The Cripple and The Shieldmaiden II

// 15 //

  You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken when your heart's not open

She hated the traveling, now more than she ever did. It wasn't a way to escape her thoughts so they followed her allong the ride to the young prince Aethelred. The only distraction she had was little Raynor sitting before her in the saddle, and that wasn't even enough to escape from that one image ... that naked girl wrapped in sheets before that house she shared with Hvitserk. The whole party was rather quiet, a tensing that nobody really wanted to break. With Raynor with them they needed a moment to rest more often so when they did Torhild tried to put all her attention in the little man. She ran after him through the high grass, his giggling filled the air with a certain happyness. 'Raynor, where are you?' She asked payfull when he ducked away under the grass. Torhild let her fingers run over it while she walked, looking for him. He jumped up aside her, throwing himself on her and she felt down, laughing by the innocents in with his bleu eyes looked down to her.
'Did I scared you?' He asked excited.
'A little. Help me up, will you.' She smiled. He took her hand and pulled her up, not that he did anything but it was the thought that maked him happy. She took him up in her arms and he rested her forehead against his. 'You know how much I love you?' She asked him with a tender smile. He pulled his noice up against hers, laughed before he tightened the grip around her neck, embracing her.
'A lot.' He reacted. Torhild rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment.
'Indeed, a lot.' She repeated his words. When she looked aside Ivar was watching the both of them from on his chariot. Torhild her face flattened under his gaze before she slowly walked back to the others. She let Raynor out of her arms and he started running to Ubbe.
'You still angry?' Ivar asked when she passed his chariot, not planning on speaking to him. She stood still, waited a second before she slowly turned around.
'Yes.' She replied. Ivar looked in front of him, angry himself before he leaned over the egde of his chariot to her.
'I defended you, why are you angry with me?' He was really confused about it, so much she could see.
'Because you embarrassed me before the whole settlement. Everybody is looking at me, thinking I can't control my own husband because I'm in love with the father of my son. What will happen if my mother get word from this?' She asked in despair, not giving him really time to answer to that. 'Everything was perfect before I came back here. Raynor was happy, Hvitserk loved me and I felt myself again. And than I see you and,' she felt silent and turned around, laying her hand on her forehead in exhaustion of the situation.
'So it's my fault all of the sudden?' He asked sharp. 'You are the one coming here with my son. Didn't you think it wouldn't cause problems?'
'Why are we blaming each other all the time.' She shouted between her teeth. Her eyes traveled to Raynor for a moment who sat in Ubbe his neck. 'Ivar, you are not the only one who fell apart four years ago. I suffered the same when I lost you. But I can't do this anymore, fithing against you, for you. I keep defending you because you still mean so much for me but what is the point if you kept your heart locked up like that. I lost everything except for that boy, please don't take him away to. Marry your princess, be happy but please, let me and Raynor at peace.' She threw out her heart for him and didn't waith for a reply, she just walked away back to the others. He couldn't do that anymore, defending her and right after be angry again. All her life she knew where she stood with Ivar, she always could rely on his honesty, his feelings and now he was just chaos. And a heart that wasn't open couldn't love.

