The Cripple and The Shieldmaiden II

// 31 //

It was good to be back, to have the rest she so much needed. Torhild never thought that this settlement would feel so home alike. She craved after something to settle her thought, her confused heart and this place brought her that. She fell asleep without any trouble; Raynor curled up aside her in a strong embrace. She didn't dream, it was all black in her sleep, the exhaustion from past days had a least some positivity. And even when she waked up somewhere in the middle of the night she wasn't scared. Past days all turned around the tension from battle. She needed to be alert, ready to fight and all that tension caught up with her. Even the loss of Ase caught up with her, pushing her into sleep. Somebody waked her up, placing a kiss against her bare shoulder. She didn't had to turn around to know who it was. 'Where is Raynor?' She asked with a sleepy voice.
'Hvitserk took him to give you some more rest.'
'And why are you waking me up then?' She asked while turning on her back, looking to those calm blue eyes. He seemed older in all this peace, mature.
'I couldn't resist.' He whispered, bringing his head closer. Torhild closed her eyes, feeling the little pressure of his lips against her. For a second there was nothing more than that soft touch before she opened her lips and he started kissing her. This kiss was so different from all the others, he wasn't doing it to prove himself and she wasn't despaired to need it. The slow pace made the relation she had with Ivar so much stronger, she loved him. She lifted her hand and stroke his skin, feeling every bit underneath her touch like it was the very first time she touched him. When he pulled back his nose trailed aside hers before opening his eyes again.
'This is worth waking up to.' Torhild whispered with a soft smile.
'I knew you would say that.'
'This is different, right?' She asked a little confused. He turned around on his back and Torhild sat up, looking aside to him.
'You need to figure out what you want Torhild.' He said. Torhild laid down again, in the curve of his arm, her head resting on his chest. It was the first time she actually waked up aside him without any drama, witch a kiss and those blue eyes that didn't showed any sign of violence or anger.
 'What do you want?' She asked. He started chuckling and shook his head.
'Last time I wanted something you ran off.'
'You pushed me away.' She corrected him. But he was right; she needed to figure out what to do. There was still Elisabeth her brother, Aethelred, a throne that could be hers.
'I'm not queen material.' She said after a little silence. And that jumped his eyebrows up, surprise. Torhild sat up, looking over her shoulder to him, his fingers stroke her back and Torhild rested her head on her pulled up knees. 'Can you arrange a meeting?'
'You made your mind up already?'
'No, I just can't make this decision alone.' She answered, pulling up the sheets a little closer.
'Why would you think about their opinion, it's your life.' He protested.
'Because I'm not as selfish as certain others.' Torhild smiled with a promising look towards him. Yes, he would know it was him she was talking about. He pushed himself up on his arms and bowed his head.
'I will arrange a meeting for the queen.'
'Stop it.'
'Put on a nice dress.' He commanded nonchalant, like he was the king, pulling himself from the bed outside. Torhild looked at him crawling out and shook her head, a little smiling about his inner joy and happiness.

She putted on a nice dress. War was over, she could be herself again. And because a lot was depending in next few days she wanted to stand there as the queen her mother send her to be. Her strong color was black so she choose black again. When she walked out Hvitserk was awaiting her with Raynor at his side. 'There you are!' He shouted, jumping up in her arms. She smiled, hugging him tight while looking to Hvitserk.
'You look good.' He noticed. Torhild placed a kiss against Raynor his temple and putted him back down to turn all her attention to her husband.
'Some good sleep does miracles.' She bowed politely. She pointed towards the great hall where she knew a meeting was arranged but Hvitserk stopped her by laying his hand on her arm. She couldn't remember the last time he touched her.
'I'm going back to Kattegat after this. I know there isn't a we anymore but I don't want to say goodbye fighting either.'
'It was never a fight Hvitserk.' She softly reacted. Raynor ran over to Marion so she had Hvitserk alone for a minute. She turned around to him and looked up to his handsome face. She never ever complained about him, she loved him, adored him and yet again Ivar came in the middle of everything. 'If you just can forgive me.' Torhild whispered. His hand still laid on her arm, fingers trailing down over it. She lifted her hand and he folded his fingers through hers.
'I care about you Torhild. You broke my heart and I broke your trust. You love another and I just can't stay around you. I forgive you, it was equally my fault as it was yours.' It took a lot from him to say those words. Torhild looked up from their hands and closed her eyes, relieved by his words. She made her hand loose and wrapped them around him in an embrace. He laid his hands around her back and pulled her closer. 'You are everything to me, never forget how much I loved you.' He whispered into her ear. It felt like a real goodbye, she felt the tears coming up again, wishing that she never came here to begin with.
'I hope you find somebody  equally  to me, who can love you even more.'
'Nobody can match a queen like you.' He pulled back with some kind of a smile. Torhild wiped away a lost tear and smiled a little to.
'You thing I should do it?' She asked. He nodded towards the great hall before walking. Torhild looked for Raynor who just ran inside followed by Marion and Ubbe.
'No, you are fit to be a queen but not here. This place only brings you disaster.' He answered in his honest opinion. And he was right.

