The Bucketlist Bitches

Haunted

I'm still half asleep when  i pull on a pair of black skinny jeans, a black Arctic monkeys t-shirt and tie a flanell shirt around my waist. I know my outfit is a little too black, but sometimes you just gotta wear it. It is a Wednesday after all, and on Wednesdays we wear black.

My pink hair is a mess. A thousand knots have decided to appear over night, and now i have to go all ax murder with it to get them out again. Just in stead of using an ax, i have to use a brush.

Somewhere in my tired brain, i register that the pink colour is fading. It's still pink, but not as strong as before, now it's more like a weak candyfloss colour. Should i dye it again or just let my natural hair colour return? I don't know.

My body is slowly starting to wake up When i shove a toast with mashed avocado in my mouth. I've decided to be healthier,  and i can proudly say that i haven't eaten any chocolate all week. Life is all about the small victories.

" Do you have gym class today?" My mother asks,  and i groan. " Yes" I hate gym, it's nothing but two hours of hell. I'm about to have a mental breakdown just by thinking of it, when i remember that we are going to play volleyball today.  "Yes" i say again, a lot more enthusiastic, and run down to get my training clothes.

...

" YES" i shout as i jump and smash the ball over the net and watch as Susan Montgomery shrieks and ducks away from it, causing the ball to smack down exactly where i wanted it to. "Oooo, SMASH!" i hear My team cheer behind me, and i smile. I just won the ball back. Again. " Match ball" the teacher says and we rotate. It's my turn to serve.

My heart is racing, i know this is just a stupid gym class game, but I'm playing against Evans team. I don't know why, but he hasn't talked to me all day, it's like he's avoiding me.

As the thought races through my mind, my eyes fall on him. His astonishingly blue eyes are focused on me, and i can see something in there that concerns me. I don't know what it is, but i don't like it.

Suddenly,  the teacher whistles,  signalising that it's ready for me to serve. I throw the ball in the air, and hit it as hard as i can with my right hand. It flies over the net once again and towards its goal: Susans face.

Con, she manages to duck before it hits her,

pro: we win the match 25-6.

Don't get me wrong, i don't hate Susan. It's just that she gets on my nerves with her annoying high pitched laugh and the way she plays dumb just to get attention.

Dumb is never cute.

And now she is all over Evan, leaning against him, pouting as she says: "I'm scared of balls" This causes me to laugh,  and whisper: "Apparently not all balls".

I didn't mean for anyone to hear it, but everyone on my team bursts out laughing,  and i realise i must have said it pretty loud. Because Evan says: "I hear you like to play with balls too."

There is a strange look in his eyes, what is it? Pain? Dissapointment? Sadness? Kind of funny how he looks so hurt, when he's the one to send sharp needles through my heart.

The words themselves are innocent enough, but the way he says them, and the secret message hidden in them, makes something break inside me.

So i put on a smile and say, in a voice filled with anger and hurt : " Last time I checked,  volleyball was about hitting the balls as hard as you can. And if you haven't noticed, I've got a hell of a smash."

The moment the words are out of my mouth, i turn around and walk out of the gym, not looking back to see the hint of regret in his eyes and how he takes a small step forward,  as if debating whether to follow me or not.