The last time she came to this kingdom she killed a king. Now she was coming back to talk with his son. The boy didn't saw his father die that day but sure he remembered her name. But Aethelred wasn't the only one she needed to face, Lord Edward, the son of the man Ivar bloodeagled would be there to, among other advisors and a whole lot of soldiers without a doubt. Her only defense was Raynor his innocents and the fact that Ivar had a hold over this kingdom. She didn't knew how until their horses walked in, vikings covering the walls between the other soldiers, crosses with nailed dead men as a reminder for who was the leader here, Ivar. She laid her hands before Raynor his eyes while they past that kind of horror, reminding her again how far Ivar really drifted off from reality. He struck fear right in this place, the people who saw him on that chariot walked away or looked down and he just sat there, autority and dominance spreading all around him.
'This is sick.' Ase whispered while looking up to the crosses. Torhild didn't say a thing until they arrived on a yard, a military force with vikings and christians awaithing them. Torhild dropped out of the saddle and took Raynor from of the horse, she crouched down before him.
'You only speak when I ask or say you to. This is dangerous ground, you listen to me, Ase or your uncle. Worst case senario,' she swallowed and looked over to Ivar. 'You go with Ivar. Do you understand?' She asked him. Raynor nodded confident and she smiled proud, pressing a kiss on his forehead before standing up again.
'Prince Aethelred is expecting you princess Torhild.' Somebody bow before her, throwing Ivar a quick look. Ubbe and another viking helped Ivar while Torhild followed the man inside, holding Raynor tight. Ase walked on the other side of the little boy. He was protected, he was protected by Kattegat most trained shieldmaidens. Two men pushed a door open, the same door she saw open much four years ago. And she entered just the same room. Normally she would find king Alethelwulf eating behind a table, now that table was filled with advisors like she thought. In the middle of all that just a little teenage boy, hardly wordy to be a king. On his right side was Lord Edward on his left an old angry looking man, must be Lord Ballard. They all were stunned by one thing, Raynor. The little boy, cloacked in his bleu favorit one had the attitude like his father, strong willed and hardly impressed.
'Prince Aethelred.' She bow before him, nodding politly to Edward and all the others. Ubbe and the other brought Ivar to the seat who was already arranged for him.
'Ivar,' Aethelred began before looking back to Torhild. 'Torhild.'
'Princess Torhild as a matter, soon queen I hope.' Ivar corrected him swiftly. Half that cansol didn't move under his word, only a few reacted with some impatient and angry glared, Lord Ballard rolled his eyes, Aethelred didn't replied, he looked down.
'I see you didn't come alone.' Edward began, looking down to little Raynor. The fact that Ubbe was with her raised also questions.
'This is Raynor, he is my son. I think you remember Ase and Ubbe.' She pointed the two of them before continuing. 'I'm not here to pick a fight, I'm just here to talk.'
'It's a little late for that.' Ballard hissed, looking over to Ivar who was a little amused by it all.
'Be glad I nailed them on a cross and not just blood eagle them before my gods. In this way they died in honor to your god, besides, they where useless anyway.' He shrugged with a smile. This wouldn't get anywhere if he was around telling jokes over crossed people with Raynor around.
'While you where away this man changed this kingdom into slavery,' one of the advisors pointed out. 'and we all have to kneel to his wishes because he wants to prevent Aethelred to take the throne until you half christian woman came back.'
'Be very carefull of what you are gonna say next,' Ivar intterupted the man. He leaned a little forward in his chair and Torhild saw the focus Raynor laid on his father, waiting of what would come next. 'I'm maybe a cripple but I can get in ways to you, you wouldn't even see coming. She is a daughter of the great King Ecbert, she is the only living daughter of the great king Ecbert. Treat her a little to it.' It was a full warning and the man only nodded. Torhild looked aside to Ivar who just gave her a short gaze before she took a new breath.
'I didn't come here to take that throne and scare you away, or put you into slavery. I came here to see that my people are equally treated, the vikings and the christians for that matter. I never did something wrong, I just handled in what was doing me wrong.' She reminded them friendly. Edward inhaled a lot of breath but didn't let it out for a short time. When he did he only nodded for himself. 'It's better to handle me than him,' she pointed to Ivar. 'trust me when I say I will try to make things right again.' Torhild smiled softly. She looked to Aethelred and only to him.
'You must be tired.' He said in a wave of hospitality, to get away from the situation. Torhild smiled and nodded, looking down to Raynor.
'Yes we are.'
'Lead them to their rooms, you are our guests here, you are protected. We speak further in the morning.' He annouchned with the little confident he still had. A few servants came in action and Torhild bowed to the people around Aethelred before she followed them.

Raynor loved the rooms, he jumped on the dubble sized bed and threw with the pillows. Torhild looked over her shoulder when somebody knocked on the door. For her safty Ase slept in the same room as her. Torhild opened the door and smiled to Ubbe. He looked aside her to Raynor who still was jumping. 'At least someone has fun.' He smiled loving.
'Don't you miss your childeren?' She asked him curious. Ubbe rested his body in the doorway and shook his head.
'I know they are good with Margrethe and the others. My task is to keep him happy, and you.' With that last one he looked aside to her, trying to figure out her emotions. Torhild kept her eyes on Raynor and shrugged.
'I don't know what to do.' She spook her fear out loud, slowly looking back to the man who always had advise, who always kept her save and was one of her most dearest friends.
'Hvitserk went out of line. I'm surpriced he didn't do it before, what only says that he loves you Torhild.'
'I can't just forgive him. I didn't loose that child to taunt him, it broke my heart to. Why are all those men thinking it is all about them?' She asked herself out loud.
'I think we aren't talking about Hvitserk anymore.' Ubbe guessed. Torhild looked aside, not knowing what to say. If she had to lash out with every move that broke her heart she would done a lot, but she didn't. She never worked things out like they did. Ivar killed to heal his broken heart and Hvitserk took another woman to his bed, like it would solve everything. 'He will regret his choise, he wants you back, I'm sure of that. Hvitserk loves you to much for this.'
'I can't just take him back like nothing happened.'
'No, but you have to think of Raynor. In his eyes Hvitserk is his father.'
'So I need to put my broken heart aside, live with him for the happiness of my child.' She repeathed his advise.
'I never said it would be easy.' He laid his hand over her shoulder and pulled her closer. Torhild rested her head against his shoulder and tried to relax for a moment. 'I'm sorry you lost the baby.' He whispered, placing a kiss against her temple.
'Thank you Ubbe.' She forced a smile on her lips when he pulled back. He gazed over to Raynor again before walking away. Torhild turned back to Raynor who laid on the bed, tired of the journey. Torhild tucked him under, stroking her fingers over his forehead, carresing his cheek. 'Sleep now.' She gestured him. He pulled the sheets up to just under his chin and looked up to her.
'Are you and father fighting?' He asked with a small voice. Torhild shook her head.
'We are fine.'
'Why isn't he here then?'
'Somebody needs to take care of the settlement.' She whispered, pulling her hand back when she saw his eyes slowly closing.
'I miss father.' He jawned.
'I miss him to sweetheart.'

Lyrics on top and hidden in the first part are dedicated to the lovely song from Madonna (Frozen) that gave me soooo much inspiration for the struggle between Ivar and Torhild. Like that song was made for them.
Have a few days off, expect a lot of updating here and in the other stories.