The Bucketlist Bitches

dear seth

I push a strand of damp hair behind my ear as I sit down  in front of my old, ice blue typewriter. My cheeks are burning from the cold winter air and I clutch a cup of cocoa in my hands to try to keep warm. We're five days into the new year, and even though it has been the exact opposite of last year,  it's loading up to be a really good year.

But there is one thing gnawing in the back of my mind like a spoiled kid trying to get it's parents to buy a new toy; Seth. I've been trying to write him a letter ever since i received his package on Christmas Eve. But I find myself unable to write the simplest letter, not that I hadn't tried. The sea of crumpled paper on my floor was proof of that. I had tried everything, varying in length from three words to three pages. None of them seemed right, so I had almost given up.

Days has gone with me trying to push the thought away, but the events of today has given me a sudden surge of inspiration, and I´ve decided to try again.

I take a sip of the cocoa, burning my tongue on the hot beverage, and start.

Dear Seth

Ever since I received your letter I have tried to write to you, but the words hasn't come easily, and I can't count how many times I've gotten out of bed in the middle of the night,  starting to write, and then crumpling the pages together and throwing it on the floor. So much has changed since I last saw you, and I do not know where to begin. And I suspect that if i should try to explain it all, I would have to write a novel.

So in stead, I decided to write about today's events. I must apologize to the fact that you do not know the the people I write about,  but I shall attach a photo of us all, writing our names on it so that you can imagine it more vividly. (I will explain what happened to the people you do know, if we meet again.)

It all started when Evan and I were going home. The roads were icy, and snow had fallen all day, making it impossible for us to see the slippery parts, and our  conversation was constantly interrupted by small gasps followed by waving arms am flailing legs in the attempt of keeping on our feet.

I should probably mention to you that, no, Evan is not my boyfriend,  and I think you would like him if you ever met him. He is a really good person, apart from his awful taste in music, and he was there for me when no one else was.

As we were walking up the slippery hill, thinking we had left school and all the other students behind us, we suddenly heard a high pitched  scream from our right, and something with arms and legs crashed into me, creating a odd sense of deja vu.

A odd mix of fright and excitement settled in my stomach as I felt snow being shoved in my face and heard a light laugh in my ear. I turned around to see my attacker and discovered to my surprise that it was Jenny, A girl from my class I'd talked a lot to but which friendship never extended outside the walls of school. She was laughing, a small glimpse of anxiety  in her eyes, as if she was scared she had gone to far. She hadn't.

I merely laughed, slinging my body forward and  shoving an impressive amount or snow down her back,  causing her to cry out. I lifted my heard for a second,  seeing Evan stand there looking at us with an amused look on his face. Jenny noticed me looking at him, and when I looked back at her,  she had a mischievous glint in her eyes, and I felt a smirk appear in the corner of my mouth as we wordlessly agreed.

So the inevitable happened, and before he could even comprehend what was happening, Evan found himself beneath two girls and a pile of snow.

I can't really describe what it felt like thrashing around in the snow, icy water running down our spines. Smiling with blue lips until our cheeks hurt and our fingers froze to ice. It was like we were kids again, all our worries and troubles evaporating into thin air: Graduation, grades, friends, feelings, pressure and expectations for the future, all gone. We were young, alive and full of life. And it was so great.

It wasn't until later that I realized the significance of the moment, when we were sitting around the fire in my backyard. Troy and Marcus had come over and we were all laughing about the fact that Evan had been jealous of Troy for months because he thought he was my boyfriend. I wish you could have seen his face when Troy looked him in the eyes and said: "Honey,  I like boys." And kissed Marcus. It really was a precious moment, and I wish you could have been there. Because when we all were bending over,  clutching our bellies from laughing,  I thought of another night, quite similar to this. When summer still hung in the air and we were all exhausted from running. When six people sat around this fire, listening to the melodious strumming of a guitar, marking the beginning of a friendship.

Now winter has draped it's cold cloak over us, the guitar has been replaced by laughter, and three of them are gone. Now we were five; Troy, Marcus, Evan, Jenny and me. And I realized that this night was just as important as the last one, because this one marked  the beginning of a friendship too. A friendship that would prove to be even stronger than the last one. A friendship we would never forget.

I just wanted you to know that I'm okay, and that I wish you were here to share all of this with me.

I love you,

I miss you.

Love from you little sister

Cat.

My fingers tremble as I reread the letter for the thousandth time. I know it isn't much, and that I probably should have written about what had happened in the years we had spent apart, but I couldn't make myself do it. I just hope it's enough. And that he replies.  Because I miss him so much.

"Here goes," I say to myself as I seal the envelope and shove it into the mailbox. "See you soon," I sigh, and turn around to go home again.

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(A/N)

it's a bit short, sorry.

-Carrie