"Friends" || G.D. ||

38: How?

^^me too gray^^

Lynn's P.O.V. 

I don't remember much on the drive back. I remember looking out the window and thinking about the baby. I hadn't even known I was pregnant until that night. Even then, I didn't know if I really was or not. 

So why did I start thinking about baby names then? Why did I want to have the baby no matter whose child it was? Why did I want to give birth and love the baby? Why did I think that something would finally go right for me?

To be honest, I knew that I was getting depressed. I didn't want to talk about it, though. Grayson figured that out after a couple days from when we got back from the hospital. Again, I have been staying at Grayson's and Ethan's place. I am barely over at mine. 

I have considered just asking them if I could live with them. I rarely even live in my place. But then comes up the problem of where I will put my stuff. They have a two bedroom apartment and so do I. I just use one of the bedrooms as another living room so I count it as a one bedroom apartment. 

Would Grayson even want to live with me? I am too nervous to ask and too depressed to say anything.

Grayson has tried to talk to me about the baby but I just wave him off. When we got back from the hospital, I went straight to Grayson's room and fell asleep. I got woke up later and Ethan told me that I had been asleep for almost a full day. Days passed like a blur. Soon it had been a week later and it didn't feel like it. 

I'm just laying on Grayson's bed staring at a wall, thinking about all of this when Grayson walks in, freshly showered. 

"Hey, babe," he says, leaning down and giving me a light, quick kiss. 

"Hi," I say. 

"What are you doing," he asks me. 

I shrug my shoulders and say, "Thinkin'." 

"About?" he says drawing out the o. 

I don't say anything. I don't want to let him know that I am still caught up over the baby. 

"We have to talk," Grayson says after a while. 

"What do you mean by that?" I say, my stomach dropping. Here goes another thing that I want and love, gone. First my mom, then the baby, no Grayson. I am losing everything. 

"Everything. Everything that has been happening. You are obviously depressed. We need to talk about the baby. That is what we need to talk about," he says. 

I stay completely still, looking at him. I thought he was breaking up with me. Why would I even think something like that?

"Okay, fine. I'll start. We finally figured out whose the baby's father was but we were too late. I get that we were too late and I am so sorry. But you need to talk about this. Now you talk to me because I hate HATE seeing you like this," Grayson says. 

"Tell you what, Grayson? What am I supposed to tell you?" I say looking at him, "Am I supposed to tell you that I keep repeating to myself that we weren't ready to have a baby even though we have the money. I have 28,000 dollars from my mom's stuff in the house. That is not to mention the letter I just got from the place saying that someone bought the house so I get 11,000 dollars more. And that is just me! All of that untouched money we can use for the baby. How am I supposed to tell you that I wanted to have this baby and then Kyce fucked it up because I am an idiot and trusted him and you told me not to but I did? How am I not to blame for this baby dying, Grayson? How am I supposed to tell you all of this? Huh, Grayson? How?" I say finishing. 

I can't cry even though I want to. I have cried way too much in this last month and I am just all dried up. I put my head down and sigh. I feel Grayson move closer to me and then his arms go around me. 

"It isn't your fault, Lynn. Do you hear me? Not. Your. Fault. I wanted the baby too. I did. I was scared, though. Not because we have only been 'together' for almost 3 months but because I didn't know who the father was. I hoped and prayed that it was mine and it was. Kyce fucked it all up by what he did. You didn't do it. You just trusted the wrong person and we have all done that before. I love you, Lynn Matterson," he says. 

"I love you, too, Grayson Dolan," I say, my heart warming. I continue to think about asking him to move in with him, but I don't know what I would say or how I would say it. 

"I'd love that," Grayson says. 

I snap out of my daze and look at him, "Love what?"

"You moving in. That is literally what you just said," Grayson says. 

"I didn't mean to," I say, my face getting hot. 

"But I would love if you moved in. You are barely at your place anyway. You could live with us," Grayson says. 

"I'll have to think about it," I say smiling. 

"Okay but don't take too much time thinking about it. I might just go crazy," he says. 

I might update again tonight so if you want that, then vote. I would like for this to get to 15-20 votes in the next like 11 hours. Right now it is 10 in the morning so get that many votes by 9 at night (for my time) then I will update again. 

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Here is the EOCP
(DEAD 😂😂😂😂😂 so trueeeee)

I am literally the first one, though. And a little of the last one. I would love to see them get girlfriends and do other stuff. It is their life and the people that say "YOU CAN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE YOU ARE MIIIINNNNE!" are the most annoying types of fangirls. Like seriously, do you think you actually have a chance with them. Let them be happy and live their lives. Nothing is wrong with what they are doing.