Floral And Fading || Jonnor AU || EDITING

Part Thirty - Time Will Have To Wait

"Jamesy." You whispered into my ear as I stirred, my alarm going off "Don't leave, it's raining outside, you can't go to work if its raining."

I hummed in agreement and turned my alarm off, taking a sip of water from the glass on my bedside table that I had put out after coming back to bed after taking my meds.
"Good Morning beautiful." I whispered, my eyes closing again as you kissed my lips "How do you feel about a rainy day In with a movie, we can hide under our duvet and leave the window open so that the room smells like rain, it'll be like we're 16 again." I smiled.

"I very much like that idea." You nodded, kissing me again, this time I stretched and fully began to wake myself up "I'd much prefer that than you going to work and coming home miserable."

"Me too." I agreed, settling back down with you in my arms, you head on my chest as we turned the TV on, your hair was messy from the nights sleep and mine wasn't any better, but it didn't matter because you still looked gorgeous to me.

"Brad and Tris broke up." You commented after a brief period of silence "But both of them are okay about it."

"Well that's good." I smiled "Tris can do better than Brad, that black haired girl with the amazing green eyes he was talking to was such a better match for him than Brad, hopefully they'll get together."

"Mm." You hummed "Thing is Brad can't do any better and you know he's going to date an asshole like James 2 again, he'll probably go running back to James 2 knowing him." You sighed, feeling sorry for your friend "He's already written a song about it, they've been broken up for less than 24 hours."

"Yeah but if you were to break up with me I'd have an album ready in a week." I shrugged "Musicians live off of their pain, I've never met anyone that's wrote a killer sad song without physically hurting in some way."

"True." You hummed, placing an arm around my waist and I watched it rise and fall with each of my own breaths, reminding myself that I am, in fact, alive. "But I'm not going to break up with you, so we're good, my mum would kill me if I left you. She'd probably take you as her son...She is quite upset that we didn't use her last name though, considering everything..."

"...You didn't want to keep it." I sighed, becoming worried at the thought of upsetting your parents "I didn't want to keep McVey, you did, you were desperate because you've been writing it in your notebooks since forever, it's on the front of all your school exercise books, you were the one who was desperate... I didn't mean to upset anyone, I just wanted to make you happy honey."

"I know, I know, I've explained that to them." You nodded "That, and James Ball sounds stupid - you'd spend forever being cursed with the jokes that I've had to put up with and I refused to let you be able to say 'against the wall, Connor Ball.' Any longer."

"Yeah - but that saying to me was like your 'fuck me- literally' with that stupid eyebrow raise you do, without it how am I meant to get you into bed?!" I joked, acting distressed through my slight laughter.

"I don't know, maybe like this." You whispered, gently kissing me before biting my lip and guiding my hands to the waistband of your pyjama bottoms, which I instantly began to fiddle with, one of my hands gently teasing you in the way I knew you enjoyed. I didn't realise just how long it had been since we slowed down, everything has been so fast and over quickly, this was the first time in months I was a) actually finally enjoying myself and b) we took time to appreciate the small things like the smell of the rain in the morning or how your pyjamas always end up so low on your hips they might as well not be there by the morning. I'd missed this and I didn't realise how much.

"You're wearing my favourite t-shirt." I whispered, pulling my hands up to your sides, slipping them underneath the fabric making you shiver at my icy touch "I've been looking for it everywhere this week."

"It's been in my drawer." You grinned softly, pulling the black and grey shirt over your head and throwing it into the corner if our room where the dirty washing always seems to collect "Sorry."

"I forgive you." I nodded, tracing my fingers in slight tapping motions along your body "You up for taking it slow this morning?"

"If I wasn't I wouldn't be sat on your hips having a chat with you, you'd already be balls deep." You rolled your eyes with a small laugh "Be serious now, James."

"Alright, alright true." I rolled my eyes "Fun fact, when I was younger I used to be terrified whenever you called me James, because you only ever did that when you were angry at me."

"That's the same with me and Connor." You grinned "Anyway, are we done talking?"

"...I guess so." I nodded as you gently began rocking yourself back and forth to create friction between us both, me getting lost in the wonderland of your pale skin and both of us enjoying ourselves.

"...Jamesyyyyyyy." You hummed about twenty minutes after we were finished, we were cuddling in bed watching some Australian tv show about lifeguards on a beach "...Why have you stopped going to the gym? I mean I don't mind, obviously, but you used to enjoy it so much, it just seems strange that you've suddenly stopped..."

Why? Depression, weakness, not being able to physically do they things I was able to before, falling so behind Adam that it became so disheartening

"I just started forgetting." I shrugged "And now I'm so comfortable with you now I don't feel any pressure to look a certain way, so it doesn't bother me, but if it bothers yo-"

"Of course it doesn't." You smiled, pecking my lips in reassurance.

I smiled and let out a sigh of relief, I was glad you didn't mind my clearly deteriorating body and I'm glad you saw past it all and saw me for who I am.

Thankyou.

All my love

James xx