Roommates

Guilt & Grief

Four
Late September

Last night, Tris was nowhere to be seen. I had spent some time with Zeke and Uriah before coming back to the apartment. I figured Tris would be here, but she and Eric were nowhere to be seen. Eric showed up about an hour after I did, stumbling around making plenty of noise, obviously drunk, but no Tris. I wasn't sure what to think-- Tris hasn't slept somewhere else in the entire time I have lived here. It was hard to fall asleep, I just felt guilty-- maybe she didn't want to be here because of me. I didn't want to upset her, I just wanted her to know I was there for her.

She didn't show up for our run this morning, and I didn't see her in the dining hall at breakfast. Guilt made my stomach churn like a boat in a storm at high sea. I didn't mean to drive her away. After my classes, I shut myself in my bedroom, passing out on my bed for a few hours.

Now, I have just woken, it is mid-afternoon. I hear voices, neither of them Tris's, still. It's Eric and someone else. Another guy.

"Where is Tris, anyway?" the other guy says. I've heard the voice before; after a moment of searching my mind, I remember that the voice I hear belongs to Eric's friend Peter. I don't know much about him, other than that Tris can't stand him. Regardless, I listen in on the conversation; I want to know what happened, too. I need to know that I didn't upset her so much that I drove her off.

"I don't know, man. I fucked up. I assume she went back to her room last night." Eric.

"With Molly? Damn." She hates Molly. Hates her. Whatever happened between Eric and Tris must have been bad-- so bad that I have to doubt whether they are even still together. "What happened?"

Eric sighs. "I just yelled at her, walked out even though we were supposed to have a nice night. Basically told her to either stop being a bitch or leave. She called me a hypocrite, and she was probably right. I don't like how different it is here... before, I mean... you remember how it was in high school. It was just her and me-- well, and you guys, but for her there was only me. Here she's got all these friends. It's all just... different."

"Yeah, things definitely seem to have changed." He feels threatened, I realize. He used to have control of her and now... he doesn't, not in the same way.

I hear Eric groan. "What am I gonna do? I don't know why I act like this with her. She just... she just makes me so mad sometimes." I stiffen. He had better not have hurt her. "She came home late, and there was Four at the coffee shop... he brought her goddamn favorite sandwich. Why can't I come up with shit like that? He's with Christina..." he hisses her name and it tugs at me, some nervous feeling that I can't quite identify. Peter chuckles. "Yeah, I know. But then he comes around and acts like he's a better boyfriend to Tris than I am."

"That's gotta suck." Eric groans again. "Look, dude," Peter's voice-- clear, higher than most guys our age. "Just like... say sorry. Get her some flowers, get her favorite meal and take her out on a picnic or something. Tris loves simple shit like that, right? She'd probably think you're being thoughtful or some shit." A pause. "That had to be a nice change after your last girlfriend." Eric laughs. I guess he's dealt with high-maintenance before, too. No wonder he had some comments about Chris.

"Tris is definitely the easier one to manage. Thanks for the advice, man," Eric says, and they move on to talking about tomorrow's Cubs game.

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Tris is there when I get up the next morning, and we leave for our run without a single word to one another. It is not until we are halfway through the run, taking a short break by the shore of Lake Michigan, that I speak. "So, you weren't around last night, or the night before, but this morning when I get up, here you are..."