The Cripple and The Shieldmaiden II

// 33 //

'Mother look.' Raynor pointed. Torhild smiled softly, following his finger that lead towards the lands she would recognize everywhere ... home. After months and a long journey over water they were finally back home and that didn't only cause excitement with Raynor. Ubbe was extremely happy to, he would see his wife back, his two children. Everybody looked with a smile, everybody except for Ivar. He embraced the edge of the boat and looked focused, like he was already preparing for battle. She knew that battle wouldn't be against actually soldiers, it would be against Lagertha. Torhild her mother hadn't seen Ivar for over four years. She warned Torhild and here they were, back together, already both knowing that Lagertha wouldn't be pleased with it. Floki stood beside him, his hand resting on Ivar his shoulder, giving a good squeeze before he smiled towards her, mysterious but overly joyful. Torhild turned her gaze back to the land that came closer any minute. She saw people getting together at the docks. She had to hold on to Raynor for not jumping into the water to all his friends. In the settlement he hardly had somebody of his age and here they were all back, grown, just like he did.
'Welcome back home Ivar.' Ubbe smiled towards his younger brother. Torhild turned around, looking over to him but he wasn't smiling. Maybe in some way he was saddened of being back here, away from his rule and the power he had. He locked his blue eyes with hers and she tried to steady him with her calm look. But where on earth could you tame Ivar the Boneless?

When de boat kicked the dock, Björn jumped as first out, helping Torhild. Raynor climbed out on his own but he didn't run away like she expected him to do, he stayed put, looking towards Ivar. He had his wooden axe in his belt, cloaked in blue like the way he left. But he was so much different now, he looked fiercer. A little boy from four looked like he was ready to fight. She would never forget how he started that fire, how he looked, how he was like Ivar in some way. Ubbe and Hvitserk helped Ivar out, being him to stubborn to accept their help they left him behind on the docks. Ubbe ran to his two children and wife. And then was there that little girl standing aside Lagertha ... Ase her daughter. She was looking, so small and tender, two years and not a single parent left. Torhild shifted her look to her mother who was done greeting Björn and looked to her before she looked down to Freya. Torhild walked over, forcing a smile on her lips. 'She didn't made it.'
'Did she died honorable?' Lagertha asked while looking down to Freya.
'Yes, Ase saved my life.'
'Valhalla will be graced by her presents.' Lagertha said with a respectful look up to the sky. Torhild followed that look up to the sky, feeling emotional in the memories of Ase. 'I'm glad you made it back home daughter.' She followed, stroking her hand over Torhild her cheek. Torhild nodded, resting her head onto Lagertha her shoulder.
'Me to.' She whispered. All the pressure of last months would release themselves here, in the comforting surroundings of Kattegat, it was only a matter of time. When she pulled herself out of her mother's embrace the distinct sound of Ivar dragging his body forward pulled her around.
'Ivar the Boneless.' Lagertha greeted him distant. Torhild looked towards him and Raynor and she saw her mother swallow when she saw the strong resembling. 'Four years didn't change much.' She tried to be polite, but it was Ivar, he still held her responsible for his mother's dead.
'No, still want to kill you.' He said, sarcastic, dragging himself aside her, following Floki. Everybody was watching him for nobody ever thought to have him back in this heart of Kattegat. Lagertha only smiled before turning her attention to little Raynor.
'You have so much grown since last time I saw you.' She smiled wide.
'Mother is a queen now, I'm a prince.' He reacted joyful. 'And father taught me how to fight, and I could ride his chariot.' Raynor spilled everything he possible could say about his adventures in England. But it all came to the same thing, he saw Ivar as his father to. Lagertha slowly looked towards Ivar who was already half on his way to the great hall.
'We need to talk.' Lagertha reacted, stroking her fingers through Raynor his hair before turning back to her daughter.
'Offcourse mother.' Torhild bow softly, looking how her mother walked away, getting all the high details from Björn. Torhild looked towards little Freya who stood lost within all the Vikings who walked over the docks. 'Freya.' Torhild called out to her. The girl turned around and walked over, Hvitserk and Elisabeth following.
'Where is my mother?' Freya asked, confused. Torhild crouched down, closing her eyes while she took the little girl her hand between hers. But she couldn't get the words out. How did you tell a two year old that her mother was dead, just like her father was already dead. When she felt a hand on her back she opened her eyes, looking aside to Hvitserk.
'I will take care of her.' He suggested. Torhild nodded, closing her eyes for a short moment to let the tears go while Hvitserk took Freya with him. Raynor embraced her and she smiled within all her sadness for the loss of Ase. How much she wanted Ase back, how much she wanted Ase to see this all over again.

