Heathers Oneshots//Kurt x Ram

Kurt x Ram-What If?

A/N- This will mostly be written in italics on purpose. It will also skip Veronica's part in Our Love Is God. TW: Death and Suicide

Kurt? Kurt!

You killed my best friend!
Why are you chasing me?!

Get off the fence. Get off the damn fence.

I don't understand!

We can start and finish wars. We're what killed the dinosaurs. We're the asteroid that's overdue!

Stop being a dick!

The dinosaurs will turn to dust.

What does that mean?!

They'll die because we say they must!

Gunshots.

...Our love is God.

Kurt's POV:

I awoke with a scream on my lips. The lights were blinding, and my chest was searing with pain. My first thought was Ram. Where was he? Was he ok? I tried to move, but the slightest of it was antagonizing. I'm trying to call for him, but the words die in my throat. My eyes are clouded with hurt and worry.  My finger twitches, and my dad, who seems to have noticed me. He looks sad, yet...happy? all at once. My memories are fuzzy, but the one thing I remember was Ram. Falling to the ground, blood pooling at his throat. I remember being on a fence. Then everything went dark.

My father stands up and walks outside. I hear him calling for a nurse. I hear myself breathing; it's raspy and disgusting. My nails dig into the mattress, the sheets smelling like a generic hospital, everything smelling like that or antiseptics. I want to gag. I want to be able to fall asleep; the pain is unbearable. I want to die. But, the nurse is in and talking to me. I have to be wide awake. She checks my vitals and takes my blood.

I want to die.

She talks to my dad outside. I catch snippets of conversation; I hear Ram's name. I here coma. I didn't correlate the two until after it was too late

My dad reenters the room. My breath catches in my throat as he glances at me, eyes dead. Disappointed. Disgusted.

I want to die.

He suddenly cracks, shoving a balled up piece of paper at my chest. A love letter-suicide note.

"Ram and I died because we had to hide our gay forbidden love from a disapproving world."

My eyes water as I suddenly remember everything from the night before.

"Where's Ram?" I croak. My voice is caked with saliva and snot. My dad sneers. "In a coma."

The words hit me hard. I realize what my dad and the nurse were discussing. "W-what?" My ears are ringing. My throat and tongue have gone dry. "Is he going to wake up?"

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My dad is standing outside, and I know he's staring at me. I don't care. Ram lays on a hospital bed in front of me. His skin is porcelain. His eyes are closed, but I can imagine those gorgeous orbs. I wish that they would suddenly be staring at me, I wish a smile would stretch across his lips and he would wake up. But he doesn't. He lays perfectly still, hands at his sides.

A nurse clasps a hand on my shoulder and I nod. "Can I have five minutes...alone?" This time, she nods and leaves.

"Ram," I begin, once I'm sure that the nurse has left the room. "I love you. I don't know how else to say it. The letter was right, I'm so gay and I'm so gay for you. You're funny, and smart, and kind, and everything I've ever wanted. God, I-"

I begin sobbing. Tears flow down my cheeks and stain the crisp sheets below me. I cry uglily and I can't stop. I take gulps of air and I grab Ram's hand.

Before I know it, my lips are softly placed on him. It would be perfect if it wasn't so salty with tears.

Or if Ram could kiss me back.

I'm still crying as I pull away. My eyes forced open, I brush my free hand against his cheek. His Westerburg jacket lays on a chair beside me. I take it.

The jacket smells like him.

I bury my nose in it, catching all of his scent. I hug it. I softly hug him.

The nurse comes back in, and she holds up a hand with five fingers. Time is up. My dad refuses to be in the room, but I plant myself in the stupid plastic chair as the nurse looks over to me. I burst into a fresh set of tears as I shake my head no. I scream those words.

"Please don't! No! No!"

The nurse pats my back with a manicured hand. "I'm sorry. We have to do this. His parents signed the papers. It's...it's time to say goodbye."

She retracts her hand and looks at me one last time.

Before pulling the plug on Ram's life support.

I swear I feel him squeezing my hand as the monitor goes flat.

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I want to gag.

I want to be able to fall asleep; the pain is unbearable.

I want to die.

But most of all, I want Ram back.

All I want is Ram as I jump off the bridge.