(CW: SH mention)
I found you in someone older than both of us;
I found a certain aster in myself, however.
Surprising that I would be the undoing
Of something other than myself,
But in a way I guess
This person is the same as me.
It sort of hurts, you know?
Not being able to say,
"You will be alright,"
To someone who's going
Through the same thing
That you did two years ago.
It hurts because I was the cause of it;
It hurts because you don't know
How much one will be affected by that.
Will they keep that in mind and carry on?
Will they completely disregard it and say,
"No, I won't be okay.
You don't know my world,"
And I don't.
You'll have to realize
No one will see the way you do.
They may have similar ideas,
But no one will see something
Exactly the same,
And you can't be mad at that.
we would sulk away
Because "no one understands."
Now, I find that funny or embarrassing.
One of the two.
No one will understand,
And until you start realizing that,
You'll just keep depending on others
A little bit too much
To the point
Where the moment they don't agree
You'll break a little more
And spiral into another hole.
We have a lot to catch up on.
We've been over two years clean!
Can you believe that?
No more crying out at 4 AM,
No more stealing sharpened blades.
We're okay.
We've gone through a lot of figuring things out,
And we still are figuring things out,
But we're okay.
You have an amazing group of friends,
And an angelic queerplatonic partner.
You wouldn't know what that is though
Because you barely knew you were a-spec!
Who would have thought that a "cisgender, heteroromantic, heterosexual"
would turn into the queerest, most obnoxious person ever?
We went through so many labels
To get where we are now,
And maybe there'll be another change.
Maybe we'll find different names!
We'll just have to remain breathing to find out
Because we have so much to live for
Even when we don't know
What the frick we're doing 99% of the time.
I guess I should thank you though
For shaping me into who I am today.
We've made some mistakes,
Namely not dealing with emotions
and not being nice to perfectly good wrists,
But we're alright,
We aren't required to wear long sleeves all the time
because of gashes on arms
which surprisingly did not scar,
So wow, no evidence of that at least.
Anyways, it was nice talking to you...
Though you don't have many ties yet.
I hope I'll never forget you,
But some things will be blurry.
Maybe that's why we started writing,
To keep some things from not being blurry
From both tear-stained eyes and inevitable forgetfulness.
a.m.g.b./j.m.g.b.
a.a.i.
