She De Man

Tattoos?

*Starlee's POV*
I rub my head and hope unloading these guys will be easier than it has been to load them. I start listing off the bulls we have on the trailer and see who else we need to grab before we can head out. Comanche Wel, Play dough, Gator bait, and Cherokee fiddler are loaded so I holler at the boys that we need Sioux Fall Man and Mr. Feel Good. As I see them run Mr. Feel Good our way, Dancer comes running to the trailer barking.
I yank Dancer up before she is stepped on and yell at the boys how hard is it to keep a 3 pound Yorkie in the house?!? It's not that hard!
Trevor groans and says. "She kept growling at me and tried to bite me!"
I look at him and quickly inform him that if she was to have gotten hurt it would have been far worse than her growling and trying to bite you, Trevor. Think for once!
Tuff barks Starlee Annamarie come help get your bull on the trailer and quit being a brat to your brother. 
I look one last time at Trevor before helping load Mr. Feel Good on the trailer.
Dad calls for us to all gather up and says, "Do NOT forget we have a meeting before everything starts. Let's say a prayer before we all head out on the road."
We bow our heads as Lane says, "I'll say it this time. Next time it's Starlee Annamarie's turn! Dear Heavenly Father. Please keep us safe as we travel. Keep the bulls healthy at the event and buck them the way we like for them to buck. Keep our drivers safe as they make this drive. Keep Star safe when she gets on her bull and keep our meeting short and very simple. Amen."

*Couple Hours Later*
I look around the meeting room and breathe. These meetings are easier than the ones we've been having to go to for the last couple months about stock contracting for another company. Dad is talking about what all has to be done at this event and for the next couple events. I should probably listen to him but I have other things to worry about.
I pick my phone up and think about texting the one person I've had on my mind for the last couple months. I put it back down and think about how if I was important to him then he would have done tried to contact me. I do this a couple more times before Lane nudges me and nods his head towards dad. I look up at dad and see he's watching me which means I've been caught not paying attention.
Dad asks the room if it's okay if we take a 5 minute break to stretch and grab a drink. I shake my head no at him but everyone else agrees with him. People start getting up when dad sits down beside me; he looks at the boys and asks them to go grab us drinks.
As they get up and leave I mumble dad I'm okay. I promise. He gives me a look and says, "No, your not star. For the last 10 minutes I've watched you pick up your phone and put it back down multiple times. It goes deeper than that though. Your riding hasn't been on point. You got caught in your bull rope last weekend. Your letting all this cloud your judgement. Baby girl call or text him. Tell him you want to talk even if that means you have to go to Australia." I look at dad and can tell he's doing this because he loves me.
I pick up my phone and pull up my text messages. I mumble well here goes nothing. I text Cody and tell him I want to talk when we both have a chance.
I look at dad and ask happy now? Dad grins and says I will be once you read what he just sent back. I look down and see I do have a message. I read it and show dad. Dad smiles and says oh so he's over here right now? I'm surprised the future Australian champion has taken time off to come this way. I shake my head and say it's probably to help with points for the built ford tough stuff.  Dad nods and says probably so.
Lane and Trevor walk in with drinks in their hands and says everyone is waiting on y'all. We asked them to hold off coming directly back in here because y'all were having a moment. I raise an eyebrow at Lane and say a moment? Really Lane?
Lane shrugs and says Trev came up with it. We laugh and decide to get the meeting started back up.
Once the meeting was over with Lane, Trevor, and I were standing around talking about what all we had to do with the bulls and before I had to get ready for tonight.
As we're walking to the back so I can change out of my dress we hear who is the pretty blonde with the Hedeman boys? Then we hear oh that's Starlee Hedeman. Yes, like that Starlee Hedeman. She's a sweetheart as long as you don't get on her bad side.
I grin at the boys and quietly say we must have a new girlfriend around. Lane shakes his head yes. The new girlfriend says, "Oh my god! She has a tattoo!" I look and see she's talking to Lexi Montgomery. Lexi laughs and says, "She has more than one. She's actually covered in them. Well her back is anyway. All of Star's tattoos have a story on why she has them. It's really cool to listen to. Plus I think it shows Star's softer side."
I shake my head and kick off my heels and grab my shorts to put them on. I slide them on and pull my dress over my head. I hear the new girlfriend say OMG! Your right about her back! I turn and look at them. Lexi smiles and says Star come over here.
I grab my t-shirt and walk over there. I smile at them and say hello. Lexi introduces the new girl as Amber Dudley. Amber says, "I was wondering if you could tell me about your tattoos? Lexi says they each have a story."
I laugh and say not sure if they each have a story but sure I'll tell you about them.
On my left ankle I have the words daddy and momma tired because well they tired to raise a lady but they ended up with me a tomboy who doesn't take crap from anyone.
On my left side I have a tribal band. It was done as a dare from some friends to see if I could sit down long enough to do it. It was done in Vegas one year during the NFR. So just imagine getting the tattoo and then having to ride a bull the next day.
I turn and point at my lower back and show them my rose tattoo with my first and middle name written across it. This was my first tattoo and I got it during spring break. Rode all the way back from Panama City sitting on it. I thought my daddy was going to have a heart attack with he found out about it.
Next is my compass. If you notice the north isn't pointed the right way. The reason is I haven't found my north yet but one day I'll find it. I'm hoping it'll lead me to an island. And that practically explains my next tattoo. It's an island with two stars and wrapping around them leading to the second star it says "second star to the right and straight on until morning." Amber says like Peter Pan? I grin at her and say just like Peter Pan. It's my favorite Disney movie to watch with my God kids and I love Neverland. I am the original lost girl. Emma Swan from Once Upon A Time has nothing on me! Amber then looks and says you have something under that tattoo.
I look down and say yeah my ex-husband carved his name into my back. It was a bad relationship. That's part of the reason I have as many tattoos as I do. A lot of them cover up scars he made.
Amber says oh my. I'm so sorry Starlee. I look at her and say it's okay. I've had an amazing support system over the years that have helped me get through it. Let's finish talking about my tattoos and not dwell on the past.
My next one is across my shoulders when I stretch my shoulders out you can read it. I quickly stretch them out so she can see it reads "tougher than a man." I got it right after my divorce for a reminder I'm stronger than what I think I am.
I turn so my right side is showing. On my rib cage I have fall down seven stand up eight. It's a reminder that no matter how many times I fail I can pick myself back up and keep going. Under that one I have Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted", I got this one when I lost my second child. It was my ex-husbands and part of the reason I knew I had to get divorced from him. He's the reason I lost it.
Lexi comments and the reason Star's  hair is blonde now instead of brown.
I laugh and continue so on my left wrist I have my legal last name tattooed. I got it with my little sister. Amber looks at me and says legal last name? I laugh and say I was married twice. When I got married the second time I never legally changed my last name to his. I kept it as Crossett. I've never had a reason to change it. My first husband had a younger sister who is still one of my best friends and someone I'm still close to. Jemmer wanted a tattoo with our last name on it so we got one together. Both of ours are actually in her brother's handwriting. It was only the right thing for us to do.
On my forearm I have one of the bull rider's prayers. I say a couple different ones before I ride but this one is my favorite. "As I live the cowboy way, Protection is what I pray, I don't know my fate, Outside of the gate, If my ride sees trouble, Send angels on the double, For in you Lord I rest, Let my life pass your test, By pure grace I'm saved, Lord, ride with me for your way is paved, For that's the cowboy way, and what Bull Riders pray."
I pull down my bottom lip and show her the one that says "princess". This one was done as a joke. I'm my daddy's princess and everyone knows it. I've been told I can act like a princess sometimes.
Lexi grins and says okay now show her the last one.
I groan and roll the top of my shorts down a little bit and show my hip tattoo. My daughter's initials are on one of the tips of my angel wings. It's a reminder that I have a guardian angel over me at all times. As I say this I slip my t-shirt on.
Amber says, "Your tattoos really do have stories behind them. Some are inspirational and some are to cover your pain."
I nod and tell her it's a better way to get over the pain instead of doing things I shouldn't be. I look at my phone and see what time it is. I tell the girls I have to go to get ready for tonight.