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7 months ago
— ❆ —
"You lied."
✕The air was cold, suffocating, biting. Kim Taeyeon felt her heart lurch when those words slipped from Baekhyun's quivering lips, and god knows how badly she wanted to hug the boy and whisper "it's okay" into his ear.
She wouldn't; she couldn't, because things were far from fine.
The presence behind her was heavy with barely restrained rage. In the brightly lit corridor, everything seemed so dimly dull then. Every muscle of Taeyeon screamed for her to just turn and explain herself, but her mind spoke of a different story entirely.
"But it's okay, Taeyeon. Everything is okay, everything will be okay." There was a hint of desperation in his voice then. "I know you didn't mean it."
"But I did."
The most Taeyeon was capable of was turning in her spot, for the moment she raised her eyes to meet Baekhyun's, a part of her crumbled. He looked so broken, so torn, his face crumpled in confusion.
"We need to stop seeing each other, Baekhyun." Was what she had told him, an hour ago, at sunset. Under the blanket of amber and salmon hues, of warm breezes and flocks of starlings, the two should have been painted in a breathtaking portrait, but everything was wrong. It was beautiful, yes, but an exquisitely heartbreaking kind of beauty.
They had sat in silence, until Taeyeon made a move to leave and Baekhyun couldn't handle it anymore. He knew this was coming, from the gazes that were becoming more distant, and the slow text replies that she had blamed on hectic schedules. Yet, he never prepared himself for the onslaught of blunt replies she would throw right in his face. He didn't expect Taeyeon to utter those words that easily.
Those promises they'd foolishly made in their early days of courting were long buried under waves of crumbling pressure.
And so he had mumbled, through gritting teeth, "You lied."
When he noticed Taeyeon's shoulders that had tensed up, regret washed over his anger and he felt the overwhelming urge to chase after her and wrap her familiar fragile form in his embrace once again.
Yet, Taeyeon proved him wrong by saying out loud that she did mean it. There were no bystanders, no cameras, no facade to put up, and still she stood by her words. She was a hell of a good actor, Baekhyun wanted to believe, when her voice remained steady with not a single hint of wavering in it.
"No." Baekhyun surprised himself by shouting with such determination even Taeyeon's eyes widened ever so slightly. With a much softer voice, he continued, "No. I— You— We can't just—"
"Baekhyun."
"You know this won't end up well either. I just... We just need time to sort this out. Let the storm die down, and we'll be back to where we were again. Things will be okay."
He was on the verge of begging.
"Don't you see the problem, Baek?" Taeyeon willed herself to walk closer to the man she was about to land a hard blow on, every inch of her crawling with unwillingness. "The public isn't the obstacle now. It's us, it's that wound they've inflicted on us. We are not the same anymore."
Baekhyun shook his head quickly, placing both hands on Taeyeon's arms as he attempted to bring her in closer, as if it would bring her back to him. "The wound will recover. We'll go back to square one if we have to. I still like you, Taeyeon. No, scratch that, I'm crazy in love with you, so please."
When Taeyeon merely stared back at him with glassy eyes, he knew, at once, that it wasn't just a simple wound the media had inflicted. If it's a scratch upon the exposed skin, he could put a band aid over it. If it's a burn on the finger, he could let it cool under running water and apply ointment on it.
It's a damn crack, Baekhyun realizes, that ran along their straining glass relationship. A crack the both of them can't help but look on as it continued to spread.
"But I don't need you anymore, Baekhyun. So many things have happened in the past year, and I've changed. Hell, we've both changed."
Baekhyun frowned, his jaw clenched as Taeyeon pulled herself away from his grasp. "Not me, Taeyeon. I've never changed."
"Then I was the one who changed, okay?!" Taeyeon's outburst caused Baekhyun's breath to hitch. "I need someone who can protect me. Someone who's reliable enough to shield me, someone whose shoulders I can lean my head on when I'm tired."
Her next few words sent his heart plummeting down a cliff so steep he was sure it'd be bruised by the time he found it. If he ever found it.
"Not a world class idol who I don't get to see for months."
That, he had no words to argue with.
Choosing between his loved ones and his job was a sensitive topic they both were well aware to not touch upon. It struck a painful chord in him, and it pained Taeyeon to see his lingering hands fall limp by his sides as his gaze turned vacant.
Taeyeon wasn't selfless, not at all. She didn't do it to spare Baekhyun a heartache in the future, nor did she do it to protect the both of them. She spat those words because she had always been the logical one between the pair, and she believed their relationship was way too strained to even consider sending it for repair.
She was tired.
a/n; sorry that this chapter was so short aHHH ;-; but i had to add in this flashback because now y'all know that bbh had a reason for him acting like an asshole yikes. despite the low word count, this chapter actually reveals quite a lot...
ok get ready for word spam omg
1) not just the media, but the hectic schedules, had a larger impact than they realized. antis are to blame, of course, but there has to be a time when they're beyond exhausted, having to hold onto something the public was against + their tiring schedules that allow little time for them to meet
2) being in love doesn't mean you'll always be a saint aka sacrificing something to make your loved one happy. like the 2nd last paragraph, taeyeon said those nasty words not because she wants to be the "it's because i love him, that's why i'm letting him go" kind of selfless person, but because she's insecure of their relationship. similarly to the taeyeon irl, she has much — way too much — to bottle up. she's not the type to pour out her feelings (even to baekhyun) and she overthinks most of the time. she trusts b, she really does. he shows her the light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel, but she has her limits as well. being someone who finds it hard to voice out her feelings, she naturally chose the easier and (only) path she had — letting it all go because it's too tiring for her to hold on to anymore.
3) some of you may not agree with taeyeon's way of thinking here. but please know that she's been through a lot, and this chapter is set in the context (7 months ago) where baekhyun wasn't that mature yet. we'll be going back to present time in the next chapter, and that is when baekhyun is more capable of taking care of her.
4) there will be many instances where you'll be like "wHat tHE HELL jUst hUG AND gEt it oVER AND DONE WITH" i kNow i kNOWWW but every detail has been thought of carefully, and their actions/speech are justified, trust me.
thank you for reading up till here omf my thoughts regurgitation wth. anyway, all in all, the angst in 'time lapse' will be more of due to the straining r/s between the both of them, instead of antis hating on them. :)
