Hollow || Gruvia

ultear;

"Ultear.", she mumbled in her sleep, a longing tone in her voice, unknowing that someone just as important was needing her right now.

Gray had snuck into the room, a soft pillow tightly attached to his chest. Awoken by a nightmare, probably about the swings, he had quietly made his way into her room. Just as he was going to jump in, he saw the obvious pain in her gaze.

He knew that name belonged to someone important, he could just tell. It was like a gripping feeling. To see her like this, it brought him great sadness, and yet, a feeling of seething, relentless jealousy. It was wrong, he knew that as much as any other person would, but he couldn't stop it. She was like the mother he never really had, a warm, loving touch in his freezing cold history. For someone to have a deeper place in her heart, it hurt him.

"Gray?", the woman had awoken, her voice slightly rough.

Gray had about three seconds to gather an explanation that did not involve him revealing that he had a nightmare, or his intention to sleep next to her.

"Where am I?", he responded, deciding to feign 'sleep-walking', although she had caught on from the moment she had opened her eyes. This was like a gem to her, a cute little moment she could recall in times of despair. These two kids made her forget her tragic past but because she fears they would feel like replacements, she's forced to hide it even more.

She hated herself for this, but this wasn't something she could forget. She kept it to herself, to protect them.

"Ultear.", he muttered under his breath, just audible enough to be heard. It was more like a question, the way it was spoken.

It was unexpected. Her eyebrows furrowed and gripped him into a tight hug. She felt so guilty inside.

"Who is that?"

His innocent words stung, because deep inside she knew that her reason for adoption wasn't so pure. Ultear was a void that she tried so hard to fill, the boys being a part of that filling.

"Someone special, like you.", she replied, smiling longingly just at the thought of her.

"More special than me?", he asked, almost impulsively. He didn't like the feeling of jealousy but he was far too curious at this point.

"Gray, I think it's time I told you. You might not understand now, but you will when you're a bit older.", she got up and sat him down next to her.

"I love you and Lyon. You are both my entire life.", she began. "Ultear was born out of my aggression and pain. I wanted a family so badly but when I found out that might not be possible, I forced all that negativity onto her."

"Why couldn't you have a family?", he asked, staring into her eyes. Her expression wilted like a flower at the question. Her eyes shut slightly, trying to hide the pain. But it was obvious.

"Cancer.", she replied plainly. Her breath drew short, causing her to lapse into a coughing fit. Taking a moment to recompose herself, she wrapped her fingers around his jet black locks and pulled lightly.

"Like the star sign?", he continued with his questions.

"No. It's a different kind.", she smiled softly. "I was ill, but I'm fine now."

"Ur, you're my family.", Gray blurted out, missing the entire point. He just wanted to characterise how much she meant to him. When she said that she couldn't have a family, he felt threatened. As if he wasn't family enough. He hugged her tightly, afraid that she would leave somewhere, somehow.

"Gray, you will always be family to me.", she softly reminded him, patting his soft, raven hair.

She gazed into his eyes, wanting to reveal everything, and the same time, wishing that she never had this past. The last thing she wanted is to hurt the two boys, even if it meant forgetting a precious, yet tragic piece of herself. And so, she closed her eyes, tearing her soul a little in order to protect him. "Let's get back to sleep.", she spoke, pinching his nose one last time.                  

Ultear never truly existed. She was just a still fragment of Ur's painful past. Still, forever. And even though Ur promised herself she would pull herself together, some wounds are just too deep to seal.

"Okay.", he smiled back at her, and climbed into bed.

If only he had known.

********

Still-born,

Ultear.