Business as Usual~c.h.w

11. Loaded.

After Jiho got his ass handed to him the way he deserved. We all went back to my house. After what just happened, Hyungwon and I decided to give everyone a much needed day off and take one ourselves.

Yes, all the leads and the CEO of two companies should not be off but we out some trusted individuals in charge while we are off. Hyungwon explained how they can handle Chae Co. For one day without burning the building down and I know my employees can.

My house definitely has enough room for all of us, so everyone is laying in the living room trying to process what just happened, while I had to go my room momentarily. I just got off of the phone with Jiho's boss and let's just say I never use my power when I said it was Kana Light they bowed to my feet.

Long story short Jiho is fired from his position and I want him to go near Apollo again. I can end him and make it look like an accident. My aunt and uncle can try me also. Their own fucking daughter was suffering and they wouldn't do anything about it. Hyungwon says he made sure everything is covered over and no one will know about any of this.

I refuse to let it happen again. I'm glad she has Hoseok. If I wouldn't have noticed, who knows what would've happened or what can still happen. I've gotta warn Hoseok to stay and watch over her when I can't. I refuse to lose her.

I didn't realize I was on the borderline of sobbing all over again until the lump in my throat became too much. I saw her practically dying inside but was too stupid to realize.

The salted drops of liquid come spilling out of my eyes again and my body feels numb. Completely numb. I want to scream, I want yell out, I want to punch something.. but I do none of this.

I silently shatter on my bedroom floor.

I'm so fucking stupid. The one person that I souly didn't want to ever have to experience anything like that, did.

I'm so sorry Apollo.

I'm so sorry.

My head feels like a firework just waiting to go off and I can't breathe.

Why can't I fucking breathe?

"Kana?" Hyungwon's voice calls out from what sounds like a distance away.

Freezing immediately, I wipe my eyes and try to get it together. Yet, I can't.

The tears won't stop flowing and my body won't take in oxygen. I feel light headed and I can't even scream. Why?

Tugging on my hair, I try to get it together.

"Kana?" He says as he knocks on my door.

Sniffing I try to sound stronger, firmer, not falling apart.

"Yes?" I say but the waver in my voice was so clear, I cringe.

He slowly opens my door and looks directly at me. His eyes looks so sad.

"Kana.." He says as he sits down beside me while throwing an arm around my shoulders.

"What's wrong?" He says quietly.

At that the small amount of composure, I had gained dies.

My eyes hurt from all of the tears and I can't feel anything but this numbness. Absolutely nothing.

Giving up on even holding my head up, I drop it on his shoulder. The sobs wracking every part of my being causing my head to feel as if it's on the verge of bursting.

"Shhh.. Kana, it'll be okay." He murmurs lullingly.

It wasn't until now that I realized just how calming and low his voice is. Both of his arms draped securely around me and my head is in the crook of his neck.

I would push him away from being this close to me, if I were any other circumstance, but I'm too weak to.

"No.. It won't." I rasp out so quietly that I didn't realize it was voice at first.

"She got hurt, Hyungwon. And I let it happen! I'm so fucking stupid." I say as my voice cracks yet again.

The sobs resurface again and damn it I'm so sick of this.

I'm so tired and fed up.

I hadn't cried since Yoongi made me actually tell him how I felt when we were teenagers. It feels so horrible.

It's so fucking horrible.

I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I don't want to feel out of control, drowning, and like I'm dying.

I feel like dying.

"Kana, you're not stupid. Look at me." He says and I shake my head while further pushing it in his neck.

If you're trying to make me feel better you're not going to. I know it was my fault.

"Kana. Look at me." He's says firmer while pushing my torso back gently.

Raising my head with the hair covering my eyes. He brsuhes my hair behind my ear lightly.

As soon as he looks into my eyes he seems like he could cry.

"How long?" He says quietly.

"What?" I ask while sniffling.

Fucking hell, if I don't stop crying. I'm so fucking weak. Get it together, Kana.

"How long have you been like this?" He says sadly.

Knowing what he means I just bow my head further.

"Teenager." I murmur back.

I rember how I start my descent. I started falling and no one was there to catch me or break my fall. Until Yoongi came. When I was on the verge of just giving up, he wouldn't let me.

Then Apollo tried it make me happy.

Apollo.

The moment I think about her, I burst into tears again. I let her down.

Hyungwon immediately laces his arms around me as the door opens and I hear Yoongi and Apollo's voices.

"Kana?" They same at the same time which only makes me cry harder.

Damn it. I'm so sorry guys.

I'm so sorry.