Prince Aethelred and Lord Gregor sat kneeled down before the throne in the great hall. Torhild walked in with Hvitserk and ignored the looks she got while walking up. She didn't took the throne, she just stood aside her brother. Ivar sat on the two stairs before the throne, comfortably looking with that dead stare to both the traitors. Lord Edward leaned against the second throne while Ubbe and Hvitserk placed themselves on a table, Raynor between them. Elisabeth a little in the corner with Marion. Halfdan and Harald, every important member, Christian and Viking was here. The only empty spot was that of Ase. And in that moment it hurted so much. 'I gathered you all here to discuss the further future of this land. England doesn't love me, that is quite obvious and still I want the best for it.' She fell silent and looked aside to Lord Edward. 'How looks a peaceful England in your eyes?' She asked him. The man sunk down on the edge of the throne and looked towards the two prisoners.
'I see a good England with a Viking queen and a Christian king, or at least some Christian loyalty in support. If we change everything to both the believes I think this can work out.' He announced. Torhild looked over to Hvitserk who softly shook his head.
'Ivar?'
'As long as the queen is happy and we get to settle our settlements down here is doesn't really matter who rules.' He reacted right away, like usual in his own defense and opinion.
'Brother.' Torhild looked up to Björn.
'I think you should become a queen, mother wanted you to and you would make a large legacy.'
'Do you even listen to the gods brother, don't you see they torn her apart for being here?' Ivar came in her defense. Torhild closed her eyes and shook her head.
'She should go. This isn't her place.' Hvitserk came right in the middle of the argument, defending Ivar his opinion in the process. 'And as her husband I have more say in it than all of you.' He pointed out. He didn't do her harm with that, he was helping her. Torhild smiled thankfully.
'She should follow her heart.' Marion said from where she stood.
'If I go, who stays?' Torhild asked. Everybody looked towards Ivar. Off course, he ruled here for over four years before she came back to claim a throne. But glares went to Halfdan to, curious about what he was planning on doing.
'I'm gonna follow my brother into new adventures.' He announced on his turn.
'I think we have two choices here. Or Torhild stays and becomes the queen to rule all, or she goes and leaves England to take care of itself again.' Lord Edward announced. It was as simple as that. 'And I truly think that is it for Torhild to choose, nobody would misjudge you if you choose wrong.' He said with a charming smile.
'Is there a wrong choose?'
'For everybody it is somewhere.' He nodded.
'What is she wants to come back, what if,' Ivar turned, pulling himself up to the throne, claiming the place like he usual does. 'what if she wants that crown over three years?' He asked with that scary authority in his voice again.
'She can always challenge the throne, she is and stays a daughter of Ecbert. I imagine that you would follow in support?' Lord Edward laughed. Torhild looked to the young Aethelred, scared about his own faith while he was sitting there gazing at the wooden ground underneath him.
'If I go you become the king until that boy is at age.' Torhild said, looking aside to Edward. His jaw dropped open, confused.
'You want me to become king?'
'I trust nobody more for the job then you.' Torhild nodded. And clearly she wasn't the only one, others nodded to.
'I'm honored truly but I'm not sure,'
'Offcourse you can.' Ubbe interrupted him. Lord Edward was the only Christian that got so along with the Vikings around him, his loyalty was never to be questioned.
'Mother should be a queen!' Raynor shouted. Torhild looked up to her son and smiled.
'So you can become a prince?' She guessed. His heavy nodding brought some laughter into the room, lighting the heaviness of the situation.
'We vote?' Harald suggested. In all of that she missed Ase, she missed that young woman her council more than she missed Lagertha back home.
'I will make my decision tomorrow.' Torhild said, anxious to get out all of the sudden. Ivar looked up to her but she ignored his gaze while she walked down the two stairs and left the building.
'Torhild.' Torhild turned around to Lady Elisabeth. 'What will happen to my brother?' She asked hesitating. Torhild smiled softly, nodding her head like she all of the sudden remembered.
'Your family, your choose. Punish him like you see fit, or do nothing. I won't choose that for you and I won't judge either.' Torhild said gently.
'Thank you.' Elisabeth stepped forward embracing her. Torhild froze for a moment before she took on the embrace as a sign of friendship. 'I would understand every choose you make.' She bowed deeply before walking back into the great hall. Torhild looked up to the building, questioning her every move again. So much divided opinions and nobody with the clear answer to the question. Should she become a queen or not?

The question, what do you think Torhild should do? Becoming a queen or not?