OUR LOUD MINDS → bts fanfiction

Chapter Eleven

☁︎

Anna

I stared into space again, questions floating through my mind. It's not possible. It's just not possible. But it was. Or it was supposed to be. People were supposed to not hear anything in their heads when they made eye contact with others. That was normal. That was possible. But that wasn't my normal. So how had my mind been completely silent when Namjoon had locked eyes with mine? How had his thoughts been inexistent at that moment? I wondered if maybe I had finally overcome the strange ability. This thought sent chills of excitement through me.

"And where were you yesterday? At lunch?" Hye asked beside me, as she unlocked the door to her house.

As I realized what she was asking, I hesitated. It's not like I hadn't prepared for this. I was gone every other day. I knew my absence would be cared about enough. But I was slightly tentative at the thought of her possibly following me to the library. And I'd been counting on her and the rest of our group to not ask.

"Studying," I replied simply.

"What?!" She snorted. "Why are you wasting your time with studying?"

"I want to actually succeed in life," I snapped.

When Hye looked slightly taken aback by my sharpness, I sent a teasing smile. She gently nudged me with her shoulder.

"You're starting to sound like that Kim Namjoon guy." She rolled her eyes. "He acts like he's so much better than everyone, just because he's smart or whatever."

I frowned to myself at this. By this time, I considered Namjoon just a quiet person. Did he really seem that way to others? I could sometimes get lost in my own world, and I tended to drift away from people and events going on around me. Was that the reason I'd never experienced Namjoon's apparent arrogance? From what I heard about him and from how smart I knew he was, I'd always just assumed he was an arrogant nerd. But now that we actually spoke and spent time together, I was beginning to see the rumors and assumptions were really only just rumors and assumptions.

I flopped down onto Hye's couch, feeling a bit exhausted from the week thus far. Hye sat beside me and pulled out her phone. I quietly sighed and laid my head on a nearby pillow. I couldn't really remember why I'd agreed to come over in the first place.

"What do you wanna do?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Omo, omo, look at this picture Eun Ga posted." Hye ignored my question. "Why would she do this to herself?"

I leaned over to see the picture. It looked fine to me, but I nodded.

"What is she thinking? Who told her this was okay?" I commented with a forced chuckle.

"Anna, I'm so glad I have someone like you to tell me what and what not to post," Hye said in over exaggerated relief.

I nodded and stood up.

"Hungry?" I asked.

"No. The salad I had at lunch was way to big," she said, sounding genuinely regretful.

I watched her for a second then headed to the kitchen. Chances were, the salad she'd eaten had probably only filled half the plate. I swallowed hard and opened the cabinet to find a glass. I shouldn't have been judging her, though. Since I hadn't even eaten lunch.

The doorbell rang as I filled up the glass with tap water. I raised my eyebrows in surprise and glanced to the living room where Hye was sitting. She rolled her eyes and stood, walking over to the front room. I turned off the water and ventured over, slightly curious. Hye opened the door to reveal a familiar boy, standing awkwardly on the front porch.

"Hello, Noona!" Jungkook greeted.

"Oh, Jungkook? What are you doing here?" She asked.

Jungkook held out a plate of what looked like songpyeon. My stomach growled at the sight of them. I accidentally let out a quiet noise of surprise. Jungkook finally noticed me.

"O-oh, A-Anna, hi..." he stuttered, his cheeks growing red.

I felt myself smile slightly, recalling his thoughts back when we'd first met.

"Hi," I said simply.

"Jungkook, are these for us?" Hye asked, slight annoyance laced her voice.

"Huh? Oh! My m-mom made these for your family," Jungkook explained.

"How sweet," Hye commented, following Jungkook's gaze to me.

She gave me a look, and I shrugged. Hye looked back to Jungkook, who just stood on the porch. It seemed like he didn't want to leave. But it also seemed like Hye was not planning on inviting him in.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Jungkook. You said you needed a ride, right?" Hye asked.

"Hm?"

"Aish. Goodbye, Jungkook," Hye said, rolling her eyes.

"Wait--"

Hye closed the door. Turning away and storming back to the couch. I raised my eyebrows and peaked outside. Jungkook was slowly walking down the steps.

"He looks like a lost puppy," I commented. "Don't you think that was a bit harsh?"

"If he wants to see you, he can go and find you himself. I'm not going to be the middleman," she snapped bitterly.

"Calm down, Hye. What's wrong?" I asked, sitting beside her.

When she didn't answer, I dared to test my previous theory. Maybe I had actually lost my ability. I slowly looked up and met her dark eyes.

        Always takes the boys and leaves
no one for me. She's so selfish!
Aish, what a bi--

I tore my eyes away, shocked. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, so loud, I thought it might burst.

"I should go," I said abruptly.

"Fine. Later," she said without emotion.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and hurried out the door.

No. My curse was still upon me. Just as suffocating as ever. I couldn't help but be disappointed. I couldn't help but feel a tear roll down my cheek. I let out a strange gasp in surprise and quickly wiped away the wetness on my face. You'd think after all these years I'd be used to the sharp sting that shot through me every time I accidentally peaked into the jealous, cold minds of those around me. But the pain could never be numbed. It was always just as fresh as the time before.

I could never escape it.

Except with Namjoon.

The tiny voice that spoke in my head made me freeze right there on the sidewalk. Because it was right. Because now it was perfectly clear. The reason I recognized Namjoon was because he was the one I'd rammed into in that last year of school. His was the mind that was silent.

In my suffocating world of loud, deafening minds, Namjoon's was silent.  And the thought was more terrifying than I'd ever imagined it to be.