Inside My Head -Short poems

Just Me

Of course, I have this feeling,

The lies, the dreams, this reeling.

My life is dying,

The farther I go the more I'm trying.

Denying.

That my life is going nowhere.

Every day the same old thing, better be aware.

For if I'm aware, then I don't have to care.

Caring is what brings me down,

It breaks you without a sound.

Every day we have these thoughts, these feelings, each moment we try to figure out the meanings. I have done the thinking. There is no cure for my fragile upbringing, no one to teach me life, or how to combat strife. What about those things you said, maybe they were all in my head. Goading me, coaching me, my whole life long, becoming some constant droning song. Your words still echo and I can't stand the sound behind my eyes. It's taken me a thousand lies, a thousand tries to attempt to silence your keening cries. I did.

Now my head is empty, now it's just me.

The only lies here, are the ones I let you see.

The screaming is now my own,

My mind is not my home

I thought when you left that everything would be okay.

It's not, I've become my minds own prey.

Playing games, spiting names, over and under and over again.

I keep running, trying to escape myself, but I'll never make it ahead.

It seems that my inner demon is myself, I see it each night I lay down in bed.

Every day we have these thoughts, these feelings, each moment I try to figure out the meanings. I have done the thinking. There is no cure for my fragile upbringing, no one to teach me life, or how to combat strife. What about those things I said, maybe they were all in my head. Goading me, coaching me, my whole life long, becoming some constant droning song. My words still echo and I can't stand the sound behind my eyes. It's taken me a thousand lies, a thousand tries to attempt to silence my keening cries.

I can't deny, it's all been me, this whole time. It's time for me to stop thinking, to stop bringing my mind to the brink. It's all just me. It's always me. Inside my head. It's just me.