Bad Memories // a.u.

chapter 18: the letter

"Noelle?" Skylar's voice sounded muffled to me as I walked through the door. I felt like a zombie as I passed by her, not acknowleging her at all. I walked upstairs to my room, closing the door behind me. I heard her footsteps behind me and a knock at my door, but I ignored it. I sat down on the edge of my bed and stared at the wall in front of me. My vision started to blur as the white turned to red. 

"Noelle? I'm coming in, ok?" I heard my door open. She shook me when I didn't respond to her, finally coming to my senses a few minutes later.

"Sorry. I'm just a little out of it right now." 

"What happened? You can't just be mad at what I said, which I am sorry about."

I half smiled. "Thanks, but no. It's..." I wasn't sure if I could say it out loud because that would make it true. I knew Aunt Kathryn said I didn't have to go back to Rhode Island, but what if that's what I had to do? The guy was coming to California and what if he was after me? The police didn't know why they killed my parents, but I did. I found a letter from my dad in my room while I cleaning before I came to California that I kept hidden away. I didn't want anyone to find it because it would expose things about my dad. 

"It's what? You know you can tell me anything." She placed her hand on mine and I knew she was right. Skylar was my best friend, the person that's been here through everything. 

"Ok, so you know how my parents' case went cold?" She nodded. "Well, my aunt called me and said they have a suspect now and they last saw him boarding a plane to California."

"What does that mean exactly?"

I bit my lip. "If I show something to you, do you promise to keep it to yourself?" 

"Of course, Noelle. You know I can keep a secret."

"No you can't and you know it," I gave her a pointed look.

She looked offended. "Oh come on! I can too keep a secret."

"This isn't some boy drama crap, Skylar. This is serious, ok?" 

"I can tell by your tone and I can keep a secret. Now tell me becuase you're seriously freaking me out."

I nodded and went over to my dresser, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. It was the letter from my dad. I had read it over so many times, not believing the words he had written to me for so long. I handed it to her, still not sure if she was ready to know the truth not. She unfolded it and I watched her lips move as she read the letter to herself. 

Noelle,

If you're reading this, something terrible has happened to your mother and me. I'm very sorry this has happened, but just know that I love you and I never meant to keep anything from you. It was only to keep you safe. I've known this might happen for some time, because I've been receiving threats but I tried to handle it on my own. The man that did this does not believe in what we do for the church and wants us gone. I know who it is, but I am not going to tell you because if you turn him in he will come after you. I only want you safe. That's all I've ever wanted for you. 

Again, I'll love you always. 

Dad

"Shit," she said under her breath. "Why did you never tell me this?" she asked, handing me back the letter.

"I don't know. It just felt like something that my dad wanted only me to know." I folded the paper back into perfect fourths and placed it back in my drawer. 

"What are you going to do? What can you do?"

"Just watch my back? I mean, I have no idea who this guy is or if he's really even after me. It's been three years since he killed my parents. Like why now?"

Skylar shook her head. "This is crazy."

**********

"Something seems to be bothering you," Keaton whispered into my ear. I was snuggled up to him on his bed later that night, moonlight shining into his room with soft Jack Johnson playing in the background. 

"I'm ok," I replied. "It's been a weird day."

He traced circles on my arm. "How so? What did Skylar say that made you run off?"

I sighed. "Uh, just a comment about my memories not being that big of a deal or something along those lines. It's not a huge deal. I know she didn't mean it."

He placed a kiss on my forehead. "Did she apologize? She seemed sorry when I saw her."

I nodded. "Yeah. We kissed and made up," I laughed. 

"Good," he smiled, pulling me closer to him. "Was there anything else bothering you?"

I shrugged. "A little, but I don't want you to worry about me." I moved so I was laying on my stomach and leaning half on his bare chest. 

"I"m always going to worry at least a little, Elle," his voice low and deep, causing my heart to melt. 

"Just not tonight, ok?" I lifted my head to look into his eyes and I could see him studying my face. 

"Alright. Come here, then," he said, brushing his lips with mine. I tangled my fingers in his mess of curls and moved my left leg so that I was now stradling him. I licked his bottom lip and entered his mouth with my tongue, deepening the kiss, while I reached for the waistband of his shorts. "In a hurry, are we?" he asked. 

"Do you not want to?" I aksed against his lips.

He flipped me over, so that he was now hovering over me. "I want to make you feel appreciated, Noelle. Not everything has to be over so quickly," his hot breath tickled my skin causing goose bumps to form as he ran his hands up my torso. He lifted up my tank top, agonizingly slow before peppering kisses over my neck and then my chest causing me to arch my back. He unclasped my bra and threw it across the room and went back to kissing my lips. I let out a moan, "Keaton. I can't wait any longer, please." He placed a few more kisses along my jaw before unbuttoning my shorts and removing his own to thrust into me. Keaton fell onto the bed next to me after we reached our highs, both of us out of breath. 

"Wasn't that better than your way?" Keaton turned his head, winking. 

I shook my head, with a smile. "Don't get too confident in yourself," I answered, curling up to his side wishing that I wasn't going to wake up to a nightmare. 

hi (: i'm sorry if this is short, but it's sort a filler but also has some important info. please vote/comment and i hope everyone has a wonderful day! xx zoe