Unity | Harry Styles AU

XXXVII: consumed

On February 2nd, at exactly 12:31pm, my best friend Madison Sooley, otherwise known as Maddie, was pronounced dead.

Nobody was charged with any fines, nor was anyone to blame- so they say.

But to this day, three months after her death, I lie in bed awake at night knowing that I was the one at fault.

Things were a lot different nowadays. Alice had moved off to Ohio, Bella and I were no longer close, and Maddie was, well, dead.

People made their own assumptions amongst each other, but the only people who truly knew what happened were me, Bella, and Harry.

Bella and I no longer talked because the topic of the conversation was always either about Maddie's death, Alice leaving, how much things have changed, or why it was my fault that everything had changed.

We would get into arguments about who was to blame, and though Bella didn't think I was at fault, I surely did.

Had I taken into consideration of how they'd been drinking, or perhaps if I listened to Harry and let him pick me up, Maddie would surely still be alive and well.

For the past months, I was consumed in my thoughts. It controlled my mind, and for a short period of time, took over my life as well.

Harry was by my side the whole time. When he was asleep, I wondered why he was. I was surely not worth how difficult and stubborn I was acting.

Now, with sophomore exams coming up, I was finally putting things into gear again.

The school had moved on, the teachers had moved on, Bella (seemed to have) moved on, and even I was beginning to move on.

It was hard coming to realization that I had gone from four incredibly important people in my life, down to one. The one was Harry. He was the only one.

I didn't mind that too much. I wasn't lonely. He was my lover, my future, my mentor, and my best friend all in one, so sometimes it didn't seem as if I had lost anyone at all, really. He made me happy- he was my happiness. He told me sometimes that I was his as well.

What really made me upset for a bit was the fact that life was going so well for a while, and that streak had to be tarnished by life.

I used to be a strong believer of There will be an answer, Let it be. But right now, I say fuck you to that.

There were no answers that we hadn't already known. There would never be any answers that would make me think differently of what happened. I could not be positive about that because what happened could have been avoided if I had just paid a little more attention to the circumstances.

Damn.

--

"Your pottery will make up 20% of your final grade." Harry spoke to the class. He roamed from the front to the back with his hands behind his waist, fiddling with the belt loop of his pants as he did so.

He walked all the way to the back of the room and grabbed a very slender, emerald vase with a million tiny engraved designs on its walls.

"This vase," Harry said as he placed it on the counter beside the sinks. "..Was created by a student of mine years ago. It was excellent, so from then on I've used it as an example."

We all stared at the vase in slight disbelief that it was created by someone who was once our age.

Harry picked up the pot and carried it to the centre of the room.