i probably should have said this earlier, but if you are not comfortable with very sexual innuendo and dicks, then what are you doing here? there's gonna be lots of that.
✦
trever is cackling.
"it's not that funny!" josh insists, whining.
trever ignores him, or he just can't hear him over the sounds of his own howls,
"m-most people get s-secret admirers," he pauses, taking time to laugh,
"but you! y-you get a bag of dicks!" he laughs.
"shut up," josh mumbles, eyeing the bag of colourful candy, before going against his better judgement, and opening it.
trever sobers up almost immediately,
"dude! it could have an-rax, or whatever, in it!" he scolds.
josh snorts,
"you mean anthrax," he corrects, "but am i dead yet? nope, so let's see where it goes," he declares, picking a red dick out of the bag.
he surveys the candy, an anticipating trever next to him, before he abruptly bites the head off.
"shit! wouldn't want a blowjob from you!" trever jokes.
josh ignores him, chewing the candy, before shrugging and throwing the rest of it in his mouth,
"you know, it's actually pretty good," he admits, thrusting the bag towards trever, who timidly grabs a green dick.
with an uncertain look, he puts one of the balls in his mouth, sucking lightly, before biting it off,
"oh, my god!" he exclaims, biting off the other ball,
"holy guacamole, do real dicks taste like this?" he says in excitement, ready to start a new line of career.
josh shrugs, shamelessly eating another fruit flavoured pecker,
"maybe if you use flavoured lube, but it's not very tasty," he admits.
trever deflates slightly,
"damn it. s'a shame, because if they did, then oh, boy, my knee's would be bruised," he shakes his head, grabbing a red dick next.
josh laughs, looking over the package one last time,
"but, what i'm really curious about, is who sent them," josh grumbles, confused more than ever.
trever hums,
"alright, let's make a list of possible people?" he suggests.
josh shrugs, getting out a notepad and a red pen. after tossing idea's back and forth, they finally have a few ideas,
dick sending suspects
- jordan dun
- brendon urie
- spencer smith
"smith? the guy who works at the gas station? what'd you ever do to him?" trever asks quizzically.
"stole a bag of corn chips the kid hates me for it," josh shrugs.
trever raises an eyebrow but doesn't comment,
"anybody else? what if it's just one of your neighbours, playing a prank?"
josh shakes his head, "nah, all my neighbours are old people," he groans, getting frustrated.
trever's eyes flick towards the door, and upon just now noticing the new package that sits on the floor, he lights up.
trever jumps toward it, whilst josh just groans,
"come on!"
much to josh's dismay, trever sits down, placing the package in his lap and prepares to open it excitedly.
"it seems more full," he comments, feeling it up.
"maybe they gave us two bags!" he hopes, ripping the package open.
with the force of him tearing the package in two, the bag of assorted gummies flies out of place, along with a folded note, and about a million tiny pieces of penis-shaped confetti.
the colourful mess flies up into the air, before scattering all over trever's lap and the floor.
blinking rapidly, trever cocks his head to the side, plucking the paper between his fingers,
"'eat a bag of dicks!'" he speaks through gritted teeth.
"it seems our prankster has stepped up their game," he looks at the mess, eyes flicking toward the bag of candy on the floor, before he stood up and brushed off one of his shoulders,
"i'm going to go cry for a while, don't eat all the dicks," he speaks gravelly, heading toward josh's bedroom.
josh raises his eyebrow at the new mess on his floor,
"fuck,"
✦
"okay, okay, when did you get the first bag?"
"the night of the party,"
"okay, so friday, what time?" trever asks, wanting nothing more than to throw the hoarded confetti into their mystery prankster's face.
"sometime between eleven at night, and four in the morning,"
trever hummed,
"okay, so i think we've established that you receive them on friday's, since the second bag came on a friday, but the second one came between ten, and twelve thirty,"
josh nods,
"what if they don't slide them through my slot at a certain time? what if it's all random?"
trever held up his phone, going to his camera and putting it on video,
"only one way to find out," he declares, setting it up in front of the front door.
only one way to find out.
✦
what do you call a sunburnt penis ?
sunny d
✦
YOU ARE READING
Eat a Bag Of Dicks! (Joshler) [✓]
Fanfiction"so, it's you?" josh shouts, catching tyler in the act. tyler freezes, slowly finishing sliding the package into josh's mail slot, "eat a bag of dicks!" he yells, before sprinting into his own apartment across the hallway. ✦ tyler and josh are nei...