The Cripple and The Shieldmaiden II

// 8 //

Torhild looked down over a map of England. It had nine kingdoms, being Aethelwulf's kingdom the largest of them all. Ivar had that kingdom in it's power but for Torhild to rise to the throne they needed the support of all nine the lands and for now they all, except for one, supported the young king Athelred. 'You scared them, didn't you?' Ubbe laughed to his brother. Torhild looked up to Ivar but he was avoiding her, just like he did for some days now.
'They listen, don't they.' He fired back, with that attidute like he got power over it all. He wasn't so agressive with Ubbe as he was with Hvitserk and somewhere Torhild was a little glad he still accepted at least one brother.
'If I go to every kingdom myself, listen to them they maybe want to listen to what I have to say.' Torhild suggested. She wanted to avoid the violence, especially with Raynor here. But Ivar being Ivar he always wanted to do it the hard way, causing bloodshed along the way. He didn't had to say that for her to read it in his eyes.
'Young Gregor from the northen kingdom will support us with some men. He knows the lands, the others. He could advice us while we travel to the other kingdoms.' Halfdan went in on Torhild her suggestion.
'Can we trust him?' Hvitserk asked a little concerned.
'He is Christian, you can't truts a Christian.'
'You maybe not but if we want to bring Torhild higher we need to trust them.' Ubbe protested on a kind way against his brother. Ivar curled his lip in a sigh of anger but didn't say much in reply. Torhild looked over her shoulder to Raynor who was sleeping on the throne, all curled up, it fitted perfectly.
'We can't go with a large force, they would see it as a force of agression.' Halfdan said.
'I go alone, give me ten men and a couple of men from the other kingom and it should work if I have the correct information from Gregor.' Torhild shugged.
'No.' Ivar and Hvitserk said on the exact same time. It was like that ticking timebom from a few days ago all over again, the situation tensed in a heartbeat. 'I'm not letting you run of to ruine my accomplished. If you go, I go with you.'
'You scared them Ivar, I would make it better.' She protested against his words.
'Than I come with you to.' Hvitserk reacted, giving his younger brother a sharp look.
'Who will take care of Raynor then?' Ubbe asked. He wasn't really helping his brothers to get out of this without starting to fight.
'You should stay with Raynor Hvitserk.' Torhild turned to him.
'No, his mother should stay with him. You said it yourself back home that you didn't want him to grew up motherless.' Hvitserk protested. He wasn't very often angry but now she saw some of that dangerous Ragnar blood boiling up.
'You now what, me and Hvitserk go.' Ivar smiled arrogant to his older brother.
'You kill him somewhere along the way.' Torhild shook her head.
'Probably.'
'You are serious condidering killing me because I got your girl and child?' Hvitserk challenged him. Torhild didn't wanted to look to Ivar, she was not ready to see how he was looking at her husband right know.
'We are not taking this to the next level.' Ubbe warned the both of them. It was silent for a very long time. Torhild looked to Hvitserk, waited until his shoulders relaxed a little. Ivar hadn't replied but when she finally looked at him his eyes where flaming, ready to spitt something out that he would regret afterwards. So she stepped in before that could happen.
'I will go with Ivar. If he doesn't trust me fine and it's a good thing that there will be some distance between the two of you.' She fell silence and looked at Hvitserk. 'You stay with Raynor, he needs you and I need to know he is safe. Okay?' Hvitserk only nodded, not looking up at her so she turned her head back to Ivar. 'Satisfied?' She asked him. He looked up, his temper brewing her inner fear.
'Hardly.'
'You don't get more, live with it. Halfdan will come, Ubbe and Hvitserk guard the settlement. Ase, pick out a small group, we ride by first light.' She commanded coldly before standing up. All this dominance here in the room was to much for her. She walked over to the throne and picked up Raynor his sleeping body, walking out without saying another thing.

She hardly slept, gazing at the ceiling, not knowing what to do really. When she turned her head to Hvitserk he was awake to, still angry apparently. 'Are you angry on me or your brother?' Torhild asked him carefull. Hvitserk pushed his body straight and turned to Torhild.
'Why are you doing this Torhild? Walking after him? Putting yourself in danger?' he asked her directly. Torhild studied his face, from the stern line in his forehead to the little conflix in his eyes.
'They need to see me, not some messenger. If I want to lead their people than they need to see me before them. I don't trust Ivar to be here alone with you or Raynor and I don't want to take Raynor with me for the danger I could put him in to.' She explained calm. Hvitserk could be quite quick tempered if he had something in his head like this.
'Didn't you say that you felt different? That you think you're pregnant again?' And there it was. Torhild closed her eyes before she pushed her body up and sat right in front of him.
'Maybe yes. What if I promise you that if there is battle of even a sigh of danger I remove myself, come right back here to you. You realize that I have to do this?'
'Yes, I know.' He squeezed his nasal bone and looked down. Torhild smiled tenderly and pulled his head back up so she could look at him again.
'I always felt guilty for not giving you a child of your own. I promise you, I will guard whatever little life there is inside with everything I got. Please believe me.' She begged him softly. He looked at her and stroke a strand of dark hair out of her face.
'I believe you. I wish I could come, only to protect you from Ivar.'
'Believe me when I say that Ase will do a fine job in that.' She answered him right away. Hvitserk chuckled a little and it was like the ice was broking. Torhild pulled him closer and placed her lips on his. He groaned a little, kneeling for her affection and laying her down on her back again. He laid his flat hand on her stomach and she pulled back a little.
'Guard it well love.'
'I'm not even sure if I'm really pregnant.'
'I hope so.' He smiled, spreading all that warmth through her body.
'Keep Raynor safe. If anything should happen bring him back to Kattegat, place him under Björn and my mothers army. He will always be safe there, don't look back at me.'
'Are you going away?' A little voice asked. Torhild turned her head and looked to little Raynor.
'Come here.' Hvitserk gestured. The boy ran to the bed, crawled up and carefully sat down between his mother and Hvitserk. Torhild stroke his dark hair and cupped his face with one hand.
'I need to go for a while but I will come back. In the meantime you need to listen to your father, grow all strong and big.' Torhild spoke to him. His bleu eyes, so intens, traveled from her to Hvitserk and he nodded.
'Are you gonna stay away as long as father does?' He asked a little sad.
'No, Raynor, no.' She pulled him against her chest, pressed her lips on his head. 'I could never stay that long away. Hardly a week, maybe a little longer. I'm back before you know it.' She reassured him. Torhild her eyes went searching for those of Hvitserk, he only smiled tender, laying his hand on Torhild her cheek, running his thumb over it.
'I'm proud of my queen.' He said softly. Torhild already felt the heartpain, leaving the two most important boys in her life to go with the who was important for her years ago.

Riding a horse with a dress wasn't comfortable so she changed in her shield maiden clothes, her hair fully braided, her attitude back to sharp. She putted her axe and sword in her belt and when she looked up she saw Ivar looking at her, really looking. He didn't turned away his gaze when she walked over to his chariot. But before she could say something Ase walked over with two horses and the man she assambled. 'Ready?' She asked. Torhild nodded and turned around to Ubbe and the others, who walked over.
'Don't do stupid things.' She warned the two brothers. Raynor stood between the two of them, looking sad.
'You have the stupid one with you.' Hvitserk forces a fake smile on his lips. Ivar didn't react on it, he just looked straight before him.
'Be safe Torhild, for all our sakes.' Ubbe said before he embraced her sortly.
'If I don't come back within the month you bring Hvitserk and Raynor home, good?' She whispered in his ears. He pulled back and nodded shortly. Torhild gave him a thankfull smile and steppeda side to Hvitserk.
'Don't get all angry like your little brother.' She teased him. His face relaxed and he pulled her closer in for a kiss, a kiss she enjoyed every bit.
'Bring me back a crown.'
'Maybe I bring you back more.'
'Be safe, the both of you.' He said with a little gesture to her stomach. She smiled and crouched down before little Raynor.
'Keep your father and uncle out of trouble.' Torhild grinned. Raynor giggled and looked up to the two brothers before he nodded strongly. She didn't wanted to make the goodbye any longer, for his sake and hers so she stood up and walked over to Ivar his chariot where Ase stood with her horse. But just as she wanted to pull herself in the saddle, Raynor called out and ran over. Torhild turned around and catched him in her arms.
'Don't go.' He sobbed. She felt her own tears already coming. In the past four years she never leaved him alone longer than a day and now she would ride of for who knows how long.
'I will come back, I promise. But I need to do this.' She whispered in his ears. He pulled himself a little back and looked at her, tears running down his cheeks. Ivar crossed his arms over the egde of the chariot, closed in on the both of them. He wasn't looking at her but to Raynor. Torhild could only watch to him while everything seemed to change in his eyes in that moment.
'I will keep her safe.' Ivar promised him. He maked Raynor feel better, the little boy nodded and Ivar looked at her.
'Thank you.' She whispered. Ivar didn't say a thing back but his eyes said it all. Did she finally got some humanity back in him? No, it was all Raynor this time. Maybe that boy would crack the softness right open in his father after all.