Complicated Love (Phan)

Time To Tell The Truth

Dan's P.O.V.
Shaking. Palms sweating. Hair curling. Lips chapped beneath my clenched teeth. Anxiety flows through my veins, cementing my blood till I can't move a muscle. My lungs hurt and feel flattened, like I can't breath. Ironically, I'm chocking on the thing that's supposed to keep me alive-air.

"Breath Dan. Breath. Just, let it all out." His voice soothes me, but it doesn't take the pain away completely. "Look at me." When I don't, he takes my chin in his hand and turns me towards him. "Breath. In and out. In. And out." No matter how hard I try, the world darkens still, covering everything in a thin, hazy blanket. But when I feel his lips on mine, the vice around my body releases itself as I gain control over it once more. He pulls back, mere inches away from me, his blue eyes staring deep into mine. "I'm here for you," he whispers, gently moving to push away a stray curl that's blocking my eyesight. Cupping my face, he kisses me once more, till he moves farther away from me, leaving me as breathless as before. But only this time, the feeling is familiar and welcoming.

The camera sits pointed at us, waiting for something, anything to happen. Phil reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing it tight. Heart pounding deep in my chest, I watch as he leans forward and turns it on. It's now or never. After this, there will be no turning back.

"He-hello everyone. Um..." I fall silent and glance at him for a second, and he nods for me to continue, a small smile forming on his perfect face. "We have something that we want to... to tell you guys, that's important. Uh..." Here comes the hard part. "We're gay." I pause, letting that sink for both us and our future viewers. "That feels so good to finally say that out loud." Phil laughs, agreeing with me.

"We know that this must be a complete surprise for you guys, but well, it's the truth, and you all deserve to hear and know the truth." Phil sounds so confident and comfortable, but I can see pure nerves and stress behind his mask. "We've both dated girls before. And well, kissed girls before...but it's with Dan that I've felt myself... falling in love with. Our love feels natural, not like the forced feeling I got from being with girls. They never could make me feel the way Dan makes me feel. I don't know if that's the same thing for you, but... that's how it... was... is... for me."

Blushing, I turn towards him and continue for him, each word getting harder and harder to get out and say out loud, for the world to hear. I know for a fact that Phil feels the same way. Same... same here... When I first saw you on YouTube, I was afraid to meet you. When I first met you, I was afraid to trust you. When I first trusted you, I was afraid to... kiss you, When I first... kissed... you... I was afraid to love you. But now that I love you... I'm afraid to... to lose you. And I did nearly lose you, but by some miracle, you decided to stay with me, even after I hurt you so much. I swear I'm not going to make those mistakes ever again, because if I do, I might lose you for real... and... I could never be happy again if that happened. I wouldn't be able to live this life I've been given, because...I can't live if you're not by my side." Phil starts crying, looking at me with such emotion that I breaks my heart and heals it at the same time. For the first time I can display my feelings for him without fear or regret of what other people will think. I need him to know how I feel, that I feel how he feels. Telling him that is much more powerful then just simply telling him that I love him. "You're everything to me. You're the everlasting sun, light, and warm in my life. I love you more then I can say, more then I'd ever be able to put into words." Before I can see it coming, I feel our mouths collide and lock with each other, as the world falls away till it's just the two of us. When it's over, we're both flushed and giddy, overwhelmed with what we're feeling inside, until we look back at the camera, realizing that it's still recording everything. Frozen, I try to think of something to say, but Phil beats me to it.

"Well um... uh... That's not it though. Um... Dan and I... got married!" he says, beaming, pulling our still linked hands up, showing our rings off as they lay on our fingers, glittering in the light of the sun.

The rest of the video passes by in a blur of kisses, and eye contact where we exchange our thoughts with each other, without having to open our mouths. It all falls into place, as our story unfolds, crystal clear and beautiful, despite all it's flaws. We start from the beginning, when we first met, up to now. Every secret comes tumbling out, till we've laid down our entire lives for our viewers to see. But the more we talk, the easier it gets to say what we want to say. By the time we're done recording, I'm exhausted.

"You were great bear," Phil tells me, as we lay on his bed, my head resting on his chest. I have to smile at the nickname, still loving it after all these years of hearing it.

"Phil, don't lie. I did nothing. It's you who were great. I... I really didn't know what to say, but you made it work."

"Dan... you know I love you right?" he asks after a moment of silence.

"I know. I love you too. If that's not obvious enough for you."

He's quiet for a moment, before replying. "I guess I've never really noticed."

"There you go, lying again. You know that it's bad to lie to your...husband," I tease, both of us laughing.

"Ok fine. Was I obvious enough too?"

"Yes, yes you were. My... husband." My heart continues on its rollercoaster of emotions, is time flittering like the wings of a hummingbird, way too fast for my liking. "I'm still not used to hearing that. That and having to call myself Dan Lester."

"It fits you... Mr. and Mr. Lester. It's perfect. Just like you."

"You don't know it, but I'm cringing so hard inside because you said that."

"What? It's true."

"Oh shut up... Ugh. Alright I'll admit it, you're perfect too."

"Aww thanks babe. Or should I say, Mr. Lester."

"Ok, ok, I get it by now. But... I have to admit I do like the sound of it."

"And I like the sound of me saying that you're mine."

I half manage to choke out a response before the butterflies fill up my stomach, taking away my power of speech. "I have to agree." We say no more as we both drift off into a peaceful sleep.

Hello all you wonderful people. I have some news for you... I'm gonna end this story soon. I feel like it's gotten to the point where I shouldn't extend it much longer. Now I know, some chapters are short, or are notes or tags, but I mean the actual story. After being stupidly indecisive for forever, I've decided that I will edit this story, once I get further along with my other ones. (Go check those out, if you want.) Anyways, I hope you guys will enjoy the rest of this story, all the way until the end.

Also, I wouldn't be updating my other stories till this one is done. I hate that I have to do this, but it gets hard to update all of them at once or near each other. They will be continued soon, once this story is over.

Happy Easter and see you all next update!