The children were afraid of Ivar, everybody was afraid of him. Ivar was used on dealing with those English soldiers, now he had to deal with the people he knew from four years ago. They all looked at him with such a disgust, already afraid that he would claim their wealth. And Torhild could see that he was already brewing on the inside. 'So you are a queen, I need to give my place away?' Lagertha asked. 'And apparently you found Ivar again along the way. You are married Torhild, to Hvitserk.' She went further. Torhild looked down, not ready to have this kind of a discussion.
'And I was pregnant again, lost the baby to give you that crown.' She fired back. Her brother, who didn't even know about it looked shocked.
'I'm sorry to hear that.' Lagertha said compassioned.
'I'm not gonna re life all those memories now I'm finally back home. I had a really hard time, Ivar pulled me through, he gave me the crown I denied.' You tried to defend the one person everybody so deeply hated around here.
'And did he gave you this crown to?' Lagertha asked, pointing towards her own throne, the throne she used already for years, from with she ruled more than only Kattegat.
'No, I gave her that.' Björn came in between. She felt naked all alone in front of her mother, her brother backing her up meant a great deal to her. 'She deserved it. She handled a lot over there mother, she is worthy to become a queen. And she doesn't need to explain you everything, you should have come if you wanted that.' He went further, turning to Torhild and nodding her that she could leave. Torhild smiled thankfully, turning around to leave when her mother pointed her judgement somewhere else.
'And you Hvitserk, brought a Saxon girl.'
'Mother,' Torhild began, slowly turning back towards her mother. Everybody looked at her, Harald, Halfdan, the important leading man of the heathen army, Elisabeth, they were all looking because they knew how strong her voice sounded and what it meant. 'there is one thing you should know. It this great hall there sit people loyal to me. They followed me into battle, didn't question my motives. They were loyal to Ivar; They are my people and if you think us being back here will gain you more power than you are wrong. I can claim that throne, I have an army now, don't think I won't use it.' She warned her mother.
'And if you don't believe her than take it from me. Like you said, I didn't changed a bit.' Ivar followed with that sadistic smile on his lips. Her mother lifted her chin, impressed, looking towards Björn who just crossed his arms before his chest and looked down. She looked at everybody but there was nobody protesting against her words, what only meant she was right.
'Fine.' She whispered.
'Don't touch them, not even Elisabeth.' Torhild bowed politely, turning around and walking out. She loosened her fists, stretching her fingers before, not knowing she was so heat up about it. And she had just arrived.

Floki offered his fishing cabin at the water to stay for the time being. The same cabin she and Ivar stayed so often when they were children. She laid in the sand on her stomach, looking over the water while her fingers made soft movements through the sand. 'It seemed like yesterday that we made strategic plans here in the sand, the same spot.' Ivar pulled her out of thoughts. She looked aside to him, how he crawled closer.
'Our innocents is destroyed by now.' She smiled, looking back to the sand.
'I never was.'
'No, you weren't.' She whispered. When he laid aside her there was nothing more than just gazing to the horizon for a moment.
'You seem more troubled here then you were in England.' He noticed. Torhild smiled softly, feeling her inside squeeze together by the fact he was so sensitive for her emotions. She looked aside to him, nodding on his words.
'A lot has changed since then. I feel caged here, always watched.'

