Pining for a Spaz

Confession

I spent the rest of the week trying to avoid Tweek as much as possible, both physically, and mentally when his proximity was unavoidable.
It was absolutely no use.
I saw him every night in my dreams, and in ways nowhere near platonic.
"Tucker! I'm coming over!" Kenny calls out, running towards me. I pause, not really in the mood to put up with Kenny's shit today, but maybe it's something important. He catches up, bright eyed and rosy cheeked, grinning happily.
"Thanks for waiting, honeybun." He croons, making a pass at me, which I easily evade.
"What do you want?" I ask, getting straight to the point before resuming my pace towards home.
"I just wanna hang with my bfffffffff, is that a problem, your majesty?" He gushes. I scoff.
"You've been somewhere else all week, dude. What's eatin you." He asks, suddenly turning serious.
"Nothing. I'm always 'somewhere else', that's not news." I shrug.
"Okay~" he sings, dropping it just as suddenly as he brought it up. He sings to himself as he continues following me to my house.
"What do you wanna eat?" I ask, dropping my shit by the door and heading towards the kitchen. He hums thoughtfully.
"Whaddya have?" He asks light heartedly. I shrug,
"The usual shit." I tell him. He bites the inside of his cheek. The only time I ever see Kenny uncomfortable is when he's asking for food.
"There's leftovers and like, the usual chips and shit." I offer.
"Sounds good," He nods, smiling weakly. I pull out the leftovers, and anything else that looks good, and pile it all high, on a couple plates.
I like feeding Kenny. He's like a stray dog the way he looks at you so gratefully afterwards. I don't think he even realizes he does it.
We take the plates to my room, and I turn on the Cartoon Network as we tuck into our food, in our usual preferred spots; me leaning against my bed, him sprawled out next to me on my carpet.
"I know you have it bad... for Tweek." Kenny says after a while, smirking up at me.
I pale, briefly compelled to deny his claim, but then I realize it wasn't a question.
He knows. He knows that he knows, and there's nothing I could say to shake that.
"Fuck you Kenny, live your own damn life." I grumble. His smirk only grows, like the Cheshire Cat.
"Hmm? But sexual frustration is so much more fun~" He sings. He's laying on my carpet, waving his legs like a preteen girl, while his chin rests on his hands, so his blindingly-blue eyes can sparkle mischievously up at me. I flip him off.
"No, it's not, asshole." I growl. His grin somehow gets even wider.
"Then do something about it." He says simply.
As if it were that easy. I snort derisively.
"Yeah. Sure. While I'm at it, I'll also sprout wings and fly to mars."
"Slay, queen." He winks saucily. I open my mouth to retort, but realize it's a lost cause. He seriously thinks it's just that simple.
"I'm not a whore, like you." I state blankly. I'd meant it to be mildly insulting, but he took it like a trophy. Rolling over onto his back, he sits up and scoots over until he sits next to me, and claps an arm around my shoulders.
"Tweek doesn't like whores." He whispers in my ear, as if imparting some great wisdom. I shove him off.
"How do you you know what Tweek likes?" I ask, a little too desperately. He just smirks.
"Kenny knows things."
"...so what." I try to sound apathetic, but even I could hear I sounded like a toddler denied their cookie.
"So, you're in the lead." He winks. I stare at him, a sick feeling twisting my stomach as I comprehend his meaning.
"Leave him alone." I growl. Kenny laughs.
"Easy there tiger, a little friendly competition never hurt anyone. Desperation clenches my chest as the weight of his statement settles on me.
"Kenny, don't... please," I croak, voice breaking pitifully. Angry tears start to sting my eyes at how pathetic I am, and Kenny's eyes widen in surprise.
"Woah... I knew you had it bad, but I didn't know you were actually in love with him," he says softly. My face burns in humiliation as I furiously wipe my eyes with my sleeve. 
"Fuck you," I simper pathetically. Kenny loops his arm around my shoulders again, this time sympathetically.
"Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You should be proud. To feel so much for someone, most people don't their whole lives." He reassures gently. I glance sideways at him, unconvinced.
"They're saving themselves a lot of idiotic suffering." I argue.
"Yeah, but they're also missing out on a lot of happiness." He reasons. I scoff.
"Yeah well, who needs that kind of happiness." I say stubbornly. He chuckles knowingly, removing his arm from around me.
"I only said I'm after Tweek, to motivate you to be. But, now it's a different game." I squint suspiciously at him, as he regards me in amusement.
"My love life isn't some sort of fucked up, personal game for you, Kenny. Just lay off. Leave me alone.  ...and leave Tweek alone too." I hiss apprehensively. He only chuckles, unaffected.
"You know, you're actually perfect for each other." He says seriously. I shove him, feeling my cheeks heat despite myself.
"Shut up." I grumble halfheartedly.
"Hey! Bebe's having a party tonight, you should come. Maybe we can think of something to help you along." He says with a saucy wink.

Fuck. Me.