Because It's Love | EXO CHEN

9. For You

I clenched my fist tight as I tried to erase the thoughts of kissing him. But I couldn't tear my gaze away from him, and he's not looking away either.

What does this mean?

Shortly after, he raised his right hand to tuck messy strands of hair to the back of my ear. He then placed it at the back of my neck, while gazing at me with his sparkling eyes. He slowly pulled me in until I sank my face into his chest, indulging in his warm embrace.

He rested his chin over my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tight. We hugged like this for a good few minutes.

All the fatigue I was feeling flushed away in that instant and that moment was beyond perfect.

Never before had I felt this secure and cozy in the arms of a man, and I'll never wish for anything more but to stay this way for a long long time.

What is this feeling? Is this how having a crush really feels like? I feel like my affection for him has grown a million times more in the past few days. My poor heart, it couldn't be love right? It's just a crush, right?

Was it possible to really love him? Or more like... is it okay to love him?

I don't want to turn an idol crush into something more than what I can handle. It's not because I've been in love before, but it's because I've never loved someone before. So that makes me afraid.

When dad left us so suddenly, I felt like half of my world turned dark. It became empty, and his absence still lingers in my heart, even until now. Parental love has weighed this significant in my life, so I have never wanted to imagine how to love more than that.

But why does it feel like I've already stepped too deep into this trap?

Although I'm really really happy and blessed to be around this man before me, I don't exactly want to confront my own feelings.

There's always a line that I should never cross. So this is probably it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I think she left without us," Jas said.

When the outside turned into complete silence again, I assumed that they had left. I pulled away from his embrace and took a step back.

"Jongdae ssi..." I started.

Maybe I should make it clear now. I avoided his gaze and my eyes wandered to the ground.

"I...-"

"Could you promise me something?" Jongdae interrupted out of the blue.

"O?"

"I want you to promise me something."

"W-what promise?"

"Promise you won't leave my side."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice. He really meant it.

"Could you... stay by my side?" He asked of me.

I never imagined words like this would come from him, all the more directing them at me.

Funny how he's also a human with a fragile heart, but the billion fans out there never get to see this serious side of him.