"youre so pretty omg"
"i love your laugh"
"your smile is gorgeous"
right right right
it's prom night & im kinda regretting not going, but at the same time im not.
you see, i've never been the dance kind of person. it's not the dance itself, it's dressing up & being around people that look 10x prettier than me. i don't feel comfortable in my body & trying to find a cute dress that will fit me is harder than you think. it makes me feel more self conscious than what i already do.
another part, i've never been asked to any dance or anything & it adds on to the loads of existing self consciousness because if im so "pretty" & shit then why won't anyone ask me? i dont understand. (i only went to once dance & that was my senior hoco because i promised my best friend that i would go)
i was talking with my best friend because her boyfriend hadn't asked her to our prom yet & at one point in the conversation i made a comment saying that i would rather give than receive meaning i would ask them instead of being asked. after our conversation, i began to think & i would rather ask because i know i will never be asked.
i guess i can admit that im envious of those girls that get asked either by their bff or bf or gf or whoever. all i've wanted in high school was to get asked to a dance. it's all kinda hitting me tonight.
this probably isn't making sense but it's okay because it doesn't matter.
