Bad Memories // a.u.

chapter 6: together

"Noelle," Keaton pressed his hands on my shoulders, trying to push me away. "Slow down."

I shook my head and pressed my lips back against his.

"Stop, really," he said against my lips.

"Why?" I asked but didn't stop. I pushed him back so he was laying down in the sand and I was somewhat on top of him. Keaton relaxed a bit into the kiss, but after a few minutes pulled away again.

"This isn't the time," his breath was heavy and I wished it wasn't dark so I could read the expression on his face. I slid off of him and sat up in the sand as Keaton propped himself up on his elbows. "I think we should take things slow if you do actually want to be together like you said." He paused before adding, "because friends don't do that."

I laughed lightly. "I do want to be with you and I'm sorry about everything. I just have a hard time letting people in."

Keaton nodded and pulled me closer so that his arm wrapped around my waist. "I got that feeling, but I want you to know that you can trust me with anything and I'm here for you. Ok?"

I nodded. "And I feel like I can trust you. It's not that, it's just that I don't know if I'm ready to share my past. If you're not ok with that, I understand."

Keaton shook his head a little. "At first I didn't think I was ok with you withdrawing from me so much, but I think that I understand that it's not something small that happened."

I leaned my head against his chest and whispered, "thank you."

After a few moments of comfortable silence Keaton moved to stand up, helping me up as he did. I started to walk towards my house, but he pulled me in the direction of his. "I don't want you to be alone right now," his voice a light in the darkness and I knew that I didn't want to lose it. I laced my fingers in his as we walked the short distance to his house. The floorboards creaked as we snuck up to his room, careful not to wake his family. I tried not to stare as he pulled his shirt over his head and walked over to sit on his unmade bed. "Do you need anything?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm just going to go to the bathroom quick." I left him in his room and made my way down the hall and into the small bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror and straightened out my windblown hair. I knew that nothing was going to happen tongiht but I was still incredibly nervous to go back into Keaton's room. I took a deep breath and splashed some cold water on my face. I tiptoed as quietly as I could back down the hallway and found him laying in the bed with the covers up to his waist. I thought maybe he was alseep becuase he didn't move at all as i climbed into the bed and pulled the blankets over me. I lied down on my side and stayed a distance away from him, not wanting to wake him if he was in fact sleeping. 

"You're too far away," he groaned, causing me to jump right as I closed my eyes. He rolled over to his side and moved over so that his front was against me. His skin radiated heat and felt wonderful against my cool skin. "Did you not want to lay like this?" his voice a sleepy whisper in my ear.

I didn't trust my voice so I nodded and closed my eyes. I fell asleep quickly in his arms, feeling safe and as though the memories couldn't hurt me. 

*********

"Hey, Keats! We're gonna go down- oh, sorry!" Wes had barged into Keaton's room the next morning, but left as soon as he saw me.

I quickly untangeld myself from Keaton's arms and slid on my flip flops. "I'm gonna go, ok? I'll see you later."

Keaton sat up slowly. "Noelle, wait. You don't have to leave," his voice was groggy and I had to admit he looked just as gorgeous in the morning. 

I sighed. "I just still don't know what this is."

Keaton motioned for me to join him back on the bed, so I did. "Then I think think we should talk about it instead of you running off. Don't you think?" I bit my lip, staying silent. "Last night you said that you want to be with me. Is that still the case?" I nodded. "And I want to be with you, so we can just see where this goes or if it makes you feel better we can label it."

I thought about it for a moment, but I guess it didn't really matter to me. I don't know why I had been so worried about it before. "I don't think it matters," I replied honestly. "I guess as long as we promise to be with only each other."

Keaton nodded. "I only have eyes for you," his put hand behind my neck and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. "Let's go get some breakfast."

Wes and Drew were sitting at the kitchen table when we got downstairs. "Hey, man. Sorry I just walked in," Wes apologized.

"It's fine," Keaton said, his tone annoyed, as he got out two bowls and the cereal. 

"So are you guys together now?" Drew asked.

My cheeks blushed as I took a seat at the table. Keaton placed a bowl in front of me as he said, "Shut up, Drew. It doesn't matter."

"You totally are, bro!" He held up his hand for a high five, but Keaton ignored him.

I laughed and started to eat my cereal. "What were you guys gonna go do?" I asked.

"Surfing. The waves are supposed to be amazing today," Wes looked really excited. "You gonna come?"

"Nah. Noelle and I are gonna do something." 

"You're missing out dude. The waves are gonna be sick!" Wes called as he and Drew walked out the front door. 

I sighed. I wanted to tell him that he should go, but I didn't have it in me because I wanted to spend the day with him. I hated that he was bailing on the guys to spend time with me and he loved surfing so much. 

"So what do you wanna do today?" After rinsing out his bowl in the sink, he came back over to the table and noticed my thoughtful expression. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you go with them?" I didn't look at him while I spoke, afraid that I wouldn't ask my question if I did. 

Keaton sighed. "I was spending time with you and I didn't want to ditch you. The guys and I didn't have plans to go surfing even if the waves are supposedly amazing, so I'm not ditching them."

I nodded. "Ok, I just know how much you love surfing and I don't want to make you feel like you have to spend time with me."

I was taken aback by Keaton laughing. "Noelle, you're being ridiculous. I love spending time with you. Now let's think of something to do since I have the day off."

I smiled at his words. "Um, I don't know. What do you want to do today?"

Keaton was silent for a moment, thinking. "We could go biking. There's this place that rents out bikes not too far away."

I was about to agree because I loved biking, but something held me back. I went back to when I was little on my quiet suburban street. My dad stood behind me, calling "you can do it, Ellie!" My small legs barely reached the pedals, but I was determined to keep riding without the training wheels. When I slammed on the breaks, my dad rushed over to me and caught me right before I fell off the bike. "You alright, sweetie? You did wonderful," he lifted me off of the bike and into a giant hug. I felt as though the wind was getting kicked out of me.

"Noelle," I heard Keaton's voice calling my name, but it sounded far off in the distance. I was too far into my memory and I didn't want to leave.  

Heyyy (: sorry I haven't updated, school sucks :/ but I hope you like this and please vote/comment xx zoe