Where Are My Words?

destructive personality

It was a sting that collapsed all her veins.
A line that stopped her breath and pain;
for only the tiniest second,
before she went again and pushed it.

Like beads on a string, they sat.
They waited to fall and paint her lap.
She wishes she would've stopped at one;
but no one can change what's been done.

Smile shining bright and laugh filling the air.
She acts like she believes someone actually cares.
Somehow it disappears,
any emotion avoided and found within broken tears.

Her effort to try slowly fades,
and she begins showing her true face.
She stays up all night,
searching for the pulse to give her a reason to fight.

She was taught to believe in Him.
Yet she knows that she's over sinned.
There's a loss in all faith
as she's thinning in restraints.

She pushes away all of the people
who taught her to love and feel.
They slowly leave her.
She's now living without them in her future.

And another line is marked down
on the skin where scars are found.
She's spacing out in every single class,
grades beginning to drop fast.

She can't focus on her surroundings.
Every wall and person in a blur, blinding.
She only hopes no one will notice
that all of her sorrows pour from every orifice.

And she walks along, confused.
Why her? She feels.. used,
by a sadness that chose the wrong girl.
Out of all of the people in the world.

Why her? Her personality no longer
her responsibility. She's not stronger
than what she had been.
She's lost and gone again.

Another day down the drain.
Her life now belonging to her pain.
She's not her owner, just a pose,
she's only a parasite's host.

But she can't stand to live it anymore.
Continuously walking through doors
that never guide her anywhere.
They only take her back there,

to that spot in the bathroom
squeezed between walls, but soon,
she will no longer be standing
in front of that mirror, unchanging.

She will change the world.
No human in the way of that girl.
She will conquer what she's become.
Crushing all demons, have them hung!

Do exactly to them what they made her feel.
Her mind once again hers to steer.
Because she's tired of making scars,
I'm tired of breaking her heart.