guilty of hurting me?

Wait. I shouldn’t blame them.

Everything happens for a reason. That’s what I thought. So maybe, they have those acceptable reasons why they had hurt me.

Love is not for me.

Love is not meant for me.

Love is the reason for all of this.

Love is the one to blame.

Chapter 1

It was late in the afternoon when I realized that I should be home. How could I forget? I need to feed Pops by now!

But then, I couldn’t. We have our last subject which is wood working. Duh? We’re not even doing anything right now. I tried to sneak out of the room when someone caught me.

“Hey! Where are you going?” he asked.

“As you can see, outside this boring room!” I said.

I was about to leave when he said something.

“Can I come with you?”

God! Di ba nya nakikita? Nasa may pinto na ko, nagtatanong pa! Pagka ako nahuli ni Sir Nigel, papatayin ko ‘to!

“You can’t.” Sabi ko na lang. Siguro naman titigil na ‘tong lalaking ‘to.

“Kung ganon pala.” Tumayo siya at may sinabi sa akin, “lagot ka.”

Anak ng? Sabi na’t ipapahamak ako nito eh.

Wrong move.

“Teka.” Kahit labag sa loob kong pasamahin siya, wala akong magagawa. “Let’s go!”

Hay. Badtrip ‘tong kaklase ko. ‘Di naman kami close nito. Feeling!

By the way, ako nga pala si Aila Mariz Mercado. 15 years old. Di kami mayaman, di rin naman kami naghihirap, so I guess, we’re in the middle class. Only child ako. Masaya kayang maging una at huli. Hmmm. Maganda ba ko? Ewan. See for yourself. Haha! Sabi nila kamukha ko daw si Da Hye ng City Hunter. Hindi kaya, I’m prettier than her!

Ok. Too much for this.

Ayan nga, I’m with this feeling close classmate of mine. Hanggang kelan nya ba ko balak sundan? Kainis ah.

“San ka ba pupunta?” he asked.

“Well, it’s none of your business.” Inis na sabi ko.

“Ang taray mo naman.”

“You don’t care.”

Patuloy pa rin kami sa paglalakad. Parang tanga ‘to, sunod ng sunod. Stalker much?

“Oy Aila my dear! You are so bagay with him oh!” sabi ng girlfriend ko from the other section.

“Huh?” Ok lang siya? Bagay nya mukha niya. Never!!

“Ayiee. Sabi niya bagay daw tayo.”

“Pwede ba Andrew Agoncillo? Tigil-tigilan mo ko!

“Parang hindi tayo magkaklase ah?”

“Hindi nga. Kasi hindi naman tayo close para gumanyan ka!”

“Ang sama pala ng ugali mo.”

“Masama na kung masama. Di mo kasi ako kilala. Wag kang magmagaling.” Kabwisit ‘to ah. Masasapak ko na ‘tong FC na ‘to. Anong karapatan niyang sabihan ako ng ganon?

“Ah. Sorry. Sige. Pasensya na..”

At tumalikod na siya sa akin at naglakad palayo. What’s with him?

Pero bakit nakokonsensya ako nung nag-sorry siya? Ano yun?

Eh bakit naman ako nakokonsensya? Kasalanan naman niya.

Umuwi na ko sa bahay.

Habang pinapakain si Pops, bigla na lang tumulo ang luha ko. Paksyet, alam ko na ‘to..

“Bakit ang tagal mo?” kinakausap ko na naman sarili ko.

“Bakit pinaasa mo ko?”

“Bakit? Di pa ba sapat yung mahal kita?”

“Bwiset naming buhay ‘to!” sabay tadyak ko sa container ng pagkain ni Pops.

“Sorry Pops. Pati ikaw nadadamay sa problema ko. Yung amo mo kasi eh. Panira sa mood ko.”

Pagkatapos kong pakainin si Pops, umakyat na ko sa kwarto ko. Wala akong ganang kumain eh.

I’ve decided to do my homeworks.

But then, I couldn’t concentrate with it.. Gosh. Bakit?

‘Cause something’s bothering me. Wait, scratch it. Someone’s bothering me!

Jeez. Why him?