Bad Memories // a.u.

chapter 7: happy

I woke up sweating with sun shining through the window in Keaton's bed. I couldn't believe how warm it was in the room. My hair was sticking to face, so I pulled it up onto the top of my head. I threw off the covers and wondered what time it was, how long I'd been passed out. I remembered the memory of my dad teaching me how to ride a bike and how I was happy. I hadn't wanted to leave that place I was in, but I didn't remember getting upstairs and to Keaton's bed. I looked around his room, but he wasn't there and I wondered where he could be. I thought about going downstairs and looking for him but I layed back down instead, feeling too weak to get up.

Some time later, I heard the door open and the bed dip down beside me. "Hey, Noelle," he placed a hand on my arm. "Are you feeling any better?'

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks. What time is it?"

"About 3. You got a pretty good nap in."

I tried to smile, but it was a pretty weak one. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to have it happen." I thought that coming to a new place was going to make my memories fade and I was going to be alright again, but they kept resurfacing. I was going to have to tell him what happened sooner or later.

"I'm just glad you're alright."

"I think I'm ready," I said before changing my mind.

Keaton moved so that he was sitting with his back against the headboard and pulled me close. "Ok, I'm ready to listen."

*3 years ago*

My stomachache was so strong that I had to leave Skylar's to come home. I opened the front door and walked in, trying my hardest to stay quiet. My parents were already in bed since it was 2 a.m. and I didn't want to wake them up. They had church in the morning. Something felt off in the house as I walked slowly up the stairs, like someone else had been inside. I tried to shake off the feeling, but it just got stronger as I neared the top of the stairs. I decided to check my parents room, just in case. Their door always creaked when it opened, so I almost decided against it, but something moved me to push it open. My palms were sweating and my heart was pounding. I sucked in my breath as I took my first steps into their room, the smell of blood wafting into my nostrils. I closed my eyes, not knowing if I wanted to see the sight that I knew was going to be in front of me. I walked farther into the room blind until I reached the bed. I opened my eyes and saw the bodies of my parents. Their arms bound to the bed posts above them with rope. Dried blood covering their crisp white bed sheets. Fresh blood still pouring out of their stab wounds. I think I screamed. stared at them for an unhealthy amount of time before I sank to the ground and sobbed. I reached for my phone in my pocket after a long time, dialling 911. "They're dead," I sobbed. My hand was shaking and I could barely hold the phone up to my ear. I explained to the lady on the other end the scene in front of me and soon the sound of ambulances were in the distance even though I knew they were long gone. I watched silently as paramedics burst through the door and unbound their wrists from the bed. Their fragile, broken bodies were layed onto stretchers and hauled downstairs.

*****

"Whoa," Keaton said after a long moment of silence. "That's not what I was expecting."

I bit my lip. "I know it's a lot to take in, telling you that my parents were murdered. Sometimes I still see them tied to that bed or something will remind me of them and I'll shut down. I don't know how to get rid of the memories. I thought that coming to a new place would help, but the memories are still there."

Keaton pulled me closer. "That's terrible. I wish I could help, Ellie," he whispered.

My breath caught at what he had just called me. Ellie.

"What?" Keaton asked, his eyebrows coming together in confusion.

My lips formed into a frown as I explained. "My dad called me that."

"Oh no. I'm sorry. I just wanted to try it out. I'd been thinking about it for awhile in my head and I liked the way it sounded," he apologized as he cupped my face in his hand. I looked into his eyes and all I wanted was to hear him call me Ellie again.

"Say it again."

"Noelle, it's only going to hurt you further," Keaton shook head, a pained look on his face.

"Please," I begged. I loved the way it sounded coming from his lips and I hadn't been called that in so long.

Keaton leaned forward, surprising me with a kiss. His lips were soft and he opened my mouth with his, deepening the kiss. I felt his arm move to my waist and run along the skin underneath my shirt. "Ellie," he moaned moments later. I moved to lay on my back as Keaton hovered above me. His hands went farther up my shirt causing it to bunch up around my middle and I shivered at the touch. He began to move his kiss to my jawline and then to my neck. I moved my hands to pull at the hem of his t-shirt to pull it off, which seemed to give Keaton the signal to stop.

"I think we should stop," he rolled over onto his back beside me.

I pulled down my shirt, straightening it. I steadied my breath and looked over at him. He was breathing heavy with his eyes closed, his arms were folded up behind his head. "Can I tell you something?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah," he replied without opening his eyes.

"You know how you said you wished you could help me?" I waited for him to answer but he never did. "Well, I think you do."

"How so?" he asked, finally opening his eyes and sitting up.

"Whenever the memories consume me or I shut down, you seem to bring me back. You make them go away."

Keaton turned away from me, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. I wished he wasn't being so quiet, the one seeming to shut down. I slid on the bed to kneel behind him, keeping some distance between us.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No," he breathed, his hands pressed against his knees. "I'm just trying to process." I nodded, looking down at my hands in my lap even though he couldn't see me. Finally, he turned around and lifted my face to look at him. "I'm happy I can take away the memories when they come. I want you to be happy," his voice was soothing and thoughtful.

As he pulled me onto his lap and into his arms, I whispered, "I want to be happy, too."

ugh this sucks and it's short but I wanted to update. please let me know if anyone actually likes this?? vote/comment?? xx zoe