'Then you know how I feel.' He reacted softly. He lifted his hand and she felt his touch against her cheek. Torhild closed her eyes, absorbing the feeling he gave her. She turned on her back, laying so close to him that his arm rested on her chest, his head hovering over hers. 'We can go with Floki.' He suggested, stroking the strains of dark hair out of her face.
'Can you go to such a peaceful place?' She asked curious.
'Yes, I would follow you everywhere. I may not look like I need to peace but I have a lot of catching up to do with you.'
'Four years.' She smiled innocent. She would love time apart from the violence, the familiar face, only to clear her head and to spend some time with him and Raynor. Reunite the family bound they supposed to have four years ago.
'Björn will take good care of the army, your mother of Kattegat, nobody would miss you.' He went further, convincing her to come with him. It was like he already made up his mind about it.
'They certainly won't miss you.' She chuckled. He tilted his head, rolling his eyes.
'Torhild, please, come with me.' He begged.
'Would you go without me?'
'No.' He answered right away, without hesitation. She lifted her hand, stroking the bald parts of his head while looking at it.
'We should go, not only for me, you and Raynor but,' she felt silent and his eyes grew confused for a moment until he followed her hand to her stomach.
'You are with child?' He asked.
'Maybe, felt different, it's a little to soon to be sure but,' she smiled when she saw that sparkle returning in his bleu confident eyes. He lowered his head, kissing her gently. He didn't kiss her like that since that day on the hilltop, where they made love above the kingdom they had plans to attack for.
'I won't fail you.' He whispered, trailing his nose over her cheek.
'I know you won't. Don't tell Hvitserk, he doesn't need to know. Surly not after my mistakes on giving him a child.' She said softly. He looked back and nodded, sifting his weight so he could press a kiss on her belly.
'I will treasure this.' His happiness was so overwhelming that she almost started to cry again, grabbing for his neck and hugging him.
'Let's go with Floki.' She agreed. He chuckled, pulling her back and looking down on her.
'You are always the light in the dark for me, the four years you weren't there I felt like I was drowning. Know that you have my heart Torhild.'
'As you have mine.' She replied back, kissing him again, his hand already resting and caressing her belly.

Torhild helped Raynor on the chariot of Ivar. Ivar took the reins on a proper manor before he helped Raynor in front of him, safe and sound. 'You sure you want this?' Björn asked as he held her horse steady aside him.
'You did it to. After everything I need this brother.'
'Then I will make sure everything here is in place for your return.' He bowed like she was the queen of all. She was, only she refused to act like it. She hugged her brother and slapped him soft against his cheek.
'Thank you brother.' She smiled, turning towards Hvitserk and Elisabeth, little Freya stood in between them, sadden but at ease. 'Take good care of her.' Torhild whispered while Hvitserk pulled her in an embrace.
'I will. Don't hesitate to life Torhild, you deserve that much. I'm sorry I couldn't give you that.'
'You did, don't doubt to love again, you deserve that much to.' Torhild replied, looking aside to Elisabeth who forced a smile on her lips. Torhild crouched down to the little girl, pulling out of the bracelet she had around her wrist. 'Hold on to this, your mother once gave that to me, I'm giving it to you now.' She softly said while giving the bracelet. The girl looked at it, before she softly nodded and Torhild placed a kiss against her forehead. 'Don't ever forget your mother little Freya, she was more than all of us can combine.' She ended her thoughts of Ase.
'Will you make me as good as my mother?' Freya asked when Torhild stood up again. She looked down, swallowing the sadness through her troat.
'When time is right. I will, I promise.' She answered the little girl before walking back to her brother, pulling herself in the saddle. Floki turned around to her, asking for permission to start the travel.
'Come back a queen Torhild.' Hvitserk smiled.
'I will.' Torhild smiled.
'Take care of her brother.' Björn said on his turn to Ivar. Ivar turned around, looking from Björn to Hvitserk and finally to Torhild.
'I will.' He promised. He kicked the reins against the horse and followed Floki. Torhild her horse followed automatically, she turned around in the saddle and looked to Kattegat. She felt heartbroken to leave the people she loved behind, but she hardly felt something for leaving the place. After England there was always more to conquer, that needed her but for now she needed to rest. She needed to clear her mind but most of all she had to enjoy her son and the man she loved. Torhild wouldn't be who she is now without him, he made her strong, he made her a queen. That queen would rise someday and by all the gods, let's fear a queen that is supported by the most fearless Viking leader, Ivar the Boneless.

The End