The Insiders

Chapter 39

Chapter 39- Thomas

I slowly wake up from a light sleep. I sit up, accepting that sleep will never come back. I glance over to Shar's bed, to find it empty again. She must have went to Coren in the infirmary, again. I look to the bottom of Shar's bed to find Amy and Bryce, fast asleep and tangled in each other's arms again. I wish that was me. I wish I was the one who could make her night terrors go away. I know she's the one who could make mine go away. We all have the night terrors. Coren's had them since he came here, for reasons unknown to me. Sharlene was first to develop them, after the Joy attack. The rest of us followed after the Rasdear attack. I shake my head as I try to erase the clear, haunting image of his dying body. I get up sharply out of my bed and throw on some dark jeans and a light grey and white striped t-shirt. I put my glasses on as I head out the newly replaced door.

The hallway is crowded and saddened. The instructors are busy repairing doors and cleaning up broken furniture. The young children who I pass in the hallway do not smile nor giggle. I pass the odd person crying, but mostly everyone is just broken. Eventually, I open the big doors to the infirmary. The infirmary is a big white room, with about 20 beds, ten on each side. The floors are a white, tiled and narrow. There's white curtains gracefully hanging from the ceiling to separate everyone. I cringe as the memory of the first time I was here comes to mind. The infirmary was over flowing after the Rasdear attack. The white tiled floors had splashes of dark red blood on them. The air was full of screams and cries for the dead. I take a deep breath in and force myself to listen to the silence that is here now. I begin to walk towards Coren's bed, which is the closest to the back. As I walk, I notice many people sitting by beds covering their mouths causing muffled cries.

When I reach Coren's section, I slowly and quietly open the curtain to reveal Coren asleep on the bed in a hospital gown with a oxygen tube going into his nose. As I expected, Sharlene has dragged a red cushioned chair next to Coren's bed.Her feet are curled up on the chair while her upper body is laying next to Coren's feet. She's fast asleep. The heart monitor to Coren's left is at a steady pace next to the bag of fluids. I search the made-up hall for a chair and place it next to the end of Coren's bed, opposite to Sharlene.

"No." I hear Sharlene moan. I quickly glance up to see Shar's head jerking wildly, but her eyes are still closed. She continues to say 'no.' only louder. Night terrors. I sprint over.

"Shar." I try to wake her as I shake her by the shoulders. Her head whips up as her hand goes toward a non-existent knife in her pocket. I back away rapidly. Shar breathes heavily as she realizes where she is. She looks around the room. Her eyes stop at Coren, then glide down.

"Sorry." She whispers, still trying to catch her breath. I give her a half smile in return.

"He hasn't woken up?" I ask her. She shakes her head and looks at me. She has dark bags under her eyes, and a big bruise on the bottom of her right cheek.

"Not today at least," She explains. "He woke up last night for a minute or two." She begins to sit back in the chair, now having control of her breath. I go back to my chair and sit on it. We remain there silent for a while. The only sounds around us being the sobs of others and the beeping of heart monitors.

"It's been 48 hours." Shar states. I look at her in small confusion waiting for her to explain more.

"It's been 48 hours since the attack," She glances out of the sections of curtains. "They're starting to take people off of life support."

"Couldn't the healer do anything about it?" I inquire. The healer is an instructor who has the gift of healing. I don't know her real name so we just call her the healer.

"No," Shar answers me. "She could help me because my injuries were minor. She could barely help anyone else." She stops and looks at Coren.

"She could barely help Coren." She sighs. She lifts her hand and places it on his.

"I can't believe this happened." I shake my head as I rest my elbows onto my knees and lean on them.

"What can't you believe?" Shar asks turning her head toward me with eyes like daggers.

"Everything," I begin. "The fact that we got attacked. That Coren's here. That even more people are dead. Mr.Rasdear-" Shar's intake of breath stops me from continuing. I glance at her to see her eyes screwed shut.

"Are we even sure it was him? Mr.Rasdear was never that skinny-"

"It was him." She assures me. All the moments with Mr.Rasdear come to mind as my brain tries to realize he's dead. It's hard though. He may have completely humiliated me on the last class I had with him, but he did warn me about the Insiders. What happened to that man? How can you go from being a high school teacher to killing any child who may be a little different?

"How many people do you think died last night?" Shar breaks my train of thought. I don't think she wants a real answer; she did add in the 'think' part. I shrug my shoulders.

"For certain there's less of us though." I say.

"Almost every group lost a member because of-" She stops. I'm not sure why she stopped, but she did.

"One group was completely wiped out," Shar continues. "Their instructor came here in hysterics-"

"I'm so sorry Shar." I blurt out. She looks at me with questioning eyes.

"Why-"

"I shouldn't have been in that closet," I feel my anger start to boil inside me. "If I wasn't in that damn weapon closet this might not have happened." I stand up and begin to pace.

"You wouldn't have been hurt. Coren would be awake now. Steve would actually be with us instead of who knows where. Amy and Bryce wouldn't be falling deeper in love!" I begin to look around for something to throw. When I can't find anything, I end up kicking the chair. It hits the ground with a loud sound mixed in with the sound of breaking wood.

"Thomas!" Sharlene shouts snapping me awake from my rage. I turn to her. She is now standing directly behind me.

"I'm happy you weren't there," She half smiles. "None of that would've happened. The only thing that would have been different would have been you, Bryce and Amy would have gotten hurt." The way she emphasizes Amy's name makes me really realize what Shar's saying.

"It was really that bad out there?" I mumble. Shar slowly nods her head. I exhale, trying to fathom how that must have been.

"You should get some sleep." I tell her, backing away from her slightly.

"I've been sleeping-"

"In a chair," I add. I give her an encouraging half-smile. "At least have a shower." She slightly laughs, but it quickly dies down as she looks back at Coren.

"He'll be fine." I assure her. She looks back at me with disbelieving eyes.

"I won't leave him until you get back." I promise her. She thinks on it for only a moment, then she nods. She walks over to Coren and leans down.

"I love you." She whispers. She leans down and kisses him on the forehead. She begins to walk away, but pauses at the opening of the curtain and glances back. I give her a nod just as she begins down the hallway. I walk over and sit down in Shar's chair. I look up at Coren, still deep in sleep.

"You behave now. It's not good to hurt the ones who love you." I tell him.