Two presents are missing under the tree at Christmas eve. One from Hannah and one from Renee. I understand why Hannah didn´t give me one, but what about Renee? Maybe she just forgot it.
But it doesn't matter, because it´s Christmas, and by loosing myself in all the festivities and the twinkling lights, I get an escape from the real world. Christmas has always been my favourite holiday. I´m not really sure why, but there is something about how the whole world puts all worries away for one night and let the snow lull us in a soft blanket of comfort. it´s especially welcome now that I no longer feel like I belong somewhere.
"I don't think I will ever be able to eat again" My cousin James says as he sits down besides me. "maybe you shouldn't have eaten so much ginger bread" I say and pinch him lightly in the stomach. "Oww, don´t do that. I might explode and then your dress would be smeared with my blood" He says and winches. "Don´t forget the entrails" I laugh. James is a couple of months older than me and we have been really close ever since we discovered we had the same macabre humour.
"yeah, we wouldn´t want that" He says and his dimples appear. James may be one of the most attractive people i know, with his dimples, green eyes, dark hair and inhuman jawline. The only reason I wasn´t swooning over him was that we were related. which would have made it kinda gross, and illegal. We´ve actually discussed it a couple of times, especially after we went through puberty and things got awkward. But we were never really serious, and our relationship stayed just as playful as always.
"Next time don´t eat so much, okay?" I smile. "Can´t promise anything, Christmas is all about eating way too much." And before he has finished his sentence, he has stuffed his mouth with even more Christmas cookies.
"Cat!" My mother cries from where she is sat under the Christmas tree, handing out presents. It´s a tradition in our family that we open our gifts after we have eaten on Christmas eve, and even though some may think it´s weird, I wouldn´t have had it any other way.
"What?" I cry back. "Come over here!" she says and i sigh as i get up from my comfortable seat on the sofa. I had already opened all my presents and their content were stacked in a small mountain on the coffee table in front of me. Big family equals a lot of Christmas presents.
"There is one last gift left for you" She hands me a gift wrapped in shiny white paper and with a blue bow tied around it. It´s rather large and heavy, and when I feel it in my hands I figure it must be more than ont thing inside it. "Who is it from?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. I thought i had opened all my presents. "Look for yourself" My mother has a strange expression in her face and her eyes are a bit more glassy than usual.
I turn the little note attached to the package and read:
To: Cat
From: Seth
Merry Christmas!
I feel my breath hitch in my throat and my heart skipping a beat when i read his name. The familiarity if it makes it feel like someone punched me in the gut. And suddenly i feel tears threatening to spill over my cheeks like small rivers, because this name brings back a stream of memories so strong I´m incapable to hold the back. It´s a name that means more than anything to me, it´s a name that means freshly baked cookies and big dreams. But more importantly; it´s a name that means home. Because it´s my stepbrothers name.
My knees start shaking, and I slump to the floor, clutching the package tight to my chest as I fold my legs beneath me. This can´t be true, this can´t be real.
"your father dropped it off this morning" My mother says and looks at me. "I´ll leave you alone to open it." Mom rises and leaves me alone under the tree where i sit for several minutes without moving. A part of me wants to rip the wrapping paper off and see what´s inside right this second, but a pert of me wants to sit here, savouring this feeling inside me. This gift isn´t like any other gift. This isn´t just something you put on your wish list because you thought you wanted it. This is a outstretched arm, dragging me back to the past. I haven´t seen my brother in years, and this gift is more important than anyone could ever imagine.
YOU ARE READING
The Bucketlist Bitches
Novela Juvenil"I learned a lot about falling in love when I fell out of love, I learned a lot about being a friend when i was alone."
