Lovesick

03 | zenosyne

03

zenosyne

the sense that time keeps going faster

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It hurts. I cried for how many times trying to wash the pain away. I had never felt this way and when it comes to you, I don't know what to feel. I really don't.

But right now, I now understand. I bet I'm just flicker in your head and the fact that i'm not going to be good enough for you is what burns me. I pity myself because it's too much and i don't want to tell myself about 'what ifs' because I honestly knew everything from the start. I don't care anymore, honestly.

I have been in pain in the past few days and I have come up to a conclusion that it's better to love yourself and be the hero rather to save yourself.

Loving you was burning and I have given up because burning goes to becoming ashes. And I want you to know how much you took out of me for me to say that.

Everything. You took everything. And I despise you so much that even the thought of you sickens me. And I want you to know that you're the reason why I second guess things now. Instead of jumping in feet first like I used to. And why the smell of coffee grinds makes me nauseous.