friends.
do you ever just not want to share the people around you? bc you're scared that they will like someone else more than you? i do. all the time.
you see, i don't mind sharing friends, but my anxiety & depression say otherwise.
"they're gonna leave you"
"they're not talking to you because you're boring"
"you're too clingy"
"they feel bad for you"
last year on May 29, 2016 i had someone dm me & since then we've become solid friends. granted he's not from where i am, but he's close enough. i don't have to share him with anyone that i know. well. okay not exactly. we have mutual friends on facebook & instagram, but if i had my way that wouldn't even be a thing. but i'm so scared to say something to my friends about it & i don't want them to look at me like im making it a huge deal because it's not but it is at the same time. it feels nice that the majority of my friends don't know him & follow him on insta or are friends with him on facebook because that's MY friend. i've never had a friend like this. it feels so good if i'm gonna be honest.
i don't really like that a few of my friends are following him or are friends with him on facebook because i just-
i want a friend that i don't have to share for once. i feel like i put so much time into being other people's friend first & im never on the other side of that. but this one time, i'm on the other side & call me selfish but i don't want to share that. it's so big for me to be on this end. that's why i'm kinda upset with the fact that a few of my friends follow this friend on social media. they don't know him. they know stories of him. he came to me, not them.
i feel like this is just nonsense to you, but it's not to me. i can't dare say it to any of the pals that follow him because they'll think low of me.
i honestly just don't want them to be apart of this friendship.
