Dear Fangirl61322,
We regret to inform you that your test results came back, and you are not a potato. We went through each possibility and nothing came with a match. You, as a human, have 46 chromosomes, while potatoes have 48 chromosomes. While 50% of our human DNA does match that of a potato, that would not make you a potato. If 50% of matched DNA means that you could call yourself a potato, then every human would be called a potato, and that is not the case. You have zero physical resemblance of a potato, so we have no idea where this theory that you are a potato sprouted from. Also, potatoes are much smaller, on average 5.3 oz, and we highly doubt that you weigh close to 5.3 oz. Yet, if you do weigh close to that amount, you might want to get that checked by a doctor. In this day and age, it is easy to get sucked into the idea that anyone can be anything. You arguing that you are a potato is the same as someone arguing that they are a unicorn. It's just not logical. Whatever you believe has to be fixed. You are not a potato. You are a female human.
Sincerely,
The (HUMAN) Scientists at somethin somethin somethin University.
YOU ARE READING
Potato
RandomA scientist tells a potato that she is, in fact, not a potato, and things escalate quickly.