chapter 5: make me forget

182 6 0
                                    

Keaton's pov

There was something about Noelle that I couldn't place, like she was hiding something. She would look off into the distance randomly and disappear. It scared me and I didn't know how to help her. I wanted to know what was going on in her head, but it seemed like she didn't want to tell me and I didn't want to push her either.

"I like your necklace," I commented one night as we sat in my room. She was holding in between her fingers, like I noticed her always doing. It was at least a month since I met her and I had yet to find out that much about her. 

She looked down at it as it slipped from her fingers. "Oh, thanks," she breathed out. I had been strumming random chords on my guitar, but I set it aside.

She avoided my gaze as I tried reading her expression. "Where did you get it?"

She shook her head. "I don't know," I could barely hear her.

I sighed, laying back on the bed. She was withdrawing from me and I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't even sure if the necklace was that important to her, it just seemed like it since she was always wearing it but I knew she was lying about not knowing where she got it. I wanted to get to know her, but she always gave me short answers. "I can't do this," I ran my hands through my hair.

Noelle was silent next to me except for her soft, measured breathing. Her legs were pressed to her chest and when I finally sat up, she had her eyes closed and held that damn necklace between her fingers. She sighed and opened her eyes, sensing my movement. "Can't do what?"

"I'm starting to really like you and I don't even know what we are. I want to be more than friends, but you seem to always hide things from me. I feel like I'm an open book with you. Is it honestly that hard to tell me where you got a necklace?"

She bit her lip before nodding and rushing out of my bedroom. It took me a moment to react to her leaving, she left in such a blur. "Noelle!" I called, jumping off my bed and running downstairs, but she was already out of my house. I ran after her to her house and barged in, knowing it would be unlocked.

 Skylar stopped me in the living room when I walked in. "I think you should go back to your house," she warned, acting as a wall in front of the stairs. 

I backed off a little to catch my breath. "I don't understand. Everything was perfect and she was opening up at first, but over the last weeks she's been holding back. I felt it that first day I saw her, like she was broken."

"I think you're good for her, but she needs time. She'll talk when she's ready."

I sighed in defeat, knowing she wasn't going to let me go see her. "Will you let her know I care about her and I'm here if she needs me?"

Skylar nodded and opened the front door, pushing me to leave. "I'll make sure she knows."

I nodded and I felt that in some way that we were breaking up even though we were never together and I knew the only person I could blame was myself for pushing her so hard.

Noelle's pov

I heard a soft knock on my door and I hoped that it was only Skylar. I couldn't deal with Keaton and his questions anymore right now.

"What happened, sweetie?" she asked gently, as she sat down on my bed and pulled the blankets higher up so they reached my neck.

I thought I was done crying, but I found my tears returning. "He kept asking about my necklace and where I got it and wanted to know why I couldn't tell him. I'm not ready to talk yet. I hate that I can't, but it's still too horrific in my head. It still feels like only a nightmare. If I describe it, I think it will become too real."

Skylar rubbed my back and I was thankful that I didn't need to describe anything to her, that she already knew everything that happened. "I know it's hard, but maybe it will help to finally say it out loud. After all this time."

I sighed. She had a point, but I was scared and I didn't know if Keaton would even look at me anymore. I heard him calling after me as I left, but I was too upset to stop. "Maybe," I replied.

"Take your time with it. For now, tell him something happened that you aren't quite ready to talk about. But you need to talk about other things with him. I got the vibe that you don't share much at all," she gave me a look.

I frowned at her. "I tell him things!" 

Skylar laughed, "Always so defensive. He told me to tell you that he cares about you a lot."

"He did?"

"Yep. I think you've found yourself a good one. I wouldn't let him go if I were you."

*********

I woke up in the middle of the night unable to sleep, so I decided to go down to the kitchen to have a bowl of cereal. As I sat at the table and looked out the expansive windows, I noticed a figure sitting out on the beach. I got up from my seat and walked out onto the deck to get a closer look. As I did, the figure took the distinct shape of Keaton. What was he doing up at 3 am sitting out on the beach? I looked at him for a few moments, contemplating whether to go down to him or go back inside. My body moved side to side as I interally struggled with making a decision. After awhile, my body seemed to carry itself down the deck stairs to him. 

"Hi," I said simply, taking a seat in the cool sand.

"What are you doing awake?"

"I could ask you the same question," I smiled at him.

"Have I told you how beautiful your smile is?"

"Once, I think," I nodded as I looked up at the moon. 

"Hmmm, I think I should tell you that more often." My insides melted as his words. "I'm sorry if I hurt you earlier. I just want to know everything about you and if there are things you don't want to tell me, that's totally fine. I understand. And if you don't want to be friends anymore either we don't have to be friends."

My heart sank a little bit and I shook my head. "I want to be with you, Keaton." My throat was dry and it was hard to speak. "I came here to escape things and those things are what I'm not ready to talk about." Just as I was saying the words, the memory overtook my mind.

The eerie quiet of the house made me feel like something was out of place. I could tell someone else had been here. My parents bedroom door open just a crack, so I couldn't quite see into it. I pressed my hand against it and it creaked as it slowly opened. My heart was racing and -

Keaton placed his hand onto my knee and pulled me out of the memory. My head turned to his and I looked into his eyes. "I'll be here whenever you're ready to tell me. I'm not going anywhere." He cupped my cheek and pulled my face to his. I was still recovering from the images in my mind, but they started to disappear when our lips met. I crawled onto his lap and the kiss got more heated, making me forget all of the bad memories that lingered.  

please vote/comment (: and thanks for reading xx zoe

Bad Memories // a.u.Where stories live. Discover now