The Insiders

Chapter 19

Chapter 19- Peter

I can't let go of her. I'm afraid if I let go of her she'll disappear again. I have so many questions to ask her. Where was she? Why did she leave her family in their burning house? Who else was there? What did they do to her? Does she still love me like I love her? I won't ask her these questions though. She's already fragile enough, I don't want to push her. I need know though.

"You finished your dinner?" I gently ask her. She nods. I begin to lead her to our make-do compost basket. I try to think of something to say to her on our way back to our tent but I can't. I know she's my girlfriend and I should know what to say but it doesn't seem like she wants to talk. Maybe whatever those people did to her was a lot worse than I thought. We stop by my tent and I grab her some sweat pants. The ones she has on are bloody but I don't want to know why, Yet I do. I lead her to the bathroom. I walk in to check to see if any men are in there. There doesn't appear to be so I lead her in and lock the door.

" I'm not sure how much you can do in here but you can try to get ready. Sorry there's only a mens bathroom here." I explain. She smiles at me which lets me relax a little. I hand her the pants and she walks into a stall and I prop myself up beside a sink. How did she get here? I'm sure she walked but for how long? Days? Hours? Minutes? I feel I need to ask these things. I take a breath in as I'm about to shout a question but I'm interrupted by the sound of her sobs. So I decide against it. I want to ask her so badly if she is okay but I can't. I know she needs her space. Today has been a long day for us both.

She exists the stall approaching me. The sweatpants are huge on her. I don't even understand how she's keeping them up. Her perfect dark brown hair lays on her black tank top that I assume she had on under her shirt. Her eyes are red and puffy but I choose to ignore them. I unlock the door and we head back to the tent. When we arrive, Sharlene lays her stuff at the foot of Gregory's bed and sits on the edge facing me. I turn the lamp by my bed on. She looks so tiny. So vulnerable. I unzip the top of my grey suit but let it sit at my waist. I sit down on my bed facing her. She just stares at the ground. I can tell she's so lost in thought. I just sit there with my elbows on my knees. I fiddle with me hands a little. This is the happiest yet least conferable I have been in the past month. Just having her across from me is fine. I can see her. I don't have to worry about her for once, and it's relaxing.

"Well, it's been quite the day." She claims. I snap my head up in surprise. She's looking at me with a slight smile on her face.

" Ya." I agree.

"I'd love to talk but I'm so tired. I need sleep." She explains. I agree. I begin to pull my covers away for me to sleep.

"You know it may sound surprising but almost being shot at can be exhausting." She jokes. She laughs and I join in. It's nice to see the old her begin to break through. I put my lower body under my blankets. I stretch my hand over and turn the light off. We lay staring at the roof of the tent in silence only for a moment.

"Are you okay?" I break the silence. She shifts uncomfortably under the blankets.

"Ya," She says but I can tell she's holding back tears. "Are you?"

I almost say I'm okay but I realize I'm not I have too many questions.

"No I'm not. There's too many unanswered questions for me to know wether or not to be okay. I need to know what is going on to be able to answer your question. Your parents aren't very informative, but not just to me, to everyone inside and outside of the wall."

"The wall?" She asks. I've been dreading telling her this but I need to. So I begin to explain.