Haunted

Chapter Two

I'm going crazy, or my best friend is haunting me.

I pretend not to notice, I continue writing, my pen a little shaky in my hand. I hunch over my desk, biting my lip and keeping my eyes glued to the page. I know she's there, perched on the edge of her bed, staring at me.

It's not Laura, at least, I mean, I don't know. It sort of looks like her, but... not her? Is that as crazy as it sounds? It's got her high cheekbones, her blonde hair, the clothes she wore when she died. It even has the childish friendship bracelet around her wrist, the same one I still wear as well.

But she looks... flat. A washed-out version of herself, with hollowed-out eyes that are nothing but blackness. It scares me to look at her, so I try not to, I try to pretend she's not there. She never moves, she just sits there every night, like she has since I've returned to the dorm.

At first, I thought I was dreaming, just a figment of my imagination. I'd roll over and see a glimpse of her in the corner of my eye, but that's what you do when you lose someone, right? You think you can still see them, that they're still there --- it's denial, it's how your brain handles grief.

And yet... I don't think this is normal.

I chew my lip until it's sore, my fingers tightening around the blue pen hovering above my notebook. Okay brain, the freaky hallucinations can stop now. This isn't cool. I'm not into the whole horror genre thing! I hate horror movies, I don't even like the cheesy ones.

I don't like feeling scared and uneasy, I spent my entire childhood that way. Living in foster care isn't all milk and cookies, it's awful, and I'd spent every day wondering if I was going to get shipped to a new home, a worse home.

At least now I have control over my life.

Or so I thought.

Considering my dead friend is watching me from across the room, I'm starting to have second thoughts. My pen eventually stills against the paper, just leaving a blue blot against the white. I don't want to turn around, but I know she's still there, I can feel her looking at me.

It's like the hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and I get this choking feeling, this inability to move. I know it's fear, it's a familiar feeling, and the tightness in my chest is nothing new. I take meds for anxiety, which have been tripled since the accident, but they don't stop me from seeing her.

I'm afraid to say anything to anyone, I'm afraid that I'm going crazy. Do people know when they are? Maybe I hit my head during the accident, maybe that's what's wrong; my brain is swelling or feverish, or rattled around until the imagination part is in overdrive. 

I bite my lip, my teeth digging deeper into my skin until it begins to hurt. I need to get up, I need to do something! I can't just keep sitting here pretending she isn't there!

What if she needs help moving on? Isn't that a thing?

I feel stupid thinking it, but as much weird shit goes on in the world, is it really any surprise ghosts exist? Am I accepting that they do over the fact that I could be going bonkers? I know who my biological parents are, I know the horror of their lives. I know what genes they've passed down to me and I definitely don't want to be them.

So, okay, I'm going with ghosts are real.

Step one, acknowledged and done.

Step two, find out what Laura wants from me. She's obviously stuck here, as much as I don't want to admit it. I keep telling myself that she's moved on, but I'm growing more and more to think she hasn't.

But why is she haunting me?

What did I do?

Was the accident my fault? Did I cause it somehow?