Floral And Fading || Jonnor AU || EDITING

Part Twenty - Stupid

I'm not gonna blame you for this, but you were the one stupid enough to kiss me.

We had arrived home from our honeymoon three days ago, and you've just spent one of those three days in hospital, and another weak and mostly in bed, Again, your fault.

Okay, maybe partly mine.

Mostly mine.

We were in the airport, waiting for out bags on the carousel, and I had just finished eating a packet of nuts I had bought to eat as it was the only thing available and I was starving. You were standing so that you were leaning against me, your hands clasping my bicep, neither of us thinking about what would happen as you leant up to kiss me, myself, stupidly letting you.

It took a few moments before you realised and quickly pulled away from me, your eyes widening as you quickly fumbled around to get your pen out of your bag, placing it in my hand and clasping my fingers around it, me not quite realising quite what was going on before you quickly began to deteriorate, struggling to breathe and your lips and tongue visibly beginning to swell.

"James, Fucking help me." You wheezed panickedly, some more people now staring (some were already watching us from the moment we walked in with our arms linked) before you sat on the floor to try and help yourself.

I panicked. I forgot everything we'd been going through for the past nine years incase this ever happened, I forgot how to even use the fucking pen as you looked up at me with big worried eyes, eventually, after what felt like an eternity of fumbling with the pen, a kind woman rushed over and took it from me, administering the adrenaline to your system as airport staff came over to see what was actually going on.

I quickly explained that you were allergic to nuts and had just had some, leaving out the part about exactly how, and how we needed to call an ambulance, quickly they called someone to come down and take us to one of the medical rooms to wait for the paramedics to arrive.

I helped you up, the allergy making you extremely weak as we were rushed on to the buggy that had just been sent down for us, before we were assured our bag would be found before you were rushed into a medical room.

The adrenaline only works for a very short period of time, and on our way to the room you began to deteriorate again, struggling to breathe as you supported your body weight against my side as you attempted to fight against the nut allergy.

Eventually you were treated by an ambulance and sent to hospital where they kept you overnight for monitoring and to ensure you didn't have a second, delayed reaction.

"I'm such an idiot," I sighed, shaking my head as I ran my thumb over your knuckles "I'm so sorry for doing this to you."

"It's not your fault Jamesy, it's not like you put them in my food deliberately or anything like that, I forgive you." You smiled weakly "Promise." The darkness of the ward making you visibly sleepy.

"Try and get some sleep honey." I whispered softly "You need sleep to rest your body."

"I know." You sighed "But I just want to go home, and I know how excited you were to go home after our honeymoon, I can't sleep."

"All I want is for you to be happy and healthy baby, none of that other stuff matters." I replied.

"...Can I ask you about something? I found it while snooping so I most likely read it wildly out of context, but why does Adam keep sending you pictures of his abs and things with captions like 'Your dream guys body' and stuff, with you agreeing...would you prefer it if I were more muscular? Do you not like the body I have...admittedly I've put on a lot of weight recently and I don't look like I used to, but I can lose it all again if you want me too, I don't mind, I just want you to be able to look at me and be happy with what you have...I'm sorry I was snooping through your phone though, I was trying to find nudes."

"One, Its wildly out of context and it's a stupid inside joke that Adam is my actual soulmate, even though he's straight, two, your body is absolutely perfect, you don't need to lose any weight at all, you're extremely hot and I'm so lucky to have you, three, if you want nudes you can just ask for them, I don't know why you'd want them though as you see me naked more times than you see me clothed."

You cracked a little smile and shook your head as I said the last sentence, seemingly ignoring everything else's I had said, which was slightly worrying.

"Are you okay baby?" I asked you quietly "like, have you been eating alright and everything?"

"You've seen me eat every meal that was placed in front of me for the past month, you know the answer to that." You rolled your eyes "You're now just paranoid because you heard me say something that vaguely resembles 'I'm fat'." You said, raising an eyebrow and having me down to a T.

We talked for about another 30 minutes until you fell asleep mid conversation, for a while I just sat there watching you while you slept, wishing you to be completely fine so that we could go home, that's all I wanted, to go home.

Around midnight your mum text me asking how you were, clearly she was worried about you, I told her you were doing fine and that we'd be on our way home in the morning, to which she replied that she was planning on coming down to visit you, I told her she really didn't have to but she insisted.

You were discharged around 9am the following morning and we happily walked home hand in hand (Adam having picked up the car and bags from the airport for us).

"Hey! On the bright side at least we now know for certain that I'm still very allergic to nuts!" You laughed and I nodded and laughed back. We got home at about 9:15 and both went straight up to bed, you stripping off into nothing but your underwear whilst I kept everything but my shirt on. We both fell asleep wrapped up in each others arms, being woken up by the sound of your family knocking at the door around lunchtime.

Again, I'm so sorry for what happened, it's my fault, I'll make it up to you, somehow.

Love,
James x