Chapter Eight

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EIGHT

(Present)

   Darcy walked into the room she's been in and out of constantly for the past three weeks of her being at rehab. It had been quite an experience being here, a good one at that. Darcy's met a few good souls with whom she knew she'd get along with just fine, had they met anywhere else but here. 

   Darcy was pretty much surprised that being at rehab had helped her so much in the sense that she's a whole lot happier now. The same couldn't be said about her battle with bulimia though, for Darcy realized that it was a whole lot harder to cope with, than she had ever thought. 

   "Morning" Alexa, her counselor greeted her warmly as she took a seat across from her. Darcy kept her eyes fixed on the non-visible point right above Alexa's head, to avoid eye contact. "You look a little rough today. Had a good night's rest though?" Alexa pondered aloud, reaching out to touch Darcy's forearm with concern. "I'm good" Darcy lied. Alexa knew better than to pry the answer out of Darcy, even if it was her job to do so. 

   "Okay then. Had breakfast yet?" Alexa asked this time. "Well no. I was thinking of grabbing something to eat, right after I dropped by here to see you" Darcy gave a smile. Alexa nodded, busy with her clipboard as usual. And then her head finally sprung up and gleefully she proposed, "You know what? Let's go grab some breakfast together! I'm famished." Darcy couldn't help but smile at the unusual proposal. "That's a first" she said, standing up to her feet. Alexa led the way out of her little office and simply said, "Well, there's always a first of something's in life, now isn't it?"  

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   Alexa grabbed a red tray from the big pile of it sitting there on the counter top, untouched. They had missed the early 8 AM crowd. Now the clock showed thirty-eight minutes past the dreaded early-bird mess of kids who were eager and hungry for their breakfast, only thirty minutes ago.  

   Alexa passed the red tray she held, into Darcy's hands. "Here you go" she said as Darcy added an obligatory "Thanks." Alexa proceeded on to pile her tray with toast, scones and coffee. Darcy did the same, except her toast was evenly spread with a generous helping of honey.  

   And then she thought of how Felix loved honey with his toast too. She thought of how she just might have fallen head over heels for him. But then there was Ryan too. And she'd be lying if he never did cross her mind more than an average of seventeen times a day. Not that she was counting though. 

   "Anything crossed your mind lately that you wanna share with me?" Alexa asked, sipping on a piping hot mug of dark coffee. "Felix. Ryan. And then some" Darcy could have said, but then she pursed her lips tightly together, shrugged and said nothing instead. Alexa nudged toward Darcy's barely touched brekkie.  

   "Everything okay Darce? Honestly. Nothing at all that you wanna tell me?" Alexa asked. Darcy grew slightly agitated and annoyed. "Anything that might begin with the word 'B'?" Alexa pointed out. At first Darcy thought she might've suggested 'B' for boys. But then she figured there was another word that begun with the letter 'B', the word that haunts her, taunts her to no end. The word she dreaded and despised how it might seem to define her right now. 

   "If it's bulimia you're talking about, then no. I haven't had an episode ever since I've been here. Clean for forty-nine days now" she offered with a warm smile, yet it hardly translated as one. But she didn't add the fact that every single night was a struggle for her. A struggle to rid herself of the insecurity that she was not at all obese and that she should not throw up on her food because clearly, it was just wrong.  

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