Just Friends?

Chapter 22

Jamie

My cuts, made fun of. My weight, made fun of. My pictures, mad fun of. I can't win I get picked on for everything. I hate being me! I know I should be greatfull to have BTS as friends. One of them my boyfriend and the other as an ex. But when you get this hate and you tend to listen. "Why do people hate me?" I ask and he shakes his head. "I can't answer that. But, just know that I am here and I'll always be here." Kookie says to me. "I just want to scream and yell. Like a 2 year old I am." I whimper. "Then do it. My arms are wide open." He says and I lean into his chest. I cry. Cry hard. Hating my life right now his hand goes to my back and rubs small circles onto it.  I cry louder and louder. Then he falls to the ground with me. I take his shirt and scream into it cry into it. Anything to get my emotions out. His hands rub my back lightly. "Shh." He coos. I cry and scream and yell like a 2 year old. Not knowing any better. I start to calm down and he looks at me. I look down and his hands go to my cheeks. To wipe the left over tears. I smile at him lightly.  "Thank you." I mumble. "Of course I wouldn't just not be here for you. I told you through anything." Kookie says to me. He is such an amazing person. "Your an amazing boyfriend you know that?  Your doing it right already." I say and he blushes a little. "Can we cuddle?" I ask him and he nods. "Ohh look what I have been practicing." Kookie says. I stand up and he rolls onto his back and then does a handstand up and stands. "Oh wow." I say in shock.  That was like cool hot, amazing and shocking? 

"How do you do that?" I ask him. "They kind of forced me to do it but, it's all in the arms." He says and then. I move to his stomach touching it lightly. I want to say a 3 letter word but, it feels to soon. He slowly scoops me up and lays me on the bed coming over me. "God your so beautiful even with red eyes." Kookie says and then smiles.  "I have to exercise but, how can I when you are here." He says and then I smile. I put his arms on either side of me and then he catches on. He makes the push up form. "Everytime you come down. You can kiss my lips. Sound good? Doing two things at once." I say and he smiles. He puts his body up and then he slowly comes down. My lips there.  He giggles and then kisses me. Then goes back up. At least 50 pecks later or more, he has to stop. "What about sit ups?" I ask and he nods. We change position. I put my legs on either side of him I sit on his feet. He crosses his arms and slowly comes up and then I lean forward a little pecking his lips. He sure is in shape. 100 later and he stops. I giggle at his red face. I put my cheek on his knee and look at him as he breathes in and out. "What?" He asks and I just smile. My hands go to his stomach. I just look at him. He sits up and puts his head on his other knee. "I mean I shouldn't be complaining about being like this cause I am lucky to know you guys. To date 2 of you. ARMY would kill to have you or anyone. But, yet I sit here crying because of shit."I say and then look to his eyes. His brown eyes very loveable and caring.  "Your not complaining. You have had it tough baby. Don't ever think you are complaining. Everyone feels emotions and it's okay. It's life okay?" He asks me. I nod and close my eyes. His hand moves to my back again and then to the lower part of my shirt. I open my eyes and he looks at me as can he?  I nod and I lift my arms up. My shirt comes off. I look down at my stomach to see the cuts that form pain.

He touches them slowly and then kisses my stomach. I smile a little. I reach for his shirt. He let's me take it off. We are left with just pants and a bra covering us. I know he isn't ready for sex and I am not emotionally prepared for it. His hands move to my hips. I touch his face then he slowly fall down as I kiss him. I climb onto him. Sitting on his upper waist.

His hands roam my body. My hands keep on his abs. I slowly kiss each muscle on his body not leaving any marks. His hands just brush over my boobs. "Sorry." He says and I take his hands and I kiss them. Then I slowly place them on my boobs. I know he is scared to make a move so I help him do it. He looks at me and I smile. He doesn't move much not sure what to do. I put my hands on his hips and he looks down. I slip his jeans off not going any further. His hands move down to my shorts.  I look down and undo them. He slowly takes them off with me in a thong. Him wearing boxers and me wearing a bra.

"Wow." He says and then traces my figure with his hands. I smile and he moves me closer up. I kiss his forehead.  Then roll off him. I reach for my phone. I check for messages and then turn it off. "Standing in the eye of the storm." I mumble out. One of my favorite artists lyrics. (Sorry had to.) "I reach out and touch." He sings because he knows the lyrics too. His hands move to my bum as I cuddle closer to him. Feeling free. Feeling safe. Feeling loved. More lover